What it used to be like

[Lise]

And how biking changed it.

I found this today, at the bottom of a drawer. I wrote it August 12, 1999, about the chronic pain of endometriosis:
........................................
Today it drifts in,
flakes of red dust
hardly noticable
in the air.

Settles in my pelvis,
lining concavities
of bone and muscle,
sifting over scars,
ropey connections
of organ to organ.

Silt packing joined places,
obliterating the terrain.
Red as ore, heavy as lead,
persistence of pain.
..............................................
I lived with that pain since I was 15. Little did I dream that almost exactly 4 years later, on August 10, 2003, I would start and finish my first triathlon. I know there are many stories on this board alone of triumph over pain and suffering. It's good to remember how far I've come! L.

[betagirl]

Wow Lise, that's great to see how far you've come. I can relate to the pain thing, and I understand how biking gives you this sense of accomplishment and freedom over what your body can try to do to you. I never feel better than when I'm on my bike, even when I'm suffering from a massive climb or fighting to hang onto the wheel of a rider who's just that much faster than me. Cycling takes me away from being ill, and knowing that I can ride faster and farther than a lot of healthy people I know is sometimes all I need to get through some of the hard days.

Thanks for posting that.

[donnambr]

This is very inspiring, Lise, and what a great poem. I have endometriosis, too. I've had 2 periods since beginning my weekday work commute by bike and I'm happy to say that I managed to ride through both, though I went slow, flat, and easy.

I noticed I had to take less narcotics this last time. Sometimes it's just a fluke, but I'm wondering if my pain levels are going down from cycling. Time will tell.

[Lise]

This is very inspiring, Lise, and what a great poem. I have endometriosis, too. I've had 2 periods since beginning my weekday work commute by bike and I'm happy to say that I managed to ride through both, though I went slow, flat, and easy.

I noticed I had to take less narcotics this last time. Sometimes it's just a fluke, but I'm wondering if my pain levels are going down from cycling. Time will tell.

Hi, Donna--

I have virtually no pain nowadays. I use continuous hormones (contraceptive) so that I never ovulate or have a period anymore. That certainly helps. The physical activity of biking and running (and a bit of swimming) has made a huge difference. I haven't used narcotics for pain relief in over 5 years. I used to be on two anti-depressants for pain relief, too. No more. I'd be happy to PM with you if you ever want to talk about it.
Seven years ago, I went through the chronic pain program at the Rehab Institute of Chicago. They told me that two things would interfere with the "pain messages" from my pelvis to my brain. One was anti-depressants, and the other was aerobic exercise. I told them to give me a prescription, because I knew myself, and I'd never do regular exercise.

It is so good to be wrong sometimes!!! Take care, Lise

[margo49]

You are so right
the best is when pain/illness
is a memory
that gives you perspective
Like they say in Islam
the biggest jihad is the one with yourself

[Lise]

You are so right
the best is when pain/illness
is a memory
that gives you perspective
Like they say in Islam
the biggest jihad is the one with yourself

So true. Thank you for that reminder.

[VenusdeVelo]

Good for you Lise, I was diagnosed with similar but not til later in life (>37 or so, and have dealt with it about 7 yrs only). Previous to that I never had problems and I feel like it was all stored up for these years, which are exactly the years I chose to get into biking and such!

I had endometrial ablation about 1.5 yrs ago and I have to say it helped alot. Prior to that I was either missing work from the pain, or taking too many drugs on the days I had it. Exercise, esp biking helped alot. When I got on the bike and cycled more aggressively the pain actually subsided. I am sure you found the same. But also as you know it comes back. And it takes a lot sometimes to have the pain and get ON the bike.

I feel a lot better now and manage it more steadily. I hope you do too. That poem was so on target, it's always been hard for me to convey to others what that pain feels like, and how tired and exhausted pain makes you feel.

Best to you -- you are a shining example of determination to conquer it!!