What did we do?? :-(

[solobiker]

Well as some of you remember, my DH and I moved back "home" to upstate NY after living in CO for 10 years. We thought we wanted to be closer to family, get back on the water and get away from the heat. We have been back for about 4 months and it is still a struggle trying to get used to being back. We both found jobs, but my DH does not like his very much and he is worried about job security. He keeps comparing it to the job he left which is hard not to do. My job is fine for the most part. Sometimes I just wish I couuld turn the clock back. I haven't been so depressed in a long time. We talk about possibly just moving back, but that costs so much and I dont know if that would be the right thing to do. It was getting too hot out there for us and crowded too. Well thanks for the ears, just needed to get that off my shoulder as we don't have too many people to talk to about this.

[DDH]

I'm so sorry, I wish I could help. It is not fun being in a job you don't like. Maybe you both should talk about it and give it like 6 more months or something and see how it goes from there. In the meantime, put as much money (if you have any extra) aside to save up to move back if that is what you decide you need to do.

It's hard getting adjusted when you move. Your out of your comfort zone. You have to make new friends, learn new jobs. Basically your life probably feels topsey turvey. That can be very stressful.
Give it some time, you may settle down with time.

[velogirl]

Where in upstate are you? I grew up in Elmira, undergrad in Ithaca, lived in Schenectady for a while, and MBA and work in Syracuse.

[chickwhorips]

the same thing happened with my parents. they were bound and determined to move to phoenix, which they did, after 5 years to the day they moved back to wisconsin. they are still in wisconsin, but not 6 months later they were both asking what had they done. its been 3 years since they moved back and built a beautiful new house.

try to stick it out for a bit longer, but if you feel its for the best to move back then go. it is expensive to move, unless you can find a job that will pay for moving costs. any chance in that?

[CyclChyk]

I learned a couple things from moving from GA (homebase) to NH and back to GA again. Moving that far from what you know is hard. Even tho you are moving back to where you used to live, things change. People change. Your thought process changes. So its different the second time around. And theres the adjustment of your expectations not being met, so it becomes like moving someplace totally new all over again. Often I wanted to move back to where I had left because it was familiar and comfortable. And once you have it in your head that you are dissatisfied with where you are it just makes it that much harder to accept. Its like the whole theory of the glass being half empty or half full. You kinda fixate on the half empty.

Once I accepted that I was stuck *where ever* and started looking for the positive instead of the negative, my attitude changed my mood. And I became happy again.

I know it sounds all hoekee but it really is a state of mind. It doesn't happen overnite. And I'm willing to bet CO wasn't all peaches and cream the first little while??

Just my 2cents, FWIW. And for the record, I would move back to NH in a heartbeat. I so dislike GA, but I am happy, and I am content. So it makes the rest kinda fade away.

[chickwhorips]

try living in alaska for a couple of years and then going back home. competely different! i'm going down to phoenix next month and its really going to be different! life is much faster there then wisconsin.

[Kitsune06]

I always have a hard time moving. I move, and hate it there for a good year- then it starts feeling like 'home' again. My first year in Oregon (vs. Wisconsin) I literally cried when it got cold and rained, because it would never snow. Oh, and I have seasonal depression. (Oregonians, you know how often it rains.)
Then I moved up to Portland Metro from Eugene. Hated it. Tolerated the lack of snow (went biking in the snow for my birthday!) but life was busier, bike trails were fewer, and life was different. I visited home (Wisconsin) and hated it- everything was different, people were so judgmental (red-state chunks of WI) and everything was sooooo sloooooow. I go back to Eugene and still pine for it, but maybe someday that will change... but every time I mention it to someone who 'went to college there once' or 'lived a summer there once' they always reminisce about it so happily... *sigh*

[Trekhawk]

Once I accepted that I was stuck *where ever* and started looking for the positive instead of the negative, my attitude changed my mood. And I became happy again.

I know it sounds all hoekee but it really is a state of mind. It doesn't happen overnite. And I'm willing to bet CO wasn't all peaches and cream the first little while??

Just my 2cents, FWIW. And for the record, I would move back to NH in a heartbeat. I so dislike GA, but I am happy, and I am content. So it makes the rest kinda fade away.

Great advice CyclChyk and trust me I know. I have lived in six different places in the last ten years. Each time we move with my husbands job I suffer from the old OH MY GOD THIS PLACE SUCKS and lots of that is because its just different and the fact that I dont know anyone to start with doesnt help. Now I know that I will experience that feeling each time we move Im ready for it. It can sometimes take a good year or two before you start feeling comfortable in a place and start to make good friends. Give yourself a bit of time and really try hard to look at all the positives about your new place like CyclChyk said.

Trek-not looking forward to her next move-hawk

[Thistle]

[QUOTE=Trekhawk;134770Each time we move with my husbands job I suffer from the old OH MY GOD THIS PLACE SUCKS and lots of that is because its just different and the fact that I dont know anyone to start with doesnt help. Now I know that I will experience that feeling each time we move Im ready for it. It can sometimes take a good year or two before you start feeling comfortable in a place and start to make good friends. Give yourself a bit of time and really try hard to look at all the positives about your new place like CyclChyk said.

Trek-not looking forward to her next move-hawk[/QUOTE]

Good advice Trekhawk. Moving is really hard. Just know you have a fellow biker in Canberra when you get here. More than happy to help you settle in

[solobiker]

I am near the Rochester area. There is some nice biking along the lake