Dear So and So

[KSH]

Dear Ex Husband,

First off, I really appreciate the fact that you decided we needed a divorce. Trust me, life with you was miserable, and I am glad you left.

True, I wish you would have figured that out BEFORE I spent $2,000 on taking your butt to Paris and England... but... whatever. I also wish you would have left when you had a job, so you could have paid me for the bills you left me with. How nice was I to pay your last cell phone bill, instead of cutting it off the day you left (Oh, and thanks for going over your minutes and never thanking me for not cutting off the phone!).

I also understand that you simply must get married because you have knocked up your girlfriend. I commend you on trying to do the right thing. You certainly never tried to do the right thing with me... unless you think cheating on me and lying to me... was the right thing. OH, wait... you have left her 3 times and you have cheated on her. Ooopss!

But, I truly wish that you would be man enough to pay for half of the divorce that you asked for. It was in the divorce decree that you were to HELP ME PAY for the divorce. Shoot, if it weren't for me doing it, we would still be married.

Of course, you ignored the court date (I think you were too cracked out on speed to make it. Too bad the cops who were looking for you a year later never brought you up on dealing charges.), and the fact that we got divorced.... do you know we are divorced? Maybe a mutal friend told you that we got divorced?

Anyways... from what I hear you have a good job now and a really expensive car... so, it would nice if you would pay for your divorce...before you pay for your second marriage only 1.5 years later.

Yea... that's what I want... for you to PAY FOR THE DIVORCE you wanted.

Sincerely,
Your ex wife (or have you fogotten that you even had a wife #1?)