Snapping Gum

[michelem]

It appears as though she is not going to change, so you are going to have to change instead. Sucks, huh? How about ear plugs or noise-cancelling headphones? I'd certainly see about having my company purchase or reimburse me for these items, as they are necessary for you to be able to perform your job.

Maybe something like this (one of my co-workers at my previous office used these and loved them)? http://www.bose.com/controller?event...noisy.jsp&ck=0

Oh, look, they even have designer earplugs (tee hee!): http://earplugs.ecrater.com/

Good luck to you. I feel for you.

[mimitabby]

I probably chew gum too loudly but i don't do it at work. I usually do it in the car alone because DH doesn't like it either.

signed
loud gum chewers anonymous member.

ps when i was a teenager, my stepmother could POP her gum astonishingly loud. And I could never learn to do it.

[Starfish]

I am personally not a fan of the humor method...I would much rather have someone be direct with me. I don't equate communication with confrontation.

But, if there is a lot of drama there, and people tend to have the low self images that often go with that, what about a little self-deprecating remark to help diffuse her defensiveness?

"You know, I realize I might be a little anal to be this bothered by your gum...but for whatever reason, I am, and I would be really grateful if you would chew just a little more quietly, as a favor to me?"

I happen to have extremely sensitive hearing, and I am anal enough that I let stuff get to me. So, I have both an iPod and a "natural sounds" machine in my office. If I just reset my mental focus, and then listen to something I like, normally the sounds of others recede (out of my zone-of-irritation, if not actually out of my earshot).

Good luck!!

[michelem]

Lisa S.H. -

Want to hear something even worse? When riding BART back from the US Half Marathon, a woman wearing an "I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute of It" t-shirt and her boyfriend/husband/whatever got on the train. They sat down across the aisle from us, and suddenly I began to hear this DISGUSTING slurping noise. I made the mistake of looking over at them - he was SUCKING ON HER TOES!!! GAG!!!

SO GROSS!!!

[northstar]

Lisa S.H. -

Want to hear something even worse? When riding BART back from the US Half Marathon, a woman wearing an "I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute of It" t-shirt and her boyfriend/husband/whatever got on the train. They sat down across the aisle from us, and suddenly I began to hear this DISGUSTING slurping noise. I made the mistake of looking over at them - he was SUCKING ON HER TOES!!! GAG!!!

SO GROSS!!!

(gagging while reading this...)

[li10up]

I guess the thing is I don't feel like I should have to change my behavior; I'm not the one being rude. I have to answer the phone frequently so I don't want to have to mess with earphones. I'm the type that can't even play the radio quietly in my own office - it distracts me. The white noise thing might work but then everyone who comes into my office will think me crazy. I could close the door but that seems rude to me, and stuffy, and I don't have any windows in my office - plus I just don't want to have to close my door. I also don't want my staff to feel like I'm shutting them out.

It just blows my mind that when politely asked to quit something that society in general deems rude, the person just doesn't care and will not stop...their wants over the rest of others. A woman in her mid 40s with no manners.

This is the workplace for Pete's sake - all I'm asking for is a little common courtesy. I don't want to do anything rude to make a point or try to annoy her - that would just be stooping to her level. Uggggh.

What do you think about sending an IM to her AND the boss asking her to quit? Or is that just asking for trouble and putting the boss in a bad spot?

[mimitabby]

I think you will then be seen as over reacting. Better to talk to the boss, I think than the double email method. That way, the boss can give you insight and feedback on how to deal with her.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Mimi's right. Plus- he's the BOSS, right? Doesn't that mean he is supposed to handle tricky situations and employee relations as part of his job?? He gets paid to keep things running smoothly and efficiently in the work place. You've already done your part by asking her/them politely to stop, which both gum snapping women seem to have completely ignored. Let the gum snappers now have to tell the BOSS that they'll just keep doing as they please.

[Dianyla]

They sat down across the aisle from us, and suddenly I began to hear this DISGUSTING slurping noise. I made the mistake of looking over at them - he was SUCKING ON HER TOES!!! GAG!!!

SO GROSS!!!

Oh, yeah... I believe that's called shrimping.

*shrug* Whatever floats their shrimpboats, I guess.

[li10up]

Mimi's right. Plus- he's the BOSS, right? Doesn't that mean he is supposed to handle tricky situations and employee relations as part of his job?? He gets paid to keep things running smoothly and efficiently in the work place. You've already done your part by asking her/them politely to stop, which both gum snapping women seem to have completely ignored. Let the gum snappers now have to tell the BOSS that they'll just keep doing as they please.

He and I have talked about it. His office is right next to hers. He says it annoys him but yet HE hasn't said anything and I doubt he will. I'm at the other end of the hall and it's loud...but it's really loud in his office. I've told him it is driving me nuts but he hasn't taken the hint and said anything. I can't ask him to say something be cause it sounds so petty...but it truly is driving me nuts!

[mimitabby]

well, here's another perspective. you've given that cow incredible power over YOUR wellbeing. I realize that because you can't control it, it bugs you more, but really, is it so worse than the sound of 20 starlings eating the figs out of my fig tree? (That drives ME nuts)

If she really was a cow, making cow noises, would it really bother you?

[Kitsune06]

funny you should ask, Mimi. A while ago, back in Eugene, I was on the bus and not feeling so great with a gum snapping chick behind me. There was no one else around, so I let loose with a (pretty good for me) belch. She looks at me with just awful disgust (obviously feeling as violated as I had). I said "Well, if there was going to be chewing, I figured we might as well hear something like a cow belching up cud, too."

The ex was mortified, but he still admired the chutzpa it took to do that. ahhh... gum chawing.

edit:
Toe. Sucking. On. BART. *hupcaughhccchhhhGGHHHHHCCCH*

When you're out of the shower and all, it's a total delight, but... ON. THE. BART.


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

"See, kids? That's how you get hoof and mouth disease!"

[teigyr]

Oh, yeah... I believe that's called shrimping.

*shrug* Whatever floats their shrimpboats, I guess.

There's a NAME for it???

Interesting. That's relatively icky too.

Re the gum thing, I think you probably can't change her behavior and therefore you have to modify your feelings. You can't be going crazy over it. White noise is definitely an option.

Of course the childish part of me would want to record her and then loudly play it sometime when she isn't paying attention. Maybe she doesn't realize how annoying it is?

[Starfish]

Just to weigh in...I really don't understand characterizing either gum snapping (however annoying) or toe sucking (despite that I probably wouldn't do it in public), as actually gross or disgusting.

I mean, someone chewing gum...I just can't muster up disgust over that (even if I might find the noise annoying). And, if the toes were relatively clean-ish, I mean, who cares?

But then, when I'm at the gym and practicing my breathing control techniques and really using my diaphragm to expel air, I suppose there is someone in the gym who finds my breathing to be disgusting ...I have read threads about that topic here on TE.

We sure are all different.

[li10up]

well, here's another perspective. you've given that cow incredible power over YOUR wellbeing. I realize that because you can't control it, it bugs you more, but really, is it so worse than the sound of 20 starlings eating the figs out of my fig tree? (That drives ME nuts)

If she really was a cow, making cow noises, would it really bother you?

In polite cow society making cow noises while chewing is perfectly socially acceptable behavior. I doubt there was ever a mama cow who instructed her offspring to chew their cud quietly. In other words, I think humans should treat one another with a bit more respect than the animal kingdom in general. If she really was a cow making cow noises I would grab her by the halter and lead her outside where she could make all the cow noises she wants.

We do, or at least we did at some point, have something called manners. She is of my generation so our values should be similar I would think.

I've come to the conclusion that I've made my objections known and if she chooses to continue then her actions are telling about her as a person.