Mental Depression preventing me cycling

[kajero]

Went to the doc on Tuesday and she adjusted the meds. I also made an appointment the pscyh

But this is strange. I am not a religious person whatsoever. I have a lot of friends at the gym I belong to. Even as down as feel, I made it to an aerobics class one day, but I couldn't finish the class. I went to the locker room and just sat there. One of my friends from the class came back and in jest pointed her finger at me because I didn't finish the class and I started crying. She asked what was wrong, I told her and then asked if she could pray for me. So she gave me a big hug and we started praying. It didn't seem to matter that we are different religions, she Catholic and me another. Anyway, things started to turn around since then. But, like I mentioned, I am not a very religious person. So, is this coincidental?

I had conference with my boss and a lot of stuff was aired. I worked very hard on providing documentation (times, places, examples, etc.) that he could not refute -- there were witnesses and people who helped me. Perhaps my friend who prayed form had something to do with, because but until then I couldn't seem to get my thoughts down on paper and dreaded the conference. Ever tying is now down on paper and in my files. I don't feel sorry for my boss that he made all the mistakes he did and if he continues to hold them over my head, human resources has documentation of his false assumptions.

Some of my family issues also seem to have dealt with, not the most effectively, but relatives are looking at situations in a different light.

It’s a beautiful day outside but we have other obligations so I can get on the bike. But for once if I could, I think I am looking forward to it.

[pardes]

Well, there is the saying, "there are no coincidences."

It could be that coincidences are always there just waiting for us to claim them. And, it would seem that if they are continually ignored and go continually unclaimed, maybe they go visit someone else who will be more responsive.

To categorically say that anything is definitely anything complicates everything since then we would always be trying to find the "real" answer to everything and who can pay attention to anything if the gears are always turning in an analytical, prove-it way?

I don't know the mechanisms of the validity or efficacy of prayer or wishes or dreams, I only know that if one relaxes into the moment, the universe reveals itself. Giving thanks in your own personal way and returning the favor in your own personal way is the only response that the universe hopes for.

I'm so glad you had several affirming encounters. I am typing this calmly but my heart is singing with glee for you.

Oh, and by the way, (should anyone want to join me,) I'll be "biking with Kajero in spirit" as soon as I get off the computer and pull on my jacket. You may not be "joining" me this time or the next, but I'll be thinking about you and will save a place for you for next time, or the next....

[shootingstar]

Any chance, kajero of applying for other jobs? Hope you do. You have lots to offer elsewhere.

There have been some incredible coincidences that have occurred which occurred when not totally expected at key times in life. Usually during times when I was facing the unknown.

May you ride in the unknown, but comforted that you are already cared for and loved.

[kajero]

I am going to try to ride tomorrow. This not trying is getting me nowhere except making me feel guilty that I bought an expensive bike that I don’t use anymore. Is there a way when riding your bicycle to forget about one’s problems? Although listening to my MP3 player may work, I refuse to because I don’t think it is safe. Even when I look at the gorgeous fall colors, my mind always returns to that "bad" place. Except for knowing what I need to for safe riding, I wish I could get my mind to go “blank."

I didn’t proofread my last post very well. I meant to say that my friend asked if SHE could pray for me. I figured nothing else was working so why not? She embraced me while she prayed out loud. Having someone like her hug me was very uplifting; she is a beautiful person. Even though we take the class together and use lockers next to each other, we don’t even know each other’s name. I think I need to work on that.

I really love my job; I dislike my manager. My manager has horrible managerial skills. Whether deliberate or not, my manager creates friction among team members rather than comradeship. My manager has the worst communication skills and the best bias skills in the whole world. My manager only sees what my manager wants to see; it’s as if my manager wears blinders. (I apologize for so many “my manager” but I am afraid of what can be extracted from the Internet these days.)

[shootingstar]

I am going to try to ride tomorrow. This not trying is getting me nowhere except making me feel guilty that I bought an expensive bike that I don’t use anymore. Is there a way when riding your bicycle to forget about one’s problems? Although listening to my MP3 player may work, I refuse to because I don’t think it is safe. Even when I look at the gorgeous fall colors, my mind always returns to that "bad" place. Except for knowing what I need to for safe riding, I wish I could get my mind to go “blank."

perhaps one approach ..is that cycling doesn't require any analysis by the rider. Well, some people find cycling a great time for thinking out problems. For myself, cycling is highly sensory...to visually see, smell, hear and move. So that's where I put my brain...more on the right side.

YOu wanna a challenge on cycling haiku after your ride tomorrow?

[Grog]

When I take my heart rate above a certain threshold (80% of my max?) I just can't think anymore. Good or bad things: can't think about them at all. Climbing hills works fine. It takes more willpower to do intervals (or tempo runs).

Big hug - keeping you in my thoughts.