I hear you guys and thanks so much for helping me to look at myself.

I am usually a very positive person. It's just been a tough road for me with my racing...I want to do well so badly. I rode a bike for 7 years that was too big for me and caused me pain. Then, I battled chronic fatigue syndrome, along with some non-biking related injuries and accidents. So, I guess at least from all of that, I have a killer base to work from due to all of my base miles LOL, along with some mental toughness training there too

Last year, I raced and came in last place in every race I did except for one. I know it takes a while to get strength back and such, but it was so hard for me emotionally. I realized that I've been everyone else's cheerleader and support, but when it comes time for it to be reciprocated, no one I have cared about for so many years has been there to cheer me on...except my Cat 2 racer husband and my message board friends here (thanks and hugs!). I realized I race for me and that's it...I can't care what anyone else does or doesn't do.

I've been a successful athlete in running and mtn. biking, so I have hope, but I am 34 so I can't just get there overnight any more

I keep on keeping on, so I guess that is all that matters. I am just waiting for things to get better for me...It feels like it's taken an eternity to just make a small amount of progress. I've worked so hard and been through so much, I just like to have those glimmers of hope now and then.

Thanks for the support and letting me vent

Bear hugs,
Lisa