Dear So and So

[jeannierides]

Dear Furniture Shopper,

Don't you realize how rude it is to come into our store talking on your cell phone? You can obviously see me walking up to you in order to greet you. Are you so self-important that you can't put your phone down for a few minutes out of common courtesy?? I promise I won't pin your arm behind your back and make you buy anything!

Sincerely fed up,

[KSH]

Dear Ex Husband,

First off, I really appreciate the fact that you decided we needed a divorce. Trust me, life with you was miserable, and I am glad you left.

True, I wish you would have figured that out BEFORE I spent $2,000 on taking your butt to Paris and England... but... whatever. I also wish you would have left when you had a job, so you could have paid me for the bills you left me with. How nice was I to pay your last cell phone bill, instead of cutting it off the day you left (Oh, and thanks for going over your minutes and never thanking me for not cutting off the phone!).

I also understand that you simply must get married because you have knocked up your girlfriend. I commend you on trying to do the right thing. You certainly never tried to do the right thing with me... unless you think cheating on me and lying to me... was the right thing. OH, wait... you have left her 3 times and you have cheated on her. Ooopss!

But, I truly wish that you would be man enough to pay for half of the divorce that you asked for. It was in the divorce decree that you were to HELP ME PAY for the divorce. Shoot, if it weren't for me doing it, we would still be married.

Of course, you ignored the court date (I think you were too cracked out on speed to make it. Too bad the cops who were looking for you a year later never brought you up on dealing charges.), and the fact that we got divorced.... do you know we are divorced? Maybe a mutal friend told you that we got divorced?

Anyways... from what I hear you have a good job now and a really expensive car... so, it would nice if you would pay for your divorce...before you pay for your second marriage only 1.5 years later.

Yea... that's what I want... for you to PAY FOR THE DIVORCE you wanted.

Sincerely,
Your ex wife (or have you fogotten that you even had a wife #1?)

[Lise]

KSH: I hear ya. I think I got the female version of your ex! But she's a Buddist now, so all is ok in her world. Except that I'm still paying off the debts. As my sister said, "You're the one willing to stand up and take responsibility for your actions. Be proud of that." Hang in there. Sometimes you chew off a bit of your tail to get out of a trap. L.

[KnottedYet]

Dear So and So,

I'm really sorry that you feel the universe shafted you, uniquely you, and everyone else is better off than you and never (ever) been shafted by anything.

I'm not happy that I'm STILL thinking about the lovely phone call I got from you at home one evening a few weeks ago, in which you called me 8 kinds of b*tch and used the "f" word to describe me countless times. For nearly an hour. Then you sobbed into the phone about your ex, your kids, your debts, your sister, and how badly our boss treats you. You wailed about how little you are paid, yet refuse to take further training which our boss is willing to pay for. (with further training you would automatically be paid more for the exact same work you are doing now)

If you want to get into a pissing contest over who's had a harder life, I could tell you stories that would curl your hair. But there's so much more to the world than relentless, grinding, self-pity and bitterness and resentment.

Please grow beyond your soap opera (we all have them, you are not unique) and don't ever call me at home and have a temper tantrum at me again.

KnottedYet

[KSH]

KSH: I hear ya. I think I got the female version of your ex! But she's a Buddist now, so all is ok in her world. Except that I'm still paying off the debts. As my sister said, "You're the one willing to stand up and take responsibility for your actions. Be proud of that." Hang in there. Sometimes you chew off a bit of your tail to get out of a trap. L.

You know what ticks me off? Is that these people... can come into someone's lives... screw them over and then walk off without even a care about what they have done.

Did she try to make ammends with you after becoming a Buddist? Or is that how she made herself feel good what she did?

Yea... we are the good ones... taking the responsiblity. But it's just so WRONG that they can just move on... not look back... and not care or try to correct what they have done wrong. Or even own up to what they have done. I even got written proof from the girl he cheated on me with... and I sent it to him... he proceeded to tell me it was a lie. And I knew it wasn't. He even told other people that I made up that story with her to make him look bad.???

For some reason I think if I could confront him about what he did to me over the course of 5 years...I might let it all go?!

When we broke up... he just left... and that was it. We never discussed anything. And, I set it up that way... because I didn't want him thinking he would ever have a shot at coming back.

Shoot...even after he left... he tried to screw me with his car insurance bill by trying to pull a fast one when I told him to change his address and get it in his name... but he told the company he still lived with me. I promptly called and gave them his Mom' address.

Anways... I could go on and on (as I am sure MANY women on this board could! Who here hasn't been screwed over by an ex?)... I guess in the end though, I just wonder, "What have I done to deserve this" (Pet Shop Boys song), and I wonder why there are some people in this world who are allowed to make messes everywhere they go... and continue on with their lives as if they did nothing wrong.

[fixedgeargirl]

I guess in the end though, I just wonder, "What have I done to deserve this" (Pet Shop Boys song), and I wonder why there are some people in this world who are allowed to make messes everywhere they go... and continue on with their lives as if they did nothing wrong.

I still have my moments of wondering what I did to deserve this, heck, I have a lifetime of wallowing in self-pity behind me. But I feel so much stronger when I think in terms of "What am I taking away from this? What lesson have I learned?" In my case, I have learned to stand up for myself, to like who I am and not someone else's version of who I could be if I would only let them "help" me . I know I will never repeat my Relationship from Hades, and have gained boatloads of self-respect from being completely disrespected by my ostensible partner. I believe these relationships happen for a reason, though I'm still trying to figure out what possible good could come out of me not being able to move back to my hometown thanks to X and his filing a custody suit here in boiling hot Texas...

[KSH]

I still have my moments of wondering what I did to deserve this, heck, I have a lifetime of wallowing in self-pity behind me. But I feel so much stronger when I think in terms of "What am I taking away from this? What lesson have I learned?" In my case, I have learned to stand up for myself, to like who I am and not someone else's version of who I could be if I would only let them "help" me . I know I will never repeat my Relationship from Hades, and have gained boatloads of self-respect from being completely disrespected by my ostensible partner. I believe these relationships happen for a reason, though I'm still trying to figure out what possible good could come out of me not being able to move back to my hometown thanks to X and his filing a custody suit here in boiling hot Texas...

Well... I certainly have learned something. I learned that I can't pick a husband and should never be married again.

And, I didn't let his screwing me over ruin my life. I picked myself up, dusted myself off and got a plan for success.

Honestly, my life is 100 times better since he left... and I have everything I need (well, I do NEED a new road bike and nice little tri bike, HA!). Not to mention that I am accomplishing goals and living out my dreams.

I am happy to hear that you took something away from your relationship and that you are better person for it. That's always a good thing!

Sorry you gotta live in Texas... although... I rather like it myself!

[Brandy]

Dear girl in Spinning class rocking the flourescent pink mesh crop top over the black sports bra,

WHY???? Between that and the five pounds of makeup that you're sporting, you look like a hooker. Sometimes less is more.

Love,

Can't stop looking at your very strange choice in style.

[Lise]

Did she try to make ammends with you after becoming a Buddist? Or is that how she made herself feel good what she did?

She made amends for the violence. She did not make financial amends for the $50K debt she said she'd pay, on which promise she reniged (certainly that's not how to spell that word!). I hear she and new partner provide financial support to Buddist projects. I'm sure the monks wouldn't mind her paying off the project she left in my lap first.

I don't think anybody "does anything to deserve" any of this. I think there are charming, irresponsible, selfish people in the world, and some of us "fall in love with" them. I know I blinded myself to reality by keeping a fantasy of what should be happening in front of my eyes. I will not make certain mistakes again...but I've gone on to make others! Ah, being human...

[Nanci]

Great, so now I just read an article about how important it is to protect your eyes from UV radiation (already knew) and that blue light causes macular degeneration, so don't wear blue lenses and do wear amber lenses. Also, UV protection is clear, darker lenses don't matter. When I had eye surgery, the doc told me to always wear sunglasses, all the time.

[KSH]

She made amends for the violence. She did not make financial amends for the $50K debt she said she'd pay, on which promise she reniged (certainly that's not how to spell that word!). I hear she and new partner provide financial support to Buddist projects. I'm sure the monks wouldn't mind her paying off the project she left in my lap first.

I don't think anybody "does anything to deserve" any of this. I think there are charming, irresponsible, selfish people in the world, and some of us "fall in love with" them. I know I blinded myself to reality by keeping a fantasy of what should be happening in front of my eyes. I will not make certain mistakes again...but I've gone on to make others! Ah, being human...

At least she tried to make amends for the violence. Gawd, if any person... male or female... ever even tries to lay a hand me... they better run for their lives. I fight to win. I am so sorry you had to go through that!

OK, I have to say... 50K is worse than 24K... so, I should just be happy it wasn't more... right? 50K is really bad.

Charming, irresponsible and selfish... good way to describe it. I think we... the responsible ones... tend to be drawn to that... for some odd reason.

Yes, fantasy... we only see what we wan to see. For example, when someone told me my ex was cheating... I refused to see it.

Oh well.

Thanks for the reply. I am happy to hear that you are in a better place now.

[Brandy]

Dear children,

I appreciate that you are so enthusiastic about vermicomposting. Could you do me a favor though? When you go out in the back to visit the little wormies, could you make sure that you close the back door before you take the lid off of the compost bin? I really don't enjoy having three hundred and thirty eight fruit flies in the house.

Love,
Mom

[betagirl]

Dear Betagirl,

I'm probably going to have nightmares due to you and your monkeys.

Disturbedly,

Nanci

Dear Nanci,

I'd help you out with that, but they don't let me practice psychology yet

Betagirl

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" - Charleton Heston

[Lise]

Dear Nanci,

I'd help you out with that, but they don't let me practice psychology yet

Betagirl

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" - Charleton Heston

It's a madhouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's my favorite line from Planet of the Apes. And I believe it applies here.
...............................
and thanks, bz & cc. It sure makes one appreciate the peace and quiet.

[latelatebloomer]

Dear Bicycling Goddess,

Can I please have fun on my bike again really soon? Surely you've noticed by now that I'm willing to get out there and try to work past my fears. I miss the old feeling of strength and happiness on my bike so much. It doesn't seem fair that I should work so hard to get that feeling - only to lose it. I'm doing my best down here, I really am, but it's such slow going - can you sprinkle a little pixie dust or something?

the meekly-riding (but un-surrendering) LLB