Living in Egypt , near denial... or I'm ready to quit

[shootingstar]

I have a very difficult class this year.

The three English Language Learners...

..................................

Oh... and these are kids in the 'burbs, not inner city children.

Veronica

May I ask, are the ESL students main learning difficulties primarily ESL or is it combined with acculturation / adaptation issues that result in spin-off difficult behaviours in the classroom?

ah.....I was an ESL student from kindergarten to gr. 2.
An interesting (but not uncommon) story about 2 children of a cousin of mine. They immigrated from mainland China when they were each 6 & 8 years old with their parents. The family lived with me for the lst 4 months when I was attending university. During the lst 2 wks., the children were wild at home, nearly destructive. They were totally unfamiliar with their surroundings. They were raised in rural China and 'day-care' consisted of throwing the children all in a fenced area with very few toys or play equipment...near the commune.

The 8 yr. old boy was place 2 grades LOWER than his normal grade level. So was his brother.

Happy to report that the 8 yr. old boy is a university engineering graduate who became a middle manager at a major telecommunications firm, happily married with 1 daughter.

His brother also completed university.


Their parents made their boys study hard...after school.

I hope you already have had some positive cases/"graduates" given the fact you've been doing this difficult teaching for a number of years! Sad that in some cases, it does also require parent(s) to change their parenting style and spend more time with a child but when not much happens in that area so pressure is on teachers to cope. Good you pointed out the kids are from the 'burbs'. It's annoying when people talk about 'inner city" schools in a sort of prejorative way...when some of the kids just turn out fine/great.

[Biciclista]

good points, Shootingstar.
Neither of my sons ever completed the "timed addition tests"
that the teachers were constantly giving them. Instead they were chewing their crayons or annoying other children. All of my sons' teachers knew us personally, and i was always acquainted with the principals and vice principals of each school. More than once my sons were punished by not allowing them to partake in recess; the one thing they looked forward all day, many days during their elementary education.
Much later, both of my sons loved calculus and one of them is now a grad student studying pure math. I feel sorry for teachers who have to teach a curriculum that bores children to tears.

[Crankin]

Veronica, I have been there. I am not sure what to say. I know it seems like you don't have the support from other adults in your building who should be helping you. But, it seems like this is the way life is now a days. I mean, if you take any class of 20 kids, you are going to have at least 5 on IEPs, 2-3 with ADD, a couple of really gifted kids, and at least one, maybe two or three really bad behavior issues. Oh, and then there are the kids with dysfunctional home situations. I also taught in the suburbs, with a number of kids with ELL issues, too.
What I am saying is that there is no "normal" anymore.
I would have definitely had a conference with the mother of the kid with the "Christian values," and had the school counselor or principal with me as I showed her the cootie catcher. Yes, there are some parents who just don't believe what their kids are doing. I once had a parent tell me she was going to pray for me so I would be able to deal with her kid!
And this stuff is everywhere. I remember when we moved to Boxborough about 12 years ago; we had been living in more of a blue collar town, where the schools were just OK. We saved and scrimped so our kids could live in an outstanding school district. After the first day of school, my older son who was in 7th grade came home and said,"They came from the mental institution and took someone away, out of my math class." The kid had tried to set his house on fire with his parents inside! The next day there was a drug bust in the cafeteria.
I am glad that I am not teaching anymore. I was not burned out, but I was tired. And this was in a school district with excellent support and the most professional people I have ever worked with. Whoever said it was parenting skills was mostly correct. I can't believe the amount of teaching I had to do with parents; like telling them it was OK to take away the video games and the Internet.

[Mr. Bloom]

V,

I seem to recall from prior posts that either your school or your teaching engagement is in a situation that has a disproportionate ratio of difficult or at risk kids...but even if I'm wrong about that, all I can say is that I'm glad that you care despite these challenges. I only want to affirm you and others like you and encourage you to continue doing a great job.

Teaching gives you broad access to the worst that humanity has to offer, but you are a catalyst for good

[Veronica]

Funny, I don't punish kids for chewing on their own crayons, or for not knowing material. In fact I don't think I've taken recess away from anyone yet this year. Last year I had to take recess away from a kid because he would not stop calling the girls nasty names and stirring up other trouble. He lost his recess permanently and worked with a first grade class as a helper during his recesses.

I do punish kids for deliberately annoying other children and for destroying other people's property.

It's always interesting to hear people's anecdotes about one or two children - usually their own. Bear in mind that I have around 30 children in my classroom and I have worked with over 500 different 10 year olds in my teaching career. I have had ADD types of all sorts. Not every kid with ADD is exactly the same.

Veronica

[OakLeaf]

+1. Well said, Mr. S. I honestly believe that elementary school teacher is the most important job in the world. This isn't the first time I've said that. Yours, V., is the job on which everything else depends.

As a last resort, can you maybe look for work at a private school? I know it's a cop-out in a way, but it would let you enjoy the best of your work, still do really important work, and avoid the worst of it. My mom's a fourth-grade teacher, has been since 1972 (since '74 at the private school) and she just ADORES her work. I used to say they'd have to pry her cold dead body out of the classroom, except that now she says she wants to be a classroom skeleton after she's gone

[Veronica]

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.


Veronica

[Tuckervill]

Holy cow. I'd be showing that cootie-catcher to his parents, too.

Karen

[snapdragen]

Holy cow. I'd be showing that cootie-catcher to his parents, too.

Karen

I wonder if the parents bought Grand Theft Auto for him?

[Irulan]

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.


Veronica

OMG.
This is so typical the lack of accountability, blame it on someone else, not-my-fault attitude that is scarily prevalent today. I do blame the parents - and I am one too.

[maillotpois]

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.


Veronica

That's like the "Twinkie defense". Lack of accountability makes me CRAZY.

Good you brought it to the principal. The good Christian parents need to be shown that as well. And I bet they did buy him that video game. Or certainly they know he has it, but they probably haven't taken the time to sit down with him while he's playing and realize how appalling it is. They probably just let him go off and play it unsupervised, grateful for the cheap babysitting so they can do laundry or cook dinner or whatever. Or pray.

[Mr. Bloom]

His mother called me and left a voice mail, very upset with me for upsetting her son about his future. Of course he didn't tell her how he'd been wasting his time all morning. In her tirade she says that they are a Christian family and she is trying to instill Christian values in her son.

I don't expect a kid to have all this figured out, but I would let the mom know that she had expressed to you what their values were, you found this cootie catcher that seemed inconsistent with that value system, and you thought that she would want to know. No judgement, just information.

We all tend to see only the best in our kids and tend to be blind to their shortcomings. Information and communication is the key to helping this parent be a better parent.