It never is a good time.

I wrote this on another forum back on Apr. 12

Our golden retriever is 14 years old. Really old for the breed. He is sleeping by my feet right now dreaming of sweet dreams. Kicking his feet as if running and chasing a bunny perhaps.

We had a scare on Sunday. Non-responsive mostly, didn't lift his head, couldn't get him to eat nor get him to drink water. By evening, we did manage to get him to drink water. Monday, he was bit more alert, he ate and drank. Having difficulty getting up even when his weight was being taken up in a sling. He just needed to dangle his feet on the ground and having difficulty even with that.

Tuesday and Wednesday, he showed more improvement. This morning, he started to develop a hot spot on his face, a common problem for a purebred golden. Rushed him to the vet to head off a serious hot spots from developing and went over the detail of Sunday through today. Blood test, urine test, and his general being discussed.

Most likely he has cancer of the spleen. The Sunday episode may have been due to "minor" bleeding from the cancer. It's hard to keep information straight so I may have this wrong. Prognosis is pretty poor. At his age, we have no plans on surgery. What is the point.

We are giving him pain meds, topical steroids and anti-biotic for his hot spot on his face. And few other meds.

14 years have come and gone pretty fast. I remember when my partner brought him home. Being potty trained. peeing as he was carried and rushed out of the house to show where to pee. You should have seen his face then. Running underneath the coffee table to play tag with his older brother. All the memorable Christmas, ripping open his presents and toys. To when he helped himself to kitty chow. You should have seen his big big cute grin. So cute I couldn't get mad at him.

Now days, he just sleeps. Gets bit apprehensive when he can't see me. Well he is nearly blind, mostly deaf too. Lately, I have to put my hand in front of his sniffer so he could smell me. And yesterday, I had splash my finger in his water bowl because he didn't know if it had water in it or not. Or maybe he forgot what he was supposed to do.

I'll keep him comfortable and happy for the few days, weeks he has left. Time like this, I'm glad I'm retired.

Dear Madison, you are very special to me. You are the first dog I have known from a 8 or was it 10, 12 week old puppy to your old age. And you for whatever reason, you decided early on that I belong to you. For touching my heart like that, how can I not love you. Your mom loves you very much.

I just want you to be comfortable.
Well, Madison is still with us. We have had 3 major scares since April 12.
He crashed again yesterday. So we made an appointment for
vitamin B12 shot to help him out. And today, the shot seemed to have helped him for few hours. But now, he is just sleeping and sleeping soundly. I don't think he is in pain. He wasn't as excited about his doggie treat tonight though. Maybe he just wants to sleep.

I miss his excitement over his doggie treat. I never thought I would miss this antic but I do. It's all BARK! BARK BARK! until he gets his treat. Tonight, he just lifted his head up just high enough to grab his treat. Crumbs are still on the floor underneath his chin. He looks comfortable in his sleep. At least that is what I think. I hope Madison is dreaming a wonderful dream.

from Diamond Rio

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you