attention stokers: question here

[mimitabby]

I did? When? I did not know that bridge and the lip were there. At 62 mph I have my head tucked against his back and am "listening" to the feel of his body weight. I try to shut out other input so I don't risk leaning the wrong way.

oh! well at least i did the right thing when WE were going 49mph.. i did exactly that. tried to make myself small and not move right behind him.

[Veronica]

BF and I have been talking about a tandem since we first rode together. He's a much faster rider than me but we're nearly the same size: he's about 2 inches and 20 pounds heavier than I am, and we can use the same bikes (with adjustments).

So I was hoping that we could get a tandem where we could alternate positions. Did anyone ever try that? He's a great rider to draft from and I wouldn't have an issue riding in the back, but I'd also like to see the road sometimes, and to try captaining too.

Also another question: how did you guys who tandem with your life-partner get started? How did it impact your couple?

Thom and I are nearly the same size and we have traded positions on the tandem with no problem. I wanted to learn how to captain so I could ride with a friend in a women's only ride. I don't really like being the captain - that I find stressful. But it was a good experience and we had a blast on the ride.

We wrote about our decision to buy a tandem in 2002 here.

http://www.tandemhearts.com/bike/index.html

Tandeming did nothing for our relationship. Except give us more time together.

V.

[SadieKate]

You can always try the Assos bib tights for relationship issues on the tandem.

[Grog]

Thanks to all who responded! I'll check out the links.

This is not a short-term project, as I don't even know where we'd put the bike right now (we live in a campus residence), but it's good to start talking about it. We'll try to rent one first and see what happens...

Thanks!!!

[snowtulip]

I rode mtb. tandem with hubby before I started riding single. He's 11 inches taller and about 100 lbs heavier than me. I love tandem riding, I love being the stoker and because of the size difference, will never be the captain. After we did some jumps on the tandem, I decided I had to try a single bike (so glad, can't imagine life without mtb. riding on single).

Communication takes time, it also helps if the captain tries stoking for awhile (they get a first hand look at the importance of communicating everything, even if it seems ridiculous at first).

[salsabike]

We got started two years ago when our family doc, a major jock, heard we were both riding a lot and said, "Oohooh, why don't you guys train to do the STP on a tandem? I've done it on a tandem the last eight years and it's so much fun!" We rented one and took it for a 20-mile ride, and had a blast. Ended up finding a 91 Burley for, um, $350 at Recycled Cycles.

My husband Chris is the captain because he is by far the more experienced and skilled cyclist. He is a really good captain. He read up on basic tandem etiquette before our first ride (warn stoker about any changes, like Mimitabby's sidewalk thing; announce stops, turns, bumps, etc.) and has practiced it quite well since the beginning. Neither of us find it more stressful than singles riding; just different--he has to concentrate more and can't zone out as he does on his single. I love both kinds of riding. And as Mimitabby says, it sure smooths out speed differences that get in the way of riding together on singles.

Tandem riding does a nice job of amplifying whatever relationship you have. If it's fundamentally polite and not full of control struggles, you can have fun; if there are "issues" about good manners and power conflicts, you'll get a real CLOSE view of them on the tandem. That being said, some people just plain never like it as much as singles riding, even if they have the most polite and even-powered relationship in the world. But if you do like it, and each partner is willing, the etiquette can be learned and practiced pretty consistently, and then it's just SUCH a blast. It takes lots of conscious practice and it is work for the captain to always be aware of having to announce stuff.

[Tuckervill]

Beware that tandems are affectionately known as "divorce machines". I know people who have said there is no way they could ride tandem with their mate.

I've heard the same thing about hanging wallpaper.

My husband has always dreamed of riding a big ol' motorcycle together, but there is NO WAY I am getting on the back of a machine with him in control. I rarely can tolerate him driving a car with me as passenger. We don't share canoes, either. So, yes, we have power issues.

And then, we have a 15 inch gap between our heights and 100 pounds between our weights. (He's 6'7", I'm 5'4") Even if there were possibly a tandem bike that fit him, I wouldn't want to be sitting looking at his behind the whole time. Then, even if he tried stoking once to see what it was like, he'd just be able to see over me--but he wouldn't fit on the seat anyway.

I admire couples that can ride tandem or canoe together or hang wallpaper. I'm just not part of one.

On the plus side, DH did go and take his first solo ride around town the other day, after I took him on a 14 mile ride earlier in the week. That's a major accomplishment for my non-athletic, tall, geeky, funny looking but adorable husband.

Karen

[Shimpie]

Tee hee! My fiancee and I have a 16 inch difference. He's 6'4" and I'm 5'0" He's all leg and I'm all torso with short stubby legs. When we sit next to each other, the height difference isn't as extreme. I don't even think a tandem exists out there that would fit the two of us.

[wabisabi]

Hee, hee; my friends who ride a tandem call it their "marriage accelerator."

[bcipam]

Tee hee! My fiancee and I have a 16 inch difference. He's 6'4" and I'm 5'0" He's all leg and I'm all torso with short stubby legs. When we sit next to each other, the height difference isn't as extreme. I don't even think a tandem exists out there that would fit the two of us.

I regularly see this couple on event rides... he appears to be around 6'4" and she around 5'. When she sits behind her husband on the bike, her face is directly in - yes that's right, his crack. Can you imagine doing a century that way? Those that have done the So Cal rides I'm sure have seen this couple.

[Susan Otcenas]

I admit it. I'm a control freak. When Jeff & I bought a tandem, people thought we were nuts (we already spend 23.5 hours a day within 10 feet or each other, did we really need a tandem too???), but we've had alot of fun on it. The most stressful thing for me is the out-of-control feeling on descents. I love riding fast descents on my single, but on the tandem, they freak me out unless they are long and straight. Twisty and steep descents on the tandem usually have me squealing in fear. So in compromise, he brakes more than he'd like to, and I close my eyes and try to trust more.

But other than that, I've managed to get over most of my control issues on the tandem. Jeff has learned to communicate bumps, turns, etc. I've learned to ask for gear changes if I'm uncomfortable, and ask for a coast-and-stand moment if I need a butt break.

Together we've learned that we can communicate through the pedals. We've been riding long enough that subtle changes in pressure on the pedals by one or the other usually transmits a desire to work harder or slow down/cease pedaling. Those of you who have been riding together with the same person for a long time probably know what I'm trying to express here.

Mimi, I do have a suggestion for training your captain. The captain you rode with initially? Have him take your husband out for a ride, with your husband as the stoker. Ask him (without your husband's knowledge) to do the things that you dislike. ie. abruptly ceasing to pedal, not calling out bumps, making unexpected turns, etc. Your husband needs to understand how it feels to be out of control, and out of communication, before he can empathize with your concerns. After the ride, clue him in to your evil plot. After being a stoker, he will be a much better captain.

Nonetheless, Jeff & I do bicker occasionally on the tandem. This is usually Jeff's cue to make sure I'm eating enough. I tend to get grumpy (and take it out on him) when I don't manage my ride nutiition well.

Susan

[mimitabby]

Hey Susan, i like your idea. The trouble is, if i get those two guys on a tandem together everyone is going to KNOW why!
on last night's ride my husband made the mistake of complaining about me
(as a stoker) to that very person and he took my side

that'll teach him.

on the other hand, last night ALL of those guys were going down the hills faster than I like.