Fear and Loathing on the road to thin and fit

[OakLeaf]

Woohoo! Way to go goldfinch, you seriously rock!

[Grits]

Wow. By sharing your journey you are offering hope to many women who might have given up or never even tried without your example. Thank you.

[emily_in_nc]

Wow! I have goosebumps and tears in my eyes from reading your story, goldfinch. Thank you so much for posting it.

Personally, you have given me hope. This is silly in comparison, but I have been distraught that I've gained 4-5 lbs I can't seem to get rid of since retiring last year at age 50 (same as you). I weighed 103 lbs (give or take a lb.) when we got to Belize last August, and this morning I weighed 108. It doesn't sound like much, but my mom was always tiny (22" waist in her 30s!), and around age 45, she started gaining and never looked back. She's 5'4" and probably weighs about 160, though that is a wild guess as she won't tell me how much she weighs. She's very unhappy about her weight, but resigned, because she's dieted for decades, and nothing works. I think her metabolism is so sluggish that she has to eat almost nothing to lose, but then her body goes into survival mode and won't let her lose anyway. She's got good cholesterol, triglycerides, and BP (so much of that seems to be genetic; I am also perfect in those readings), but no aerobic fitness nor muscle tone. The only exercise she gets is housework and gardening. She loves to read, cook, do artistic projects, and watch TV.

Despite the fact that I have lived a VERY different lifestyle than my mom as an adult, I find myself in extreme fear of turning out just like her. We are car-free here in Belize and bike/walk everywhere. I run -- not long distances, but I do jog/run 3x a week. I do yoga. I don't belong to a gym like I used to (it was free through my work), but do try to do some light lifting a couple of times a week. I don't think I eat more than I did when I was working and living in NC, but sometimes it's hard to make as healthy choices here since selections of groceries are somewhat limited since I live on an island. It's much easier to find fresh fruits than a variety of fresh veggies; and of course, increased fruit means more sugar. We also eat out more because there is lots of socializing that goes on here, and we do more traveling.

I am so scared I'll turn into my mom. I feel like my hormones are working against me, and despite still weighing less than 110, I can tell I have a LOT of body fat around my middle. I started our time here in bikinis, and now I'm wearing tankinis because I've gotten so thick in the middle with way too much jiggle.

Your story gives me hope that just because I am 51 now AND have an obese mother, I am not necessarily fated to the same. I would LOVE to get back down to 103 (my ideal weight). I am not quite sure what it is going to take (I hate to give up fruit!!) to do so, but reading your story, I realize I don't have to resign myself to turn into my mother. I know I spend too much time on the computer despite my bursts of activity, and perhaps that is what I need to change, though it's hard b/c I love the computer, writing our blog, reading other folks' blogs, writing emails, and chatting with friends on Facebook.

But I thank you for giving me back my hope. I was about to lose it.

And many, many congratulations to you for changing your life. You are my hero!

[ClockworkOrange]

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For those of you who might visit here and feel like you can not be athletic and feel fat and unhealthy I share my story in the hope that you can find some inspiration.

Love it, love it, love it, what a brilliant story, you seriously ROCK!

The photo above is amazing.

You sure are an inspiration to others, me included.

[surgtech1956]

goldfinch - fantastic, very inspirational.

[maillotpois]

Wonderful story - thanks for sharing it with us and congratulations on finding yourself.

[never2late]

What an amazing adventure story with the happiest of endings! Thank you for your courage in the telling and the inspiration for others.

[Marquise]

Haven't had much time to read here this week but I skimmed your story the day you posted and knew I had to come back and re-read when I had more time. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!