Quote Originally Posted by li10up
If I try to maintain the gear I was in my legs just can't take it...now here is the question...even though I'm gearing down will I get stronger and eventually be able to keep up? I'm concerned that my gearing down isn't going to strengthen my legs.
Your legs will get stronger as long as you're spinning high cadence and pushing enough resistance to keep your heartrate up. Doing intervals where you push a harder gear and then rest in a lighter one will also help.

Maybe in the meantime you can find a slower paced group that either matches your current abilities or only slightly exceeds it? That way you can still enjoy group riding but not feel pathetic, trust me I can empathize.

I ride alone most of the time, which always builds strength because I have to break my own wind all the time. Then when I do get to go ride with a group I can enjoy taking turns pulling (which is just like riding by myself in the wind) and also enjoy drafting for once.