Maybe another possibility...

Go with her on recovery rides and force yourself to ride her pace so you won't go too hard.

Go riding alone, do something hard - like hill reps - before you meet with her. You'll be more laid back... I do that sometimes: I send my partner on a tough hill ride for about an hour and then he picks me up at our place, he's happy with the hills and a bit tired, so we can ride together and I actually get to draft him towards the end.