Quote Originally Posted by Grog
BF and I have been talking about a tandem since we first rode together. He's a much faster rider than me but we're nearly the same size: he's about 2 inches and 20 pounds heavier than I am, and we can use the same bikes (with adjustments).

So I was hoping that we could get a tandem where we could alternate positions. Did anyone ever try that? He's a great rider to draft from and I wouldn't have an issue riding in the back, but I'd also like to see the road sometimes, and to try captaining too.

Also another question: how did you guys who tandem with your life-partner get started? How did it impact your couple?
Grog:

It just doesn't work that way - the bigger, heavier, stronger peson must be the captain. The captain is responsible for controlling the bike and in particular while stopping being able to hold up the bike with the stoker intact. The stoker seldom if ever unclips from the pedals. If the bike starts to go over could you hang on to it with your husband attached? You can still see off to the side (if the speed is not too great). and a friend of mine uses a mirror to see behind her, what she has passed.

Most of my tandem experiences were with boyfriends. The first time the BF was a rider and had a tandem and talked me into riding it with him. He was a good and patient captain. Very communitive and made me feel secure. He was also a big strong guy (6'3", 240 solid pounds) so I knew he could control the bike if need be. We both really liked to ride individually but while tandeming still had a good time. It was just a different experience.

I have one friend however who she and her BF stopped talking for awhile after one bad experience (he did something stupid and dumped the bike). Probably best to have strong relationship in the first place!