Dear So and So

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Withm- OMG that situation sounds way worse than mine- I'm so sorry- how awful!
When my other neighbors' son took up drumming, we had to suffer through his rock drumming drifting over the neighborhood (whenever he'd forget to close the windows like they agreed to)- but we knew in 3 yrs he'd be GONE, off to college. And sure enough, he's now gone.
Sometimes you just have to pin your hopes on the fact that things do usually change over time...

X- that's too bad about your job. But good thing you didn't give notice at your current job!

[redrhodie]

Dear New Neighbor,

It's fine that you're going to have your floors sanded, but it's a bit worrying to me that you said it won't be loud. I would have felt better if you told me that it's going to be loud and awful, followed by smelly chemicals that will make me want to vomit, and probably give me cancer, and I'd be wise to leave while the work was in progress, sorry for the inconvenience. At least then I'd know you were honest and or smart. Now I think you're a dimwit. Please prove me wrong. If the floor sanding is not loud, I will apologize to the world right here.

[Trek420]

My new neighbor likes to spend all day out on her deck yakking aimlessly on her cell phone. She goes on hour after hour. She's not hollering, but her voice is one of those that strongly carries over distances. She's about 40 yards from me, but I can hear every word as though she were standing next to me. I swear she has no idea how her voice carries. I cough, I sigh, I bang shovels and make noise so she knows I'm right there gardening or trying to relax in my yard. She's clueless. I'm a captive prisoner to her boring endless yakfests.
Once my DH started saying "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!" really loudly, but she still didn't 'get it'. lol! We'll see how the situation progresses this summer.

I would just start asking her ... "And is Priscilla feeling better yet? Hydrocepalus is a serious illness and it is going around. Your uncle Bob stilll has it too? We're all so worried about them. Did Priscilla like the bread pudding with candied ginger and prunes? She's always liked that. We sent some, thought that would make her feel better at least...." or ....

Whenever she's outside start running towards her house in your beekeeper outfit, the hat, mask, the smoke thingie yelling "the bees, the bees, get inside, go inside the bees are coming!" Once she's inside calmly walk away.

[Biciclista]

yes, we can't even discuss some presidents without the asterisks coming up, **** Nixon being one. not that anyone would want to discuss him.

[ultraviolet]

Dear brain,

I'd really enjoy a decent night of sleep. Actually, not just enjoy...be endlessly grateful for. So, if you could see your way to winding down soon, I'd really really really really appreciate it.

Thanks,
me

[channlluv]

I would just start asking her ... "And is Priscilla feeling better yet? Hydrocepalus is a serious illness and it is going around. Your uncle Bob stilll has it too? We're all so worried about them. Did Priscilla like the bread pudding with candied ginger and prunes? She's always liked that. We sent some, thought that would make her feel better at least...." or ....

Whenever she's outside start running towards her house in your beekeeper outfit, the hat, mask, the smoke thingie yelling "the bees, the bees, get inside, go inside the bees are coming!" Once she's inside calmly walk away.

Or you could get a cell phone jammer - Radio Shack, maybe? - and suddenly her back yard never gets any reception. Darn satellites, always changing their flight path, and all.

Just sayin'.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Whenever she's outside start running towards her house in your beekeeper outfit, the hat, mask, the smoke thingie yelling "the bees, the bees, get inside, go inside the bees are coming!" Once she's inside calmly walk away.

Hmmm... and then she'll complain to the village zoning board and then I'll have to get rid of my bees because technically they are probably not allowed, under 'agricultural or nuisance animals'. good try, but no thanks!
Unfortunately, making enemies of the neighbors always has its drawbacks.

...the 'smoke thingy'....lol!
I was using it today!

[Kitsune06]

yeah, that is such a bummer. Put up a sign of some sort in the area where she's doing it maybe? You could get creative!
Or if there is a bunch of you annoyed by it, someone could turn on a radio really loudly when she starts in.

My new neighbor likes to spend all day out on her deck yakking aimlessly on her cell phone. She goes on hour after hour. She's not hollering, but her voice is one of those that strongly carries over distances. She's about 40 yards from me, but I can hear every word as though she were standing next to me. I swear she has no idea how her voice carries. I cough, I sigh, I bang shovels and make noise so she knows I'm right there gardening or trying to relax in my yard. She's clueless. I'm a captive prisoner to her boring endless yakfests.
Once my DH started saying "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!" really loudly, but she still didn't 'get it'. lol! We'll see how the situation progresses this summer.

I don't know that there's any way to really deal with these people... I mean, at school we're always seeing people going on with their long, meandering conversations in the bathroom. I mean, really. I really love my friends dearly, but unless they are in a terrible jam, or are really emotionally distraught, if I hear a toilet flush in the background of a conversation, I am hanging up. I mean, talk about tacky. Eww. And if people are rude enough to yak in public bathrooms, you might be stuck with that lady yaking in the yard.

[Trek420]

making enemies of the neighbors always has its drawbacks.

True, that. But it's soooo much fun to think of ideas.

Every time she is outside talking you take a paint brush, large jar of honey, the bee hat and mask and chase your DH around the yard. Extra points for wearing nothing else. She'll go back inside

...the 'smoke thingy'....lol!
I was using it today!

I don't know what it's called but you get the idea.

Or you could get a cell phone jammer - Radio Shack, maybe? - and suddenly her back yard never gets any reception.

More than likely she
1) doesn't have a home phone line so can't call from in the home and
2) has &^%'ey cell reception that only works outside in a corner of the deck. Unless she wants to walk to the deck to make an emergency call you could politely mention getting a better cell phone and/or land line.

[marni]

Every woman should have her own pedal wrench and her own vibrator, and know how to use both. ~ KnottedYet

trek 420- I love this line but would like to add "and I have a chain whip and a knife sharener and know how to use them to."

not tht this has anything to do with cell phones. That's why I keep a referees whistle around to break out and blow whenever neighbors annoy me, usually in close vicinity and while looking at them. Seems to work. Tell her you need to use it outside just like her because it annoys your family.

[bmccasland]

Dear Person who made an offer on my house,
What part of $24K less than my asking price did you think was a fair offer? Your offer is less than what I paid for the house 9 years ago. We're talking a small house, not some mansion where $24K is a paltry sum. Your offer is so low it's an insult. The house has been on the market for only a few days and you thought I'd take it? Add $15K to your offer, and then maybe we'll have something to discuss.

Have you been watching the house hunting programs where people want shiny new everything? Then go buy new construction, the house is 45 years old. It does have a shiny new a/c and heater, as well as a nice new water line. The kitchen cabinets will actually hold something unlike the crappy new cupboards in the house I'm currently renting.

(I think I need another long walk to get over my anger over your crappy offer.)

[jessmarimba]

Don't take the house offer too personally! Think of it this way - maybe they're house shopping on a really low budget and fell in love with yours, even though it's over their limit. Maybe they're just hoping against hope that you'll accept it because they really want your house.

Dear hair stylist -
Thank you thank you thank you thank you for a cut that needs absolutely no effort and still looks great. While I've had some skilled but high-maintenance cuts from others in your salon, it's been about 10 years since someone figured out how to do a no effort cut. You're hired for good.
Sincerely,
Cute-even-with-bedhead Jesse

[tangentgirl]

yes, we can't even discuss some presidents without the asterisks coming up, **** Nixon being one. not that anyone would want to discuss him.

Dear Self - while it looks really fun to test the limits of this editing program, that would just be immature and silly. For example, posting the Madonna speech from Reservior Dogs - entertaining to me, a whole lot of pointless ****s to everyone else.*

Dear Self - on a different topic, it's ok to take a week off of riding and going to the gym. You're not lazy, you're just really busy with other important stuff, and a week's break won't be terrible. Just eat well, and you'll be back on the bike on Saturday.


*On a side note, I once got to provide a list of interesting words to someone creating one of these editing programs. Who says work's no fun?

[channlluv]

...
*On a side note, I once got to provide a list of interesting words to someone creating one of these editing programs. Who says work's no fun?

Not in the original job description? I find it funny that some programmer asked you for a list of words. Did this person figure you were an expert in foul language? <g>

Roxy

[OakLeaf]

Pity the people who have to deal with forums where things Japanese are frequently discussed. Back when Take****a was prime minister and DH was a sysop ... or if Matsu****a products are popular with participants ...