If possible, shop for the LBS as much as you do the particular bike. I'm not sure all of them approach the fitting process the same way. They don't all have an attitude towards female cyclists that will suit you. I was really surprised by both of these things, and picked the LBS that had the "features" I wanted here.

If you've got plenty of time, then ride lots of bikes! That should make it clear what you like. There are many accounts here of what other women like and own, which did help me when I was shopping. My take on the > $2000 end was that you could get the carbon frames that are "stiff and responsive". In other words, aluminum is stiff, steel is responsive... custom carbon has both features. I never tried one, so I don't know if that's all hype. But it was an interesting concept.

And I agree on bcipam's comment on a good steel bike, but that's just me. Bianchi 2005 Veloce is what I bought. I prefer the Campagnolo components, another personal preference thing.

Let us know how it goes.