Gap year(s)

[Crankin]

I don't agree that you have to start college after HS and go straight through. Most kids who do gap year programs around here do some sort of organized thing (volunteering or working, travel) that gives a freshman college student a good deal of maturity and perhaps a focus that others don't have.
And NbyNW, you are right about the working. Both of my kids worked summers in HS and had part time jobs starting at age 14. DS #2 started working as a teacher's assistant at the synagogue preschool school program once a month, when he was 13. He also babysat a lot and that was how he made the money to buy his first bike. He then became a teacher assistant in regular religious school, worked in a bike shop, and in a natural foods store. My older son also babysat, worked at Rite Aid (hated that) and at a cafe (where Marni was the manager!). He continued working at the cafe through his first year in college, on breaks. He then got a part time job at a cafe in Amherst, where he basically sliced meat, listened to music, and made a lot of lattes. He quit working in last semester, came home and did an internship during winter session and they offered him a job as soon as he graduated. He has been employed in the same field since. As one of his friends told me, he and his wife are the only "grown-ups" in their age group. They own a house, have decent jobs, and are financially responsible at age 30. Both of them have had their share of menial jobs.
My kids were the only ones of their friends who worked in HS. Everyone else was doing stuff to bolster their academic resumes. I think, for my older son at least, the fact he had done several customer facing, lower level jobs, was a big help for him when he went out in the professional world. And i think for my younger son, being in the military will be a big boost when he gets his degree in economics that he will start working on this year.

[redrhodie]

I took a year off after high school. I wasn't motivated to go to college until I saw what working in a hospital cafeteria was like. Talk about motivating! I lasted 4 months at that job, but it inspired me to put together an awesome portfolio for art school, which I started the next fall.

I know I wouldn't have had as great a college experience if I hadn't taken that year off. Seeing what my options were without a degree was a real wake up call.

[malkin]

I'd strongly recommend that she spend some time becoming truly proficient in Spanish. Rudiments are dandy, but conversational fluency as well as writing skills are really an asset. The cool thing is that she can be doing something else, and it doesn't matter what, building houses or studying cooking or whatever and the language skills will grow naturally in that context.

[lph]

I vividly remember a student couple we knew who both stayed on the fast track and became doctors, through a very structured and rigid schedule with little time to pursue anything else. They came out the other end feeling as if they "had no idea how to be grown-up", as they put it. Granted, we all feel like that at some point, but at the time they were expected to take important decisions about other people's health and wellbeing, and felt totally out of their depth.

Nothing wrong with studying on through, but much to be said for broadening your experiences when possible. If I'd had the chance again I'd go for Peace Corps work, or something like it. I still dream about working for Medecins Sans Frontieres someday.

[shootingstar]

vividly remember a student couple we knew who both stayed on the fast track and became doctors, through a very structured and rigid schedule with little time to pursue anything else. They came out the other end feeling as if they "had no idea how to be grown-up", as they put it. Granted, we all feel like that at some point, but at the time they were expected to take important decisions about other people's health and wellbeing, and felt totally out of their depth.

Honest, all my friends worked part-time or had summer jobs and some came from middle-class families. So I never had any university friends who didn't have already part-time work experience while they were still students. The sister who is a physician noticed a significant socio-economic gap between those like her who had worked part-time and same student-peers who had never worked in jobs during university. She found them more "air-headed". I do remember her giggling her head off at the impracticality of some her student-peers who were bright but clueless. I'm sure they learned ....

[OakLeaf]

I had summer and part-time jobs all through high school and college, but working full time, renting an apartment, paying bills, interacting with people, not being on an academic schedule, all these things were very different from living at home or in a dorm, subsisting mostly off financial aid and parental help, and only having to earn enough to supplement my tuition money and have a little to spend.

Two years wasn't too much time away that I had any difficulty getting back into the swing of studying. Another year or more might've been. But I think that spending that time working in a related field helped with that. As I said, I already knew the language, where most of my first-year classmates had to rack their brains just to do the reading.

[Crankin]

And this is why we "made" our kids work. They didn't have to. But, we wanted to foster independence and financial responsibility, just like our parents did. Well, my parents. DH's parents never did anything to help him, even when they could. But, we also made it clear that school was their first job and no working more than 15 hrs. a week while in school. When I was a high school teacher in AZ, I saw too many kids working 30 hours a week to pay for their car and insurance.
I wouldn't call my kids' friends who didn't work in school air headed. They are all very successful and responsible. They caught up quickly. Some are still in grad school/professional school, most after working for a few years. My older son is pretty adamant about the fact that he has made more business/professional connections through networking with his HS acquaintances/friends than most he met in college.

[tulip]

This has me thinking that maybe I need a gap year now. It's never too late...thanks for starting this discussion!

[GLC1968]

If you know what you want to do at university, just go and do it. Even if you don't quite know but defineitely want to go, do it as the first year is really feeling out the direction you want to take, what department and lecturers are good etc.

This.

I recruit engineers directly out of college (it's the main part of my job) into a technical field. I can tell you that if she wants to be an engineer, it helps tremendously to show purpose and direction in her schooling...even at the HS/Bachelors level. Hiring managers look at that when they look at resumes...particularly for recent grads.

This doesn't mean that she has to go directly to college, but if she wants to and is ready, I would encourage it. If she wants to take a year or two off, then I would HIGHLY recommend spending that time working in a related field. If she can score internships, great...but those can be very hard to come by for HS students. Something like Americorps or working for Habitat for Humanity would probably be a good option for her civil engineering aspirations.

Another thing to consider is that sometimes taking time off and then going back will make it harder academically when your focus is math and science. Ask me how I know this!

Lastly, (and somewhat unrelated to your actual question)...as she starts out in her college degree, someone, somewhere along the line (or a lot of people, like in my case) will tell her that grades are not as important as experience. They'll try to convince her that A's don't matter and that employers would rather see a well rounded student experience instead. That is dead wrong when it comes to engineering. Well-rounded experiences are good, but again, engineering managers like to see purpose, direction and an ability to focus on the task at hand. Good grades AND good relevant experience will point to that. A's will open doors both during her academic career and afterward.

[indigoiis]

Well, I am back in college full time at night (after work) after a twenty two year gap. I have taken classes here and there but this is the first time I am enrolled to finish my degree (I'll have my Associates in May and my Bachelor's next year.) I have a 4.0 GPA and a fairly rigid schedule which suits me at this time in my life. It did not suit me at 19, nor at 22 when I returned for a semester, nor at 35 when I took classes at the Community College.

A gap year would have been good. I was not mature at 19.

My daughter, on the other hand, was extremely focused (she goes to RedRhodie's alma mater) and was not interested in a gap year even though I recommended it. She is also extremely young for her age, although not immature. She's just not a partyer, not very social, and very in to her art and not much else. So school is exactly the right place for her at exactly the right time, and that's the way I feel about where I am at this time in my life.

My sister pushed her kid to go to college and my niece dropped out after 2 weeks. Not everyone is ready to go, no matter how smart.

Gap years have gotten very popular and there are a lot of good, structured programs out there if you look around. But ultimately, I would leave it up to your daughter. We did... even though we felt it was imperative she apply, we were ready for whatever she wanted to do if she had decided not to go. I couldn't have said it would be better to go. Everyone is different. And despite the recruiting desires of hiring entities, the packages are not always so nicely wrapped up. For myself personally, the diversity of my background actually helped me more than any degree could have to land me exactly here (that and, the recommendation of a good friend. )

P.S. I also work in higher education and can say for sure there are some kids here who are seriously meant to be here, and others who should be repeating their Senior year of high school.

[Trek-chick]

If I had to do it all over again, I would take a year off or so, and ride across country by bike. I have thought many times on this but, now with being married and having a house and dogs etc. It just does not fit into my life.

I still would LOVE to do this one day but need to talk DH into it....maybe when we retire

[shootingstar]

But, we also made it clear that school was their first job and no working more than 15 hrs. a week while in school. When I was a high school teacher in AZ, I saw too many kids working 30 hours a week to pay for their car and insurance.

I totally agree that college or university full-time truly requires majority focus, hrs. and time. I found just working 8-15 hrs. per wk. some school years, just enough for me without dragging my energy around. And I didn't have a car .... Looking back, my parents though they expected us to work at least during summers and supplement with student grants, were VERY generous since we were poor, to ask that if we worked during the school year, it be only weekends.

As for gap years during our working lives...well I guess I had my "gaps" with unemployment looking for work. I do have a work benefit to take a partial paid leave of absence for a restricted period of time. It's nice to have this if life should require that I reset my priorities of personal over work for a short while. WHo knows.... but I know it would not be for taking off and travelling around. No, I don't have the urge to go back to school at this time.

[Crankin]

Going back to school at age 55 was not that hard for me. Of course, as a teacher, I had to take many university courses to advance on the salary schedule after getting my first master's in 1979. So, it wasn't like I hadn't stepped foot in a classroom since then. Of course, this was an option for me, because DH could pay the bills, but I had all kinds of scary warnings from the professors in my department about the "stress" of grad school. Yes, it was stressful, but to a grown up who is used to managing time and workload, it was more business as usual. And, I did not give up my usual activities and friends. I am glad it's done, but, really, it was not that bad. Better than staying home and doing nothing!

[ny biker]

I have no regrets about going straight from high school to college. It was a big enough event to move away and start a new life at college. It would have been overwhelming to start something else, do it for a year or so and then start school.

Also I was excited about going away to college and would not have wanted to delay it for any reason.

[smilingcat]

I'll second GLC. I too am an engineer. Grades matter and your drive and purpose in the engineering field matters very much. If she wants to take a gap year, she BETTER have a focused purpose.

I dropped out of HS and never got a GED or what ever that thing is called. Dropped out in Junior year and went straight to an IVY League school. I was determined and I was very focused on what I want to do in my life. I didn't have second thoughts about it. So I'm bit of an odd duck. Also didn't take any break from BS degree to my Masters and I quit during Phd program. I wasn't interested in becoming a tenure track professor at any university although I was a research staff at my alma mater. Different department though. I have loftier plans than to collect more wall/fly paper (honors degrees etc. My father already did that with his MD, Phd in BioChem... or other members of family uncles aunts cousins...) Only one in my family NOT to have a college degree is my sister. I think she was overwhelmed with all the "fly papers" on the wall.