Hi everyone I am new here

[OakLeaf]

+1 to what everyone else has said. Believe in yourself! The pace you ride is the pace you ride, it's not "good" or "bad." Sending you confidence-building thoughts and hoping that soon you either find someone supportive to ride with, or find great joy in riding solo.

Another confidence builder will be for you to learn to fix a flat tire. Those sealant/inflater cans leave a gooey mess - a waste of a perfectly repairable tube. Plus, it's a lot to carry, and one use only. Fixing a flat is easy once you learn how.

[NbyNW]

Sorry to hear that relationship dynamics have hurt your enjoyment of cycling.

Maybe you could start a cycling club in your area? Finding others who you can learn with/from might be helpful.

[bmccasland]

Furryduck - any chance of organized rides? As much as I'd like to keep up with the fast boys, I can't, but I have made riding friends on organized rides - that have my pace for the most part. All of us have good days and bad days, but we also have our pretty standard happy pace that we'll naturally fall into. There's pushing yourself to go a bit faster, and then there's killing yourself. I find chasing someone in a pace line makes me train harder than if I ride solo. I just don't have the personal drive to push hard solo for any great distance.

The reality is that riders have their own natural pace, which can be improved, especially if you haven't been riding for a while. But, I'll never be able to ride as fast as some riders, and I can live with that. If you pace and your partner's pace is significantly different, then riding separate is probably for the best.

You want to have fun riding, if it stops being fun, then it's hard to go back out there.

[uk elephant]

Hi FurryDuck!
Where in England are you? I live in Essex, near Colchester. If you are anywhere within reach of me, I'd be happy to join you for a ride or two. And I'm veeeery slow! I ride alone most of the time, but am always happy for a bit of company on occasion although I do love the time to myself too. Very good for contemplation. I've been interested in perhaps doing some of the sportives too, but haven't had time to prepare for any this year......which one were you planning on?

As for doing the sportive by yourself, I'm sure you wouldn't be alone. I a charity ride here in Essex last summer (40 miles) and was never alone although I didn't know anyone before turning up. There will be other riding a similar pace and people are generally friendly.

[furryduck]

Well a big thank you to all your very good advice the conclusion being i took a ride all on my own
I was frightened and nervous, took a canister of repair puncture in case i got flat still not found out how to mend a puncture
Thought i would go for just around 4 or 5 miles as then if disaster struck i would be able to walk home with bike. Well i got well and truly lost and ended up cycling 16 miles all on my lonesome And guess what, i really enjoyed it apart from getting lost of course. My speed improved and the hills didnt seem so bad, i didnt have the s/o behind me yelling at me go faster change gear you will never make it up that hill. it was great.
The next thing is to learn how to repair puncture and be able to put chain back on.
The only thing now is i have hurt myself and have an appt with my dr tomorrow to see what damage i might have done or how much exercise i can do until it heals. Will keep you all up to speed on that.
Furry duck

[Trigress]

Hiya

When's this sportive, then? I'm only up here in Norway and it'd be fun to visit England again...

Seriously. My hubby is a long-distance Ironman competitor with 23 years of road cycling experience and a body specially designed for endurance stuff. Me? Tiny sprinter with a dedicated lack of discipline and a certain love of tormenting myself. He doesn't want to ride with me, and I have to admit that I understand him. So eventually, last weekend in fact, I decided to join a cycling club, so that I can have cycling as my own thing as well as a thing I started with after we started going out. Maybe that's an idea for you too? Most cycling clubs should have groups for all levels, and then you both could join, but ride in different groups?

[furryduck]

The sportive is in two weeks time, but unsure if i will be able to enter now as i have an injury will no more tomorrow after i have seen the doc.
Thanks for the reply though all replies are helping me so much and giving me so much encouragement it is great.
i dunno what is the problem with the male species, i think sometimes they might be a little scared we will go faster than them
Furry Duck

[OakLeaf]

Glad you enjoyed the ride! But did you get your injury on the ride???

Hope you feel better soon!

[furryduck]

Hi oakleaf,
The injury started as a twinge last week when i was trying to save myself from falling off my bike. Then i tried to push something along that was way too heavy for me, hense i had a sensation of something ripping and the pain was intense. Doc says cant tell for sure but seems i must have torn a muscle. Told me to keep moving it but no putting pressure on shoulder as in drop handle bars for a few days then give it a try see what happens, also advised massage, an anti-inflammatory cream applied to the area and stretching, no uper body weights for the time being.
So watch this space i guess
furry duck