please no hate mail.

i have a stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid and sad problem.

i have never been able to properly pump my tires. i have been riding for several years. my iq has been determined to be 139. please no "you are too stupid to post in this forum" mail, thanks!!!!

its a road bike. few yrs old. the only pump that has been successful has been my roommates super expensive one. im sorry, i know it sounds weird but i actually cant afford $175 for a bicycle pump. yeah yeah yeah, get off the saddle if you can't afford anything, bla bla bla bla.

i have used various standup pumps. with the pressure gauge on it. yes, i screw that little thing in first. i havent ridden in a long time and basically dont ride anymore because it takes at least 30 mins to pump my tires, and i am always completely covered in sweat afterwards. no, i'm not all fat and out of shape. i am actually dealing with illness and am underweight and need to be healthy. no, i don't have anyone to help me. no one. no family, neighbors or friends. its a nightmare so i am trying to do fun things like ride bikes. i know its' tempting to now want to assume that i deserve to be alone and in pain but i really don't. i really wanted to ride today but i just tried to pump one tire, and my entire body is now covered in sweat and i need to change my clothes. the tire is not safe to ride with because its not pumped up, the other one i havent even gotten to. i know its not this hard for everyone else.

when i pump you can hear the air coming out. i know this isnt supposed to be happening but for the goddamn life of me i have never been able to stop this from happening, and i have spent hours and hours and hours next to my bike with the pump, trying to do it right.

i took it in to a bike shop, i have done this several times. they show me, it makes sense. i try it, do it successfully. they smile, knowing they have taught me well. i smile, thinking i have learned properly. i take the bike home. when i need to pump the tires again, i hook up the pump and hear the whooshing sound of air escaping as i pump, and have the same fateful problem again, and again end up sitting out of breath with beads of sweat coming down my face and body and realizing i won't be going anywhere.

i used to be great, rode at least a couple hrs a day, but dont anymore because i am usually too tired after pumping to go anywhere.

another day ruined by an unbelievably ridiculous problem that i doubt anyone will ever have the patience to help me with. i miss riding. serves me right.