You are lucky you recovered, NY. I would have disliked that chaos, too! Fortunately, our club follows the rules for hiking trips, so if you go ahead of the leader, it's bye, bye. Some of the leaders hated this change when it was instituted for insurance liability, as it's different than a regular bike club, where people just go off on their own, it seems. But, we had only be leading a year when it started, so we didn't care. I give you credit for getting out there, in those conditions, which we are now having today. Yesterday it was cool here.
The thing is, about the anger and riding fast, I would never ride fast or push myself if I didn't ride with DH. I can push myself for short intervals, at the most. On group rides, if I am with people at my level or a bit below/above me, I get an angry competitive spirit, but I always pay for it afterwards, in terms of recovery. It's a battle in my head. I'd like to be faster, but I am not so good with the suffering. Plus, I've been doing some kind of endurance exercise for 35 years, and DH was a slug until about 18 years ago. He played tennis and raquetball, but complained bitterly when I would even suggest taking a walk! After all of this time, I sometimes wish I could be a fat, unhealthy old lady like everyone else my age, but I just can't stop now...