OT: Men mean well sometimes.

[mimitabby]

Walrus? Rodent eyes?
I am SO lucky.

A long time ago my husband called me something because he thought i liked it.
It was really dumb. okay; you guys are all being honest..

he called me his pumpkin pie!
I said
"Why did you call me that?"

he said "I thought you liked it"
well, yes, i like pumpkin pie.....

[chickwhorips]

i agree. significant others! sheesh. sometimes you gotta wonder what's really going on in their head.

bf will respond to questions they way he isn't suppose to, and i know he's joking (he better be joking) but i tell him thats not what a good bf would say. i know what he means, i don't ask him how stuff looks unless i expect a smart a$$ response.

[RoadRaven]

OK... here's something kinda twee, but I thought it was a really nice take on wrinkles...

It was one of "those" emails that clog your inbox and seem to come back every 8-10 months...

It was the first time I have seen this one... but no doubt it will arrive again.

Here's the bit I liked...

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

Isn't that a great way to think about wrinkles - its so true - all my happy times and memories - right there on my face for everyone to see how lucky and blessed I have been!

I'll paste it in its entirity below...




Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4am., and sleep till nonn?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten . and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

[Nanci]

(I forgot what I was going to say!!)

Oh, my mom and dad's term of endearment for anything was Punkin Pie. I even call Dillbird Punkin Pie Bird once in a while. Kind of like Sweetie Pie. Or Cutie Pie.

[Kitsune06]

Significant Others are... interesting.

My exdh once told me I had 'ghetto booty' and meant it in a "I like your butt and hips" way. I took it in the "you have a bubble butt" way. Tell me, please, how at a sickish 108#, I could POSSIBLY have ghetto booty. The only body fat I'd managed to RETAIN was on my butt and hips.... and it looked oddly out of place on my stringbean frame. =P

He also decided to be sweet and buy me a bra once- one of those lacy numbers, despite the fact that I either went 'free-range' or in a sports bra. I attempt to put this bra on, and I left maybe an inch of empty saggy in it. I look at the size (I'm not going to SAY what size it was here...) and said "Hunny...? Why did you get a _insert size here__? I'm a ____."
His answer- honestly!- "Oh. Hm. Wishful thinking, I guess."
(hands on butt and looking deeply into my eyes) "If you had bigger boobs, your butt would make a little more sense." ... how utterly romantic.

ARGH.

My gf on the other hand...
...Venting becomes reverse-venting, which can lead to weird statements that aren't really positive, either... though they're meant to be.

"God, I hate my butt. I wish the butt of my jeans was baggy like yours" ...in reference to the fact that I honestly don't 'curve' into my jeans- and she wears hers like a **** model, and I had complained to her.

I get my hair cut in beautiful red spikes. I love my spikes. I think they're hot. GF on the other hand, is a pretty delicate, feminine girl, and thinks they look too... uh... well... yeah. So she insists on having a 'say' in how I get my hair cut. (I've managed to thus far circumvent her input) EVERY TIME I get my hair cut, though... "OMG! YOU DID IT AGAIN!" or "ARGH!" Except this time. This time she said "Oh! You look like a girl this time!" Are you kidding me?! I didn't even change anything.

I'm sure she'd have some wonders of silver-tongued eloquence from me... but fortunately, she's not on the forum!

[Bikingmomof3]

Exactly what geonz and tulip said. Do not discuss these things with guys. They don't speak this language well.

I must agree as well. You are only 33, you are young. I turned 37 in June.

[Bikingmomof3]

"If you had bigger boobs, your butt would make a little more sense." ... how utterly romantic.

OMG I just choked on my coffee.

[Bikingmomof3]

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

Isn't that a great way to think about wrinkles - its so true - all my happy times and memories - right there on my face for everyone to see how lucky and blessed I have been!

I'll paste it in its entirity below...




Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4am., and sleep till nonn?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten . and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

I like this! I find I become more content/happy with who I am as each year passes.

[salsabike]

This thread is turning out to be hilarious.

Here's how I learned my lesson. Or one time, anyway (I'm a slower learner than that): I asked my then BF, now spouse, how attractive he thought we each were on a scale of 1 to 10 (don't ask me why. This was, like, YEARS ago when my relative stupidity and intelligence balance was very much in favor of the former). He said he was maybe a 5 and I was a 6. I was SO mad at him. My feelings were hurt for days and days and days. What a dork I was. That is such a "butt look big?" kind of question. Poor guy.

[Trekhawk]

W.B. Yeats touches my heart with these lines

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
and loved your beauty with love false or true,
but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you
and loved the sorrows of your changing face,

As Spokewench mentioned doesn't hurt to have a good push up bra handy as well.