I think there is something about becoming overweight, that people start discriminating against us, and then we start doing it to ourselves.

I was partnered with a younger thinner woman some years ago for fitness testing, and I could perform 3 times as many crunches as her. But I didn't feel it was because she was thin. But when I couldn't perform something, I then had to blame it on my fatness. I was at a lecture once, and a woman nearby sat on a chair and it broke. She was thin. But if I sat on that same chair, I would have felt that my fatness broke it.

Oddly enough, I got a pair of lycra Terry cycling shorts and I feel so good in them. I know this is silly. But I think it is because they remind me that someone thought that overweight people care just as much about their health, and want to be active, and want clothes to be active in, as anybody else.

Yes some overweight people don't care about health, but many skinny people don't care about their health either.

But once I finish I ride I feel I am feeling better. Today I started reading a book by David Burns, who is knowm for the book "Feeling Good: the New Mood therapy" which has become a classic in self-help. He says that it is our thoughts that create our moods, and often these thoughts are unrealistic, and pessimistic, and sometimes just not useful at all. So he has many exercises to get at these thoughts that are so automatic and fleeting we are not even aware of them.

I suffer from severe depression, but I think that this book can help everyone deal with everyday frustrations of life.

There is nothing wrong with wanting company for a ride. But if it limits your riding, then you might try to find some other people to ride with. I find it difficult to take a fifteen minute walk. But if I say, I need something at the store, and I will walk there, I am more likely to do it. I don't know if this will work for you.

Good luck with the riding. If nothing else, perhaps a different time of day would be easier for you to get yourself out.

Mary