Today, Silver and I rode the Great Pumpkin Metric Century in Evansville. Stick with me...there's some much needed background to the question...

As some of you know, last year, on this ride, Silver was in a group of four where one rider was hit and killed. I was not with her last year...but this year I was

The rider was mid-50's, left a wife and two sons in college. The driver (a late teen male) barely got a slap on the wrist.

Over the last year, Silver has has channelled her anger, grief, and fear into a "Share the Road" campaign that is receiving a ground swell of support and is in the process of getting nearly 100 "Share the Road" signs installed throughout a three county area In other words, she is channelling the experience in a positive way.

The first "Share the Road" sign was installed at with a small memorial sign like the one that you can see on this post.

The family of the driver petitioned, within a week, to have the memorial signs removed because they didn't want the reminders...

Unfortunately, but due to statute of limitations and other concerns, Sam's widow filed a lawsuit this week against several involveded parties. It got some negative reactions in the press this week. Subsequently, a memorial wreath and hand-made memorial were stolen this week from the site.

I will admit after riding the site for the first time today, this driver is SO AT FAULT and deserved considerably more than a slap on the wrist!

But, that brings us to today and what happened:
As we passed the site, at essentially the same time that the accident occurred 365 days ago, some of Sam's close riding friends were there. As we stopped to join them in their grieving, I WAS SHOCKED to find the driver's mother rudely and offensively confront the handful of gathered mourners. She was making all sorts of untrue accusations and was way beyond boundaries of propriety to a group of folks who were mourning the loss of a friend!

This woman thinks it's all about "her". While I'm sure that the last year as been difficult for her family, no one in her family received a "death sentence" for someone else's carelessness. The "Share the Road" signs are a positive thing to benefit everyone...not an attack on them!

So, Silver is wondering how she should respond to this personal attack. Silver wants to confront her in person (which is uncharacteristic of her), but I frankly believe this will only result in the police being called .

My advice is:
  • Write her a letter
  • Let her know that what she did was the equivalent of confronting mourners at a funeral or memorial service and wholly offensive
  • Express an understanding for her situation, but remind her that rather than attacking mourners and their positive actions, she should be grateful that her son is not in jail for negligent homicide.


BUT, I'm not the most objective person to advise her right now. So, how do you think she should respond?