Dear So and So

[Biciclista]

I almost spit out my soup!

I know. i didn't want to say anything though because the OP was embarrassed. but it's a classic Facebook thing.

[NbyNW]

Dear Powers That Be,

Why on gods green earth do you think it's appropriate to offer a vote on civil rights? If that course of action had been followed in the 60's African Americans would still be waiting for rights. YOU DON'T VOTE ON CIVIL RIGHTS!!

Signed,

Unbelievably disappointed

Amen sister.

[OakLeaf]

Dear Supreme Court,

You're the only bastion this country has against mob rule.

Please start taking that responsibility seriously, the way your predecessors did 50 years ago.

[tulip]

Dear Daughter,

Yes, we have sex. I'm sorry you heard. We were quiet, but the bed squeaks more since we moved it, and I, obviously, wasn't thinking at the time. You ARE almost 21, but I'm sure at any age the idea is disturbing. Sigh....but posting 'OMFG SHOOT ME NOW' on Facebook? I hope you recover, and don't need therapy.

Mom

So, I guess the UHaul made it, eh?

[OakLeaf]

Dear propane company,

We checked the gauge last week and it was at 13%. I don't know why you don't let us re-order until it's below 10%, and I don't know why it's below 0% now. We haven't been using that much propane.

I know it's good for me to HTFU and take sponge baths and wash my hair in 50° water like I did when I was a kid.

But I'm running out of wool. I don't mind wearing the same wool piece around the house for three or four days in a row, but I'd just as rather wear something clean when I go out.

So please hurry, okay?

Signed,

Wool Weenie

PS - Try not to wind up in the moat again. It's embarrassing for you to have to call your boss for a tow, and it's a PITA for us.

[deedolce]

ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah this is soooooooooooo funny. I'm sorry. I think I just peed myself. She put it on FACEBOOK??? ROFLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Thanks, I actually need this! I was mortified, but to hear from others that might have been through similar stuff and can laugh about it really helps!

Yep, Tulip, the UHaul made it. If it weren't for my dd HATING the idea of my be involved at all, it would be way fun. That's what I get for holding off getting involved while she and her brother were growing up (ie...19 years.) She never even had to consider the idea before. And this is what I get for my troubles!

[Selkie]

Your DD should be happy that her parents love each other and have a healthy marriage/relationship. Sorry, I just had to say it.

I don't understand Facebook but then again, that's just me. I know people use it to keep in touch--I'm more of an old fashioned type who actually enjoys writing and receiving letters in the mail.

[Selkie]

Twenty-something girl -

You need to familiarize yourself with the rules about swimming in a crowded pool. Neither I nor the elderly gent with whom I was splitting a lane appreciated your joining us without letting us know. You almost swam into the gent, and your excuse that "I saw him" doesn't wash, sweetie. The guy is in his late 70s or early 80s. Before you join people in lane, you need to let EVERY PERSON IN THE LANE know and ask if we can circle swim. You didn't say boo to either of us.

Yes, I gave you a very loud azz chewing which attracted a lot of attention, which you deserved, particularly when you started arguing with me, acting like you knew what you were doing (trust me, you didn't). The IPOD you were wearing did not help matters, particularly since you kept passing me and the older man without letting us know.

I wasn't surprised that you unilaterally decided that we would split the lane after the old guy gave up and got out of the pool. I've never seen you before and I hope to never encounter you again. That said, if you ever ever try to get in my lane again, I will politely suggest you swim in a medium lane. If you ever act unsafely again, I will go to the pool manager so he can deal with you.

You are too fast for the slow lane. You are rude and unsafe. Karma, of course, will "reward" you for the disrespectful way you treat others. It's not all about you, sweetheart.

[cylegoddess]

Great Goddess,

Can you please send my Best friend lots of good things? His girlfriend just left him and he still is considerate enough to buy me a new 2X cycling top because it was on sale at 50 % off, and he knows I love them.
Im so glad he is my BF.

love
K

[Owlie]

Dear "friends"--
You were friends with both of us before we started dating. Generally speaking, it is polite to at least extend an invitation to both members of a couple, ESPECIALLY if both consider you a friend.

[cylegoddess]

Dear GP,
You suck.Sorry to be so blunt but your attitude is less than bedside.In fact every time I go to see you, only because I cant get to another doctor - you are patronizing arrogant and cold. Plus giving someone with a compromised immune system, and several other chronic aliments who has trouble even just getting thru some days, two days to recover from a a nasty sinus chest infection , is just negligent. I know you said, you cant give more than two days because the health people will be on you possible fraud- but I have had more days from EVERY other doctor I have ever gone to. I think you just want that extra 25 bucks when I have to come in two more times, just to get on my feet. Im never coming back even if I have to drag my poor tired suck body next time, on the half hour bus ride to the next one( who treated me a damn sight better.)When I told you that you should keep in mind that I have diagnosed with a compromised immune system, have Chronic fatigue and other things that may affect my recovery time - you said - you making this hard for me to treat!! No thanks lady.
UN -Sincerely,
Cycle goddess

[Owlie]

Dear body--
Get with the program already, will you? Do one thing or the other, and stop this hemming and hawing! While you're at it, will you stop craving chocolate? Toblerone is delicious, but it does not constitute dinner!

[Blueberry]

Dear Co-Worker:

Please stop bringing your kid's germs to work. This is the 2nd time in 6 weeks I've gotten sick 2 days after you showed up sick. At least I didn't get pink eye when you came to work with that - twice. You have sick time - use it. I'm a temp - I don't have sick time (and after an emergency hot water replacement, can't afford to not get paid), plus I have a huge deadline next Friday. Please???

[Biciclista]

Dear Mother of Weather
It's very nice of you to send your freezing cold winds down to temperate mild Seattle. It's been fun to see below freezing temperatures day after day this week. But it's not fair if we never actually get any snow out of the deal. What's up with that?

Sincerely
one very cold and dry
Mimi

[IFjane]

Mimi, I am sure there are some folks in Iowa and points beyond who would be very happy to send you some!