Sororities-past & now

[Mr. Bloom]

Mr. Silver, c'mon! I was in college in "your day" and the term "frat" was used extensively, by those in fraternities and independents. Granted, we went to different schools, but big public basketball schools still. Nothing wrong with "frat" as a term, it's just shorter is all

Not challenging your observation, just stating fact. The phrase was only used by the anti-Greek movement...usually as "frat rat". . Greeks at Alabama cringed at the sound

Like trisk's son's experience, at that time, the organizations were struggling to be more than a drinking club and to provide support to round out the experience.

As silver pointed out to me recently, sorority living was actually cheaper than dorm or apartment living...the extra expense came in the unofficial 'social requirements'

[Tuckervill]

Mr. Silver, c'mon! I was in college in "your day" and the term "frat" was used extensively, by those in fraternities and independents. Granted, we went to different schools, but big public basketball schools still. Nothing wrong with "frat" as a term, it's just shorter is all!

I didn't join a sorority, but I had friends who were in them and they liked them alot. My freshman roomate was totally into it, and she needed that structure. Yes, she partied, but she also studied hard because if she didn't make the grades, she would be on probation with the sorority. It was good for her. I was just rebelling against the dominant culture at the time. Ah, Youth!

Yes, my best friend's daughter is in her freshman year at U of Arkansas, which is near me and I know a lot of people who work and attend there. She uses the word "caf" to describe the cafeteria. We thought she was talking about something exotic. I think each generation makes up their own words or revives old ones or eschews tradition in their own way. I don't think it is meant to insult.

Karen

[Aggie_Ama]

$2,500 at A&M was the estimated cost in the brochure I was mailed for dues, parties, costumes, etc.... I am sure it varies by university. You pay extra on top of that to live in the house and not every sorority sister gets a spot in the house which I do not know how it compared to the dorm because I couldn't even get past the estimated dues part and sorority life did not really appeal to me personally. If I had asked my Nanny and Pawpaw likely would have given me the money because they would have found it to be worthwhile to have a sorority girl for a granddaughter but I didn't really think it was something I was interested in myself.

I lived two years in a dorm and had a meal plan which was pricey but I loved being on campus as it is one of the most beautiful in my biased opinion, the sorority houses are far removed from the campus and they miss so much being practically outside town.

At A&M many of the frats do not have houses big enough to live in and when I was there from 1999-2003 they were definitely frowned upon. Since Bonfire fell and campus traditions have faded I hear frats are getting bigger but when I was there the thought was "you don't buy friends here". I am not saying it is the right because at other campus I know many who have benefitted from greek life it was just never a part of Texas A&M until very recently. The only real frat was the Corp of Cadets which is a whole 'nother can of worms.

[Aint Doody]

Although this was 40 years ago, it was cheaper to live in the house than in a dorm. Also we paid by the month for our food, and that made it cheaper in the long run. It makes me sad when people think that fraternity/sorrority life is all about alcohol and snobbery. It's like Trisk said--it's about finding a good fit. That's not to say there weren't many hurt feelings among those who did not get a bid for one reason or another. At Ole Miss it was a numbers game. There was to be a spot for everybody, but it never worked out that way. But my sorority was a big part of my college life.

[emily_in_nc]

I went to UNC in the early '80s, and Greek life was very big -- 15-20% of the student body, and much higher in the part of campus I lived in. I was a Pi Beta Phi legacy, but my father refused to pay for me to pledge. Even though he had been a Kappa Alpha in college at NCSU himself, by the time I was in school, he felt that the Greek system was too elitist, so he was adamantly against it. His other big objection was that it was quite expensive to pledge and join a sorority, even without living in house (I was a dorm rat for all four years), and I had two siblings following close behind me to go to college on his nickel.

I was very pissed at him about this and wished I could have afforded to pay my own way as I really wanted to try Greek life. I got over it over time, but reading this thread has brought back some kind of uncomfortable memories and feelings for me. I remember feeling like I didn't fit in and didn't have any friends, since nearly all the girls around me in my dorm were rushing and ended up pledging. I felt very left out and excluded.

I'm not sure how I feel about it all now. I don't have children so have not had to think about this in a long time, since I'm in my 40s now. I do think that if I had pledged a sorority, I might still have some friends from college. As it is now, I didn't keep up with any of my college friends. I dated one guy all the way through my years at UNC, and once we broke up, I pretty much left my college friendships behind.

Yeah, I'm kinda disappointed about what could have been. I think I missed out on some potentially rewarding female friendships.

[tulip]

Emily, I was at the same place a couple years later (started in 85), but I lived on South Campus (Morrison) during my freshman year. After that I lived off-campus. It did seem like EVERYONE was in a sorority, didn't it? And I bet in North Campus it was even more pronounced, what with rush going on right there and all. I figured everyone who lived in Kenan was in a sorority anyways!

I think they banned all those silly rush activities a while back, so it's not so crazy with gaggles of pandering girls going from house to house. It did seem rather pandering, the rush part. But it would have been nice to make some lasting friendships, and I didn't do that either. But we got through it and here we are! Older and wiser, although perhaps not as well-connected.

[emily_in_nc]

Emily, I was at the same place a couple years later (started in 85), but I lived on South Campus (Morrison) during my freshman year. After that I lived off-campus. It did seem like EVERYONE was in a sorority, didn't it? And I bet in North Campus it was even more pronounced, what with rush going on right there and all. I figured everyone who lived in Kenan was in a sorority anyways!

I think they banned all those silly rush activities a while back, so it's not so crazy with gaggles of pandering girls going from house to house. It did seem rather pandering, the rush part. But it would have been nice to make some lasting friendships, and I didn't do that either. But we got through it and here we are! Older and wiser, although perhaps not as well-connected.

How interesting, tulip, to hear from another Tarheel! I was indeed on North Campus (Alderman dorm), and I think about 60% of our dorm pledged, or at least it felt like it. I had no idea rush was no longer done. It was SUCH a big deal when I was there. OTOH, I think my grades were better because I had more time for studies -- I made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year, so I guess I have a bit of Greek in me after all.

And you're right, I think going through frustrations can only make us stronger. No one gets all she wants, after all.

Thanks for the reply -- oh, and GO HEELS!

[Possegal]

. At Ole Miss ...

Hey, I went to Ole Miss. Have we discussed that before? Though I went for my PhD, so no sorority for me (there anyway). I had a lot of students that were in them though and I was quite envious of the gorgeous houses they lived in!

[tulip]

Sorority dues were quite expensive (for my family) and had to be paid whether you lived in the house or not. Most sisters did not live in the house, and had to pay dorm fees and meal plans (or live in an apartment) in addition to the sorority fees. That's another reason why I did not choose to go through rush and join a sorority, although it was not the only reason. I have two brothers younger than me and I would not have felt right about asking my family to swing the sorority dues on top of everything else.

[shootingstar]

I must say that I've learned abit here....of things past.

Would a sorority have benefitted me? Only perhaps for 1 year. I know my life experiences just prior to univeristy would have been most likely quite different from those from a family with more money. I even tried hanging out with international students....but many of them came from wealthy families. I had tough time relating to many of them. So I left the group..sometimes just staying around too long heightens feelings of alientation /differences.

so I struck out outside of campus, to an organization working on Third World issues and foreign aid matters. This is how radical I went.


for those of us, who had build networks and connections elsewhere, for myself it was through grad school and through professional associations thereafter.

[indigoiis]

How interesting, tulip, to hear from another Tarheel! I was indeed on North Campus (Alderman dorm), and I think about 60% of our dorm pledged, or at least it felt like it. I had no idea rush was no longer done. It was SUCH a big deal when I was there. OTOH, I think my grades were better because I had more time for studies -- I made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year, so I guess I have a bit of Greek in me after all.

And you're right, I think going through frustrations can only make us stronger. No one gets all she wants, after all.

Thanks for the reply -- oh, and GO HEELS!

I was just up the road from you gals 1986-88 at NC State.
But just so ya know, I'm a tarheels fan.

[sundial]

I'm a *sensitive*, introverted artist so I'm not good sorority material.

[emily_in_nc]

I was just up the road from you gals 1986-88 at NC State.
But just so ya know, I'm a tarheels fan.

Good choice!

My grandfather, father, brother, and step-sister all were NCSU grads, actually, and I got a post-bacc certificate there in computer programming. Born and raised in Raleigh, actually. But had to go to Carolina if just for spite -- and to get a few miles down the road from my fam.

[tulip]

Ha, Indigoiis and Emily, I went to NC State for one of my grad degrees. Had I not been so snarky as a high school student, perhaps I would have gone there in the first place and not had to go back for a masters! That would have been the smart thing to do. I just loved that the nicest building on campus was the Poultry Science building. I really liked it there.

And I was raised in Durham...so I had to go to Carolina!

[Aggie_Ama]

Good choice!

My grandfather, father, brother, and step-sister all were NCSU grads, actually, and I got a post-bacc certificate there in computer programming. Born and raised in Raleigh, actually. But had to go to Carolina if just for spite -- and to get a few miles down the road from my fam.

Born and raised in Austin. Why do you think Texas A&M beckoned so loudly even though it broke my dad and Pawpaw's heart to hear I was going to be an Aggie? Best thing I ever did for myself, if I went to Texas my parents couldn't have afforded their dorms and no way was Dad letting his princess live in Austin proper, it is a scary world ya know. My choice would have been to 1. commute from the burbs or 2. live with my grandparents closer to campus.