It's not over yet, but thanks for the info. I broke one tire iron, just snapped the head right off trying to pry this bead out of the rim. I got the thing off with the two remaining tire irons. Got the tube out. The tube is fine. The valve was broken, as far as I can tell. I have another tube. Got that in. Now I cannot get that last foot of bead back onto the rim.

I feel like such an inept moron and fraud of a cyclist at this moment.

Back to it. I put on some gospel music and ate three Thin Mints.

L.