What would you do?

[Selkie]

A male coworker of mine insists on making comments about the fact that I did not take my DH's surname when we married. The first few times this coworker (let's call him Dino, as in the Dinosaur) did it, I very clearly and emphatically told him that his comments were inappropriate and offensive. That seemed to keep him in line for a few months. Unfortunately, yesterday, Dino did it again. In fact, he actually said that he mentioned it to someone else, a lady who used to work for my DH (DH and I work at the same fed'l agency but in different parts of it). I just ignored his comment, knowing that he has issues with females and let's face it, he's a bit of an a-hole.

Of course, I started stewing over it a bit. Dino is in his 50s, twice divorced, and still rants about how his "rotten &^%$ witch" of a second wife "destroyed" his life (they've been divorced for years). He's currently in an emotionally abusive relationship--she's the abuser---and tells everyone all the details about his miserable situation but won't do anything to get out of/improve that situation. To make it worse, he makes inappropriate comments at times about females ---sexual stuff---when telling stories to "entertain" or impress people. Dino likes people to know that he reads/views porn too. He's someone who's stalled in his career and very angry/bitter about how things have ended up in every aspect of his life. I think you're getting the picture.

Dino is a big extrovert and people seem to like him. That makes it difficult for me to "report" him because I'm afraid that my boss will think that I'm overly-sensitive. In similar situations over the years, I've heard inappropriate comments explained away by "well, that's just so-and-so, you know he's a big goof," etc.

I really want to take the high road here and not cause any waves. I thought I'd give him one more chance and if he mentions my surname again, warn him that I'm going to EEO if he does it again. I know that if I do this, he will be telling EVERYONE about it and make me out to be a jerk.

How would YOU handle it?

By the way, my boss is a female, around my age, and is wonderful. She's under a lot of pressure now so I don't want to add to it. In addition, she likes Dino.