Help with body image

[tulip]

What LBTC says is true! So often our clothes simply don't fit us and we're uncomfortable, and that makes us less confident. But if you get clothes that actually fit, no matter your size, you feel more comfortable and more confident.

I used to enjoy watching What Not To Wear because the hosts focused on what worked for each particular person--not some ideal. And everyone in that show glowed with confidence at the end.

cc-You are strong and beautiful, and very, very funny! Enjoy yourself--I get the idea that Ian does!

[Veronica]

cc-You are strong and beautiful, and very, very funny! Enjoy yourself--I get the idea that Ian does!

I love tulip's advice. Make this your mantra.

Veronica

[Zen]

I used to enjoy watching What Not To Wear because the hosts focused on what worked for each particular person--not some ideal. And everyone in that show glowed with confidence at the end.

I learned a few tricks from that show too

[sgtiger]

(((((((CC)))))))))

CC, you are beautiful in many ways including your bod. You just need to convince your brain to see it that way by changing your self talk from negative to positive. Focus on all the things you like, for example: your eyes that show your humor and intelligence behind them, your warm smile, your strong legs for getting you around, your knees for all the work it does, your core that is getting stronger and makes it possible for you to do what you do, your arms that pull you through the open water, your heart for ceaselessly pumping blood to bring fresh oxygen to where it's needed, etc. It takes time to get out of the habit of focusing on the negative. When you catch yourself doing it, imagine that you're blowing the thought away with your next exhalation. Be thankful that you and your body are healthy and strong. Remember too you've been through a lot and your body may still be recovering.

Other exercises:

1) Every morning right after you get out of bed look into your own eyes in a mirror and repeat daily 10X for a week - I am beautiful. Try to do it with sincerity. Don't roll your eyes or think "yeah right" while you're doing it. With a wipe board marker write This is Real Beauty on your bathroom mirror as a reminder.

2) With Ian, let him him tell you non-verbally how beautiful he thinks you are. I've seen the gleam he has when he's with you, so if his words don't convince you then let his eyes do the talking. Stand or sit eye to eye without saying word. He will show you how much he loves you and lusts after you. Next time try it naked with the lights dimmed. Candle light and moonlight work great. After that it's all up to the two of you.

[cylegoddess]

for everyone who has worried she was fat;
I used to be rail thin, Too thin. I looked like fashion models aspire to be. I lifted weights, I ran for three hours a day- for pleasure. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and went dancing until 6 in the morning, on days off. I was invincible. I thought all it mattered was to be skinny.
Then, one day I got sick. Then sicker , then my immune system started to break down. The toxic waste near where I live might have been the cause.
For years, I got worse, chronic fatigue , mysterious viruses, near collapse, and no sympathy from family and friends - no one knew why. I still had to work too.
I took up riding. I was pretty weak and pathetically thin from being sick, rather than the strong lean woman I was,so I couldnt ride much farther than around the block.. I could barely run down the street to catch the bus.
I started to train at the gym in cycling class. I watched Lance Armstrong videos.
Then I gained weight.Not much but some. More than I had been for years, so I felt fat but as I get better, I realize nothing matters but your health.
I look at my body and I feel happy that its working, that its strong most days and that I can now ride 28 km after a year of training.
I also feel even smaller, when I stand next to guy cyclists and their big, strong thighs. I dont see many women here but I rejoice in each one I see, because they looks strong too. Im pretty tiny, so Im all thighs and bottom and not much else, so it makes me look funny but every day I look to see if my legs , have hopefully gotten larger!

Id trade anything to be fully well ,even supposedly beong the 'ideal'dress size!!

I know now - rejoice in your body! love it, enjoy its strength and grace and sleek curves.
Be strong, be beautiful and enjoy your ride!

[shootingstar]

Perhaps cycling goddess you might want to tell us more about yourself in General Discussion-Cycling issues.

meaning the type of bike, how long you have been cycling, etc.

[cylegoddess]

love to!

[Trekhawk]

love to!

Hey cyclegoddess lots of good advice for us all in your post.
Where are you in Aust?

[RoadRaven]

I don't hate my body, I just want something different & it's taking forever to get there. It's getting in the way of our time spent in the bedroom

Have you been there?

Hey there CC... yup, I have/am there...

For the first time in years, I am happy with my body - cycling has given me this - these last 3 years or so have seen me appreciate my fitness, regardless of how my body appears. I am fit... I am strong... I could thrash most of the women my age I know in terms of power output or aerobic endurance. I could out-walk them. I could out-bike them. I could (can) run up three flights of stairs and have caught my breath by the time they get there. If we measured our fat/muscle ratios, I would almost certainly out-muscle them.

But the changes I expected to see... the changes that women here post about - muscle definition... weight loss... where are these changes???????

I have lost 15kg since I started cycling, but to get back to a healthy size I am still about 15kg or 1 1/2 jean sizes away.

So, nope, they aint happening for me either. I don't expect to be svelte like I was when I was 17... but it would be nice to lose my tummy... for my thighs to be a little less chunky.

And yes, these un-changes to get in the way in the bedroom.They affect the way I feel sometimes, and make me feel awkward or clumsy, and sometimes unattractive, though I never get a hint of that from my partner.

So yes, my friend, CC, I have been there... I still am.

[BikingNurse]

+1 to what OakLeaf said

Also, I know I saw it here somewhere but I can't find it right now. This one phrase has helped me. I am paraphrasing ........ how can you hate a body that can take you places? How can you hate legs that get you up that hill? You are a strong woman. Your free time isn't consumed with TV and a bag of chips.
(I'm a mom x's 3) I definately have things that I want to change. But one thing that keeps me motivated is to look and feel my legs. I've only been cycling a short time, but they are changing and getting hot! Just keep in mind that you are a strong woman with a strong body. You can go places that many women break a sweat just thinking about.
I think we are all pretty awsome just because of that.
I'd like to hear how it's goin now. I know it's been a while since you posted this thread.

[redrhodie]

CC, it's been a while since you started this thread. What advice would you now give someone with the same problem?

I have a friend who hates her body. I'm like, yeah, I feel so sorry for you, being shaped like an hourglass must really suck. In all sincerity, her self esteem has prevented her from really enjoying her life. It's such a shame. I think she's a true beauty, but she doesn't agree. Is there anything I can do to help, or does it really just have to be from within?

[crazycanuck]

umm..i've not thought about this for quite a while..I didn't expect someone to dig up the post

I'm too interested in my uni studies & training for the 12hr.

[tulip]

CC, it's been a while since you started this thread. What advice would you now give someone with the same problem?

I have a friend who hates her body. I'm like, yeah, I feel so sorry for you, being shaped like an hourglass must really suck. In all sincerity, her self esteem has prevented her from really enjoying her life. It's such a shame. I think she's a true beauty, but she doesn't agree. Is there anything I can do to help, or does it really just have to be from within?

from my experience, I would suggest that your friend might benefit from some counseling. It helped me alot.

[redrhodie]

from my experience, I would suggest that your friend might benefit from some counseling. It helped me alot.

Thanks, Tulip. I've suggested therapy before, and she's adamantly opposed to the idea, but I'm sure she'd really benefit from it. I'll bring it up again.

[tulip]

Thanks, Tulip. I've suggested therapy before, and she's adamantly opposed to the idea, but I'm sure she'd really benefit from it. I'll bring it up again.

Well, you can't make her go. It's up to her, when and if she's ready. In my book, being adamantly opposed to it is a red flag for really needing it. That's how I was!