Small problems but at my wits end

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

....These others are just miserable and because of such, want to make everyone else around them the same way.
... I know it's hard, but just count to 10 and think to yourself how happy it makes you that you are not such a miserable person as they are.

Similarly, I try to think just one thought- how happy I am that I am not them. That I don't have to live inside their mean selfish brains 24 hours a day and live their miserable little lives BEING them. When I think about that enough, it helps me to distance myself from them. They WANT you to be upset with them! Don't give them what they want. Feel sorry for them instead. Don't confront them in anger or with sarcasm. Best not to confront them at all. Play it straight, polite, and calm and you'll never regret your actions later.
I know, easier said than done. But I do try to turn my mind around that way if I can, simply because i know it will make ME feel better.

[mimitabby]

I can see it now:

House for sale $350,000

If you have 1 son who drums, $300,000

If you have 2 or more sons who are enthusiastic drummers, $240,000

home visit required for approval

[Duck on Wheels]

Theav wrote "Although it was surreal to have her supervisor ask me how she should approach the topic with the student"

Yep, this is a widespread weakness among academics. Many of us go into science thinking we'll be able to work quietly and peacefully all by ourselves, so we don't really work on our management skills. Avoidance and denial are high on our strategy lists. But when push comes to shove, most of us are nice people and we do try to weed out the sociopaths ... eventually. Let's hope your respective supervisors work this out.

Otherwise, I liked the shaming suggestions. And I liked your idea about getting the dead tree and wisteria (and the soil around them) tested first. Best not to jump to conclusions. If they have been poisoned, I think you should go back to the police. They might be able to get a search warrant and find the poison on his property, in which case they might be able to at least fine him for property damage. If all else fails, then you it might make you feel better initially to put up a public warning sign, but that would be escalation and he might bump up his attacks as well. Oh dear. Where is that wrath-of-G'd lightening bolt when we need it?

If other's worries are any comfort, we seem to have an arsonist in our neighborhood now. Two fires last night -- one in a dumpster next door and one in a garage another 3 houses up. Scary! We have a whole cord of winter firewood stacked in our carport!

[mimitabby]

If other's worries are any comfort, we seem to have an arson in our neighborhood now. Two fires last night -- one in a dumpster next door and one in a garage another 3 houses up. Scary! We have a whole cord of winter firewood stacked in our carport!

no, not a comfort at all! I always imagined Norway as being so much more civilized than here!
i hope your wood is good and wet so they can't burn it!

[Tuckervill]

Doc, next time an angry parent gets upset about playing time (or anything!), offer them the team. They always back down when we do that. "Well, you know, I'm planning on going on vacation next week, and I would love it if you could step in while I'm gone!"

Remember that you are a VOLUNTEER and you don't have to do this and you will only do it for your own reasons and with your own methods and not with theirs. I take comfort in the fact that I can always quit. I can walk away just like they do every time they drop off their little darling without having fed her before practice.

Of course, I never will, but it helps me to know that I can.

Thanks for being a coach. As a person who helps a few overworked guys run a Cal Ripken baseball league for 400 kids, I am grateful for people like you.

Karen

[doc]

Doc, next time an angry parent gets upset about playing time (or anything!), offer them the team. They always back down when we do that. "Well, you know, I'm planning on going on vacation next week, and I would love it if you could step in while I'm gone!"

Remember that you are a VOLUNTEER and you don't have to do this and you will only do it for your own reasons and with your own methods and not with theirs. I take comfort in the fact that I can always quit. I can walk away just like they do every time they drop off their little darling without having fed her before practice.

Of course, I never will, but it helps me to know that I can.

Thanks for being a coach. As a person who helps a few overworked guys run a Cal Ripken baseball league for 400 kids, I am grateful for people like you.

Karen

Thanks That's all it takes to make a person feel good all day!

[Thistle]

I can see it now:

House for sale $350,000

If you have 1 son who drums, $300,000

If you have 2 or more sons who are enthusiastic drummers, $240,000

home visit required for approval

DH thought this was wonderful Suggested we could supply enough drum kits for the number of children who will be living in the house as part of the sale agreement