Achieving Goal = Losing Interest

[Kiwi Stoker]

It was the same for me once I achieved my black belt in karate. It had taken 7 years to get there and about a year after achieveing this (and starting work using weapons etc) I really didn't feel the need to continue. I had achieved what I wanted and even though I could of gone on and gained another dan ranking upwards, I didn't want to.

I actually watched quite a few people not even get to black belt as they felt the level they got to was enough (or was taking too long).

Yeah, the journey was the destination. And sometimes what we think we want turns out not to be in when we get there.

[Anyabeth]

I was thinking of this conversation while watching the Olympics. I wonder if those athletes go through this on a larger scale - particularly if they win. That must be crushing to do something so amazing but then have nothing after?

[Melalvai]

There is nothing WRONG with you and achieving a goal is, in itself, a loss and can cause depression. The first time I achieved a major goal in my life I found myself in the same place you are now. It just so happend that the achievement came after a bout with cancer so I was under doctor's care and I discussed this with him, he is the one who told me that achievement is a loss (we love to strive for things) and when the strive part is over we get depressed over losing that enjoyable part. The journey is often more fun that the destination.

Since I had also just passed through the cancer thing my mind was correlating the achievement with end of life like "gee my life must be over now because I achieved something that I thought would take many many more years." The Dr. pointed out, "well make more goals." Duh. It was so simple and I could not see that. I had been too caught up in getting there. I was in my late twenties then and it took another decade to fully appreciate the journey more than the destination. It was the beginning of learning to live in the here and now and really enjoy living in the present moment.

It is human nature to constantly look forward and we all play this "...I'll be happy when..." game with ourselves. It's a life changing experience when we shift our thinking and focus to this statement, "...I am happy..." When we do that life suddenly becomes richer and fuller. I think you are experiencing that shift in perspective with your statement that you are feeling much better now that you've decided not to race.

There's a lot here to think about, I'm going to be re-reading this for a while. Thank you.