I had posted before about the bike thieves at our house, and my dog being too sick to bark to deter them. I appreciate all of the supportive advice in the thread asking about the euthanasia procedure since this was a first for me.

After a very long talk with the vet at week's end, it seemed to be time. I know you gals told me I would know when "it was time". She had gotten worse last few days, and last night as I watched her trying to rest her breathing was so belabored. I thought... this is what they mean... "it's time".

Of course with the scent and sight of other animals, car ride excitement etc., she acted better when we got her to the vet's office. He said the office is a stimulus, and first thing he remarked when he laid eyes on her was, "wow, she has gotten a lot worse since I saw her last". btw... the vet did offer to have someone come to our home, which they don't just do for anyone, but the idea made DH upset.

DH and DS left the procedure room after their hugs goodbye, DD, though only 10yrs old, really wanted to stay with me. DH was hesitant, but I thought if it would help closure, it should be allowed.

She was wiggly on the table, so the tech kinda hugged/held her neck. I thought I would have a chance to hug and hold her as she drifted off. The medicine acted so quickly, she was gone in seconds. I didn't realize it at first, and the vet confirmed that she indeed had left us.

I felt like I needed to stay with her to close the question in my mind that she would not die yelping out in pain. She did not. The vet hugged me, and his assistant did too as she cried as well. They said we could stay as long as we needed to say our final goodbyes. DH and DS changed their minds and decided to see her one last time as well. They left, then DD and I hugged her. I kissed her beautiful velvet vanilla carmel swirled snout one last time, then we left.

If you don't know, labs LOVE to swim. Something that brought my heart not just happiness, but pure joy was watching her passion in the water.

I felt the need when I got home to take my mtb to our favorite trail by the creek. DH said as I left, "umm, you realize it's raining, right?". Yes I did. I thought it befitting that mother nature would shed her beautiful tears of water in a gentle summer rain on the last day of my water loving dog's life.

I rode our trail in the rain, reflecting on all our good times. When I returned to her favorite swimming spot, the rain had stopped. The sun was shining down through the branches onto the water. I took that as a sign it was time to bring it in and head home.

The vet uses a creamatory service for the euthanasia bodies. I called them and will get my furbaby's ashes back. I intend to set her free at her favorite swim site I rode to today. I hope her passion will live on in peace.

Thanks for letting me share. It's just really really really hard.

Miranda

This is her favorite spot... very beautiful... watching her swim always calmed my soul as much as riding my bikes does.


Always her look of excitement pre-trail, "Mom! Are we going to swim?!".