The first mile sucks.

[kimct]

Joyful and latelate....I had the same problem with my hubby at first...our only solution was---I started riding ALONE! Our last ride together, he stayed in front of me the whole time and took a very hilly route that I just wasn't ready for. He turned around to come back to me and I YELLED 'how is this a ride 'together' if we're not together? I don't wanna ride with you 2 miles ahead of me!'. He says something like...I'm not going really hard, you're just slow...ooooooh. I yelled again, but won't put here what I said, he rode off in a huff and I finished the rest of the ride!

When I got home, I told him I don't want to ride with him anymore because I want to feel like I'm doing a good job out there, not like a failure because I can't keep up with him! I know in my head that he's in better shape than I am, but I still have that urge to keep up..and I can't!

Not saying that would be the solution for y'all...but it was for us! Once my avg speed is up and I'm making better mileage I might invite him along for a test ride! Until then, I'm solo.

Kim

[bikerchick68]

ugh... I feel for both you ladies... you just ride your own pace and KNOW you are doing more than 1/2 of America!

as to the warm up... only a mile? really??? all my ride friends know that it takes me about 15 miles to really warm up. After 15 miles tho... watch out! I just suddenly feel like I can ride forever. Until then I wonder why, oh why, didn't I take up KNITTING as a hobby???

[kimct]

Biker...don't feel bad for me, my rides have become MY time! I thought I would enjoy riding with him, and it really turns out I enjoy being alone more! I'm a stay at home mom with 3 kids, so any minute alone, in peace and quiet is a blessing! Took me a bit to realize that...lol.

He's been very supportive of the bike thing! I'm lucky for that! I take off for 2 hours most days when he gets home from work, leaving him with 3 kids...he takes one for the team without saying a thing!

Kim

[kelownagirl]

I also don't love riding with my DH (yet) - he tries not to push me, but sometimes he "nudges" and I don't want nudging. He's much fitter than I am, so when we ride, I am working my butt off, fitter than I've ever been, and STILL lagging while he's flitting off ahead. I really need my ride to be about having a feeling of accomplishment, not another situation in my life where I'm sure I'm not good enough.

I ride only with dh and he's pretty great about the difference in our fitness but sometimes I try to make him do the whole ride in his biggest gear (including hills) just so he's on par with me. Another thing we do is drafting - he rides faster that way and gets a better workout, and I can ease up a bit when it's windy etc. Puts us on more of an even keel...

I want you know that there is hope... I only started riding at the end of March and the improvement I've made riding about 100k a week is amazing. Dh and I are pretty well even on the flats now and I am MUCH better doing the hills than I was two months ago. Once you start to see some improvement, you get really motivated!

barb

[Pachyderm]

For those of you feeling that you can't keep up with your partners, just remember that is is not all about fitness. It can just be about the way that you like to ride. I enjoy cycling not only to improve my fitness and feel the wind in my hair, but to see the beautiful countryside. I can't really see or explore if I go too fast. My occasional riding partner wants to go faster than me, but most of the time he will just settle down and see the world. We generally cycle at a pace where we can chat while we cycle, so on the flat we don't tend to cycle faster than about 13-15 miles per hour.

So, don't just put it down to lower fitness levels, think about how you want to ride as well. There is no shame in wanting to have fun (and in my case, I am an explorerer as well - how cool does that sound!)

[JoyfulGirl]

Going for a bike ride with my boyfriend tonight. Told him I'd like a headstart to warm up and work off my crankiness. He's very happy to agree with anything that might make me more pleasant to be around So We'll see how that goes.

Bloomer- My boyfriend and your husband need to hook up and go for a ride together. Then we could go for a ride together and tell each other how great we are. That's the kind of encouragement I need too. I'm very good at figuring out for myself all of the things I'm not good at and being self critical, no need for anyone else to do that for me I figure I need to be a little bit less sensitive and needy of approval and encouragement though... But in the mean time if that's what I know I need to do well I might as well set myself up for doing well. Which sometimes mean gagging my boyfriend.

Tulip- Looking forward to slicks. Boyfriend's agreed to be silent in the beginning and give me a headstart to work my crankiness out on my own<G>

KimCT- I know that feeling too of.. he doesn't even need to say anything. Sometimes I just want to tip him over on his bike for being so much better. I try to keep in mind that he doesn't even need to say anything negative, just something I don't want to hear<G> to irritate me. But I'm really hoping to resolve this so we can keep riding together. :/ reading your second post. Yikes, I can see how those hours to yourself would be a god send!

Bikerchick- Your post made me laugh out loud. 15 miles is quite a ways for me to go. rofl. My first ride was 3 weeks ago and I was fairly sure I was going to have a heart attack and die after that 10 mile ride. Looking forward to those longer rides when I get there though!

Kelownagirl- I like that idea of making him ride in his biggest gear. That's some creative problem solving. I'm looking forward to improvement very much..

Pachyderm- <G> I wish I could put it down to me just being more leisurely and sight seeing, though that's some of it.. I slow down to watch baby ducks, puppies, flowers, neat cars, mud puddles... But I'm also just out of shape unfortunately hehe.

[mimitabby]

another solution to the boyfriend 2 miles ahead of you telling you to hurry up
or, "everytime I slow down you slow down more!" (have you heard that one?)

We got a tandem. Now i can not only keep up with him, i can smack him when he needs it!

[EvilTwin]

When I got my bike in March, BF would take me out for training rides. He was/is incredibly patient with me. He would ride his heavier touring bike, while I was on my lovely new Giant OCR 1.... I have learned how to draft from him, how to increase my speed and spin, how to climb, get into my zone for hills, and all of that. With that said, what I remember most from those first initial rides was that as I was behind him riding my heart out and wanting to die, he looked like the wicked witch of the east (west?) from the Wizard of Oz when she was the cranky neighbor on the bike. You know, with the music going doit doit doit doit do do doit do doit do do or something like that... anyway, the visual has stayed with me whenever we go out.
Barb

[RoadRaven]

Just reiterating what the other gals have said...

Get slicks or semi-slicks when you ride on the road... start in a low gear...

Take it easy for the first little while... before a race I make sure I have about 30 mins to warm up and ride slowly (between 22 - 27kph) just to get the legs remembering that I am on a bike and thinking about what I am going to ask of them.

On a training ride or recovery ride, I expect my legs to feel muddy for 20-30 minutes and then all of a sudden every thing feels much easier.

And sitting in behind someone once you have warmed up is a great way to train, particulalrly if they go just a fraction faster than you usually do...

[JoyfulGirl]

I left about 15 minutes before my boyfriend. Ride started out much better. Felt spiffy. Much happier starting by myself. He got out some of his energy by zooming along to catch up with me. I guess I really just do have to warm up alot more than he does. At least we know if I just go out by myself first we have a much more amiable and cheerful ride.

In some ways I'm feeling great from the exercise. In other ways I'm feeling absolutely horrible lately. My life style is not conducive to being healthy. I'm going to have to do some major life style altering if I want to keep riding. It's kind of overwhelming. I think feeling like poop is adding to my cranky disposition.

[RoadRaven]

Way to go, Joyful!!!


you rock... and bf does too for being understanding!!!

[latelatebloomer]

The trainer at our gym who was the State Champ in his masters' class last year told me he does a lot of his training rides at 12 mph. I've heard it about some teams, too. I'm not really clear on the concept, but it helps me feel more respectable. So Joyful, you & me are in good company. And I'd just love to ride with you some day!