After my mother in law embarked on her first triathlon last year (the Seattle Danskin), I got roped in. Seeing all of those women, it was just awesome. I thought, "If they can do it, I can do it." I started bettering myself, even if it was just to participate with Mom, to feel like I was doing something. She was so excited, she looked so happy, I wanted to be a part of it, I wanted her to have a daughter she could share her fun with. Alas, it is not so simple.

Lesson One: Why Can't I Be An Athlete?

For me, the biggest mental issue so far can be summed up by this penetrating phrase that I can't shake: "I'm not an athlete." I end up with this mental block that says "this isn't where I belong" -- it's like a lead weight I have to carry every time I get on the bike, lace up the shoes, or dip my toes in the water (heck, even snowboarding, kayaking, hiking, you name it). I even have trouble saying the word "training" Every time I buy equipment I think "I wonder what the people who really use this stuff correctly do with it." (As if somehow it's so different than what I'm going to do? Duh! You put the pedals on the bike and you ride it!)

I'm still working on this one. I regularly get passed by casual runners with more natural ability (and longer legs). I have to turn this from "why am I so slow?" into "maybe they are at mile 1" -- even if it's totally my imagination trying to play tricks on me, it gets me thinking "yeah, I was pretty fast back at mile 1 too, so let's keep working and I'll be that fast at mile 10!" I get passed by bikers who probably LIVE on their bikes. I have to turn this from "why do they all pass me?" into "but I pass people too!"

Lesson Two: Every Day Is Not A Race

My second lesson was learning that every day is not a race. You cannot look at every time, every average HR, every pace, every lap as a race. Some days are flat out different than others. Some days you want to try new things, some days are called "Friday" where you are tired from working 60 hours on top of your exercise schedule, some days Mother Nature decides to sprinkle her dew upon you profusely, some days that dew is a little more like a slushie, some days that dew is paired with Mr. Wind (too bad it isn't Mr. Bubble instead). You know what? You're still out there. You're still doing it. Every day is a good day, every day is progress.

I "learned" this lesson not long after I started -- I ran the same course regularly, and I started to plateau. It was bound to happen, I was thinking about it all wrong. I was racing myself instead of training. Every day I got disappointed if it wasn't faster than the day before... if the HR was higher than the day before... if the dog took two poops instead of one and made me walk (especially if I only had one poo-bag and had to backtrack).

Lesson Three: Goals are Good!

For a long time, I was training with this ubiquitous goal of "let's do a triathlon!" Yay! How neato! The reality is, training without real goals was just like running in circles, or swimming against the current, or trying to get out of your bike pedals for the first time over and over and over. I fell easily into disappointment because my only goal was "be better than yesterday" -- it was too simple and it doesn't work (see above!). My near term goal was good -- do a triathlon with Mom. At this point, we can't even sign up, so I don't feel very committed, but at least I have it down. I read some books, but it all seemed so far off. What about tomorrow? What do I do next week?

I work in a software company, and I'm involved a lot in making the decisions that drive our software releases and features. We break things down into things we can do now, things we can do soon, things we can do relatively soon, things we can't do right away but still want to, and high-level goals we want to work toward. I had to start thinking this way with training as well. Break it down -- set some interim goals that get you to your short-term goals but also work toward your long-term goals. Make them simple.

After a while, I ended up thinking in terms of "10 minute mile by May" and "biking to work every day (10 miles)" -- much more tangible goals that still got me to my interim goals, and to my long-term goal. In the end, even my long term goal didn't seem very far off, so I think about new ones (Ironman, anyone?).

Lesson Four: You Don't Have to Work Out Every Day

Let's face it, some of us have this personality element of competitiveness, even if it's just with ourselves. I want to be better. I want to be faster. I want to be stronger. I want to look fit. I want to BE fit. I want to beat my husband at his favorite sport. I want the dog to be tired at the end of our run, I want the cat to massage my back, and I want to eat Godiva chocolates just once in a while without feeling like that red devil guy and that white angel guy on my shoulders are arguing about it. I want my friends to say "this is a casual pace?" when they work out with me. Maybe it's being obsessive compulsive, maybe it's just straight up competitiveness, but some of us just have this urge to push push push (even those of us who aren't giving birth).

Our bodies, however, disagree with our minds. Pushing doesn't sound so good when you are overexerting yourself, but you do it anyway -- no pain no gain, right? Well, yeah, but pain can also mean injury, and worse than that, a distaste for every step, every stroke. Associating negativity with such an important part of your routine makes it way less fun, and when it's not fun, you don't want to do it anymore, and when you don't want to do it anymore, you get frustrated. ARGH, MENTAL BLOCK. In the end, it's better for yourself that you take a step back. Take it easy for a few days. Re-engage.

I fight this a lot. I'm really competitive, somewhere in there. I'm not really competitive outright, but I'm definitely competitive with myself. When I bike with my husband (who is much less active), if he keeps up with me, I feel slow. It's not that I want to kill him (usually), but I feel like that means I have to push harder. Easy there, turbo, let's think about this for a second instead of letting our super competitive side take over (not to mention the whole "killing husband" thing). Pushing yourself: good. Pushing yourself too hard: bad. Remember the goals, remember that we're not racing, remember this is supposed to be FUN.

Lesson Five: HAVE FUN

Yeah, I just said this twice. It's supposed to be fun! I have trouble believing this one myself. Some days I dread getting up the next morning. Sometimes I debate running shorter distances, it's not that different right? Sometimes I hate myself for being tired at 9:30. Sometimes I feel like nobody even cares that I am working my butt off. Sometimes I want the dog to strategize her poop-and-sniff sessions to the middle of the hill, so I can stop. Sometimes I get mad. Mad mad mad. Some days I even say to myself "this is supposed to be FUN? What the fudge was I thinking."

Wait a second, this IS fun. Feeling the adrenaline. Getting rid of some energy. Feeling GOOD. Not having those extra-special cramps so much anymore. Feeling like you're actually awake when you get to work without drinking 10 cups of coffee like the guy a few offices down the way. Not catching anyone's stupid sinus infection, cold, or flu bug anymore. Actually wanting to eat breakfast and start your day off with the cheerios bee or tony the tiger, or someone else from the Magic Cereal Forest (or maybe just the Low Sugar Somewhat Less Magical Cereal and Fruit Forest, or the Energy Bar Jungle).

In the end, I think the mental battles are just as hard, if not harder, than the physical ones. Our bodies are pretty amazing little machines, and our brains are pretty much total mysteries.

(Stepping off the soapbox...)