will be dumped

[shootingstar]

For the past decade, I've become a somewhat boring person --fashion-wise. Just 6 days before I was given this negative news, I had just bought a $80.00 dress shoes on sale. I already had 2 prs. of dress shoes (1 pr. 10 yrs. old while other 3 yrs. old), now I do really need? 10 yrs. pr. will fall apart probably next yr.

Thankfully mortgage paid off last yr. What is slightly daunting is need to work longer (am not at retirement age) because nowadays healthy people live alot longer and therefore there needs to be enough $$$ to live. However, I look to my parents who have lived low-income nearly all their lives plus support a large family...but parents never took any trips/vacations beyond 1 day roundtrip drive. They were incredibly frugal...which probably affected some of us in a good way....as adults in spending habits.

A good friend of mine close to 80 yrs. died suddenly early this winter...which puzzled me since there was nothing to indicate a heart /cardio problem. She retired at 65. A few years later, she sold her condo and rented instead for past 8 yrs. Unfortunately she hinted she was running out of money. This is an university-educated single woman who had middle class professional income jobs all her life.

Smilingcat you're right -- even a general plan is helpful. I'm not (yet) as brave as you yet.
NY bike- I've been unemployed/in-between jobs 3 times in past 3 decades before this latest. In the last time, it was a challenge to limit myself to just 1 coffee per day and snack. No clothing purchases and nothing else to treat myself.....except occasional haircut (I had to look good for interviews) and lots of long bike rides for 2 hrs. daily. Yes, health, a regular routine to get out of bed is needed.

[rebeccaC]

So I think overall the important thing is to take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Bike rides, other exercise, eat well, rely on those people you can trust.

+ a gazillion

shootingstar....having a supportive/caring partner, no mortgage and the needed skills already to find work puts you in a reasonably good position. perhaps, if you can, just taking a brief break from work for awhile and following a passion you have for something can help with the emotional aspect of what you're going through. you may even find something completely different but more satisfying as a new work path to follow. I've always put an emphasis on savings and that would help in case i was going through a layoff or any financial problem. I actually would luv to be able to work full time for a number of non-profits i have done volunteer work with if i was laid off....but then I luv my present job/work/work colleagues too. Acknowledging and accepting the challenges of life rather than becoming upset/worried has helped me go through a long emotional/physical roller coaster this year....giving me more strength of spirit than I would have if i hadn't gone through it though. We can learn a lot about our positive selves and strengths going through difficulties. That's the kind of strength i was referring to in my first post in this thread....

Alex has a note on the kitchen chalkboard that says...'persevere by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live .... when it rains, look for rainbows, when it's dark, look for stars'. that helped me this past year

[Crankin]

As most of you know, my DH quit his very lucrative job last year. He received a good sum when he left, we were already in the process of downsizing when he did this. Still, I was not happy. I stayed not happy for about 3 months, mostly in subtle ways, then it just became the new normal. He enjoyed his summer riding his bike to the farm and interviewed for all kinds of jobs. It was a hard sell for many to understand why he would work for $xx, when he had made $xxxx before. My DH does not look his age, but obviously, he is older. He interviewed with some people that were younger than our kids. He found a company with a different culture than his previous one, doing a new type of position in his field.
I guess what I am saying, is that looking for a job when you are older is different. I had the privilege of quitting my well paid teaching job, going back to school, and then working in a community mental health clinic. But, for sure, I would not have done that if DH was not earning a good sum. Now, all of my colleagues from grad school, including the other older students, have opened their own practices. I could do this and make 3X the amount, but then I'd have to deal with the business aspect and insurance companies. I just can't do it. Yet, sometimes I feel like I am being taken advantage of, doing the work I do, for less than a lot of jobs that don't require so much education and unpaid internships. In the end, being able to work 3.5 days a week, 2 miles from my house trumps it all. My life is infinitely easier and less stressful. I have a little bit of work I do at home, but it's not like the stress of grading hundreds of writing pieces at night, endless committee meetings, and planning.
You have to decide what you really want. For us, it was being able to travel. I still feel occasionally upset tht DH made this choice, but we will be able to do what we have planned, when we both stop working, which will be in about 4 years for him. Since I am older, I am not sure if I will last that long, as that will put me in my late 60s. My choice now, is to decide if i want maybe work 2 days a week after I turn 65, which will involve one more cycle of renewing my license to practice.

[ny biker]

It was a hard sell for many to understand why he would work for $xx, when he had made $xxxx before. My DH does not look his age, but obviously, he is older. He interviewed with some people that were younger than our kids. He found a company with a different culture than his previous one, doing a new type of position in his field.
I guess what I am saying, is that looking for a job when you are older is different.

This is a major concern for me, as we continue to lurch along at my job with funding cuts and uncertainty regarding the future of application I work on and how much the client wants us to be involved that future. I try to develop new skills, but am overwhelmed by how much there is to learn and not knowing where I should really focus my efforts. It is forcing me to think about what I really want to do. I don't think I will ever be able to afford to retire. I will need a new car in a few years and would like to think about moving to a different condo or townhouse in 5 years or so. But as I look into different aspects of software development, the things that interest me seem to be the things that are not the most lucrative. I don't have a plan yet and may not have one for a while. At the same time that I'm overwhelmed by the variety of things that are out there, I'm also encouraged by that variety.

There are no easy answers. Which makes Rebecca's point all the more important... we must find ways to accept the challenges and work through them.