Becoming/being, disabled?

[Catrin]

Pax - this pics are great and yes, you were a baby at the time A very strong baby, in body, mind, soul, and spirit. How could you not be? You were breaking your own glass walls and ceilings. That makes it even more difficult for you when faced with the consequences of your knee. You will persevere however, and find things that you enjoy as much as those activities that your body has a problem with now. That spirit that led you to succeed in firefighting will help you in this as well.

I find your story so inspiring - and your example has really helped me to set aside my own internal problem accepting my own partial impairment with my knee, and increasing foot problems while focusing on finding other things I can do.

[Crankin]

Wow, Pax, you look awesome! And I am pretty sure I didn't look that young at 23.
Again, finding alternatives is the key. During the year my autoimmune/Fibro stuff was bad, I really got into yoga and walking. When the cycling season started again, I did a lot of farm stand and errand rides, riding to my medical appts. As the summer went on, I added in more and more fitness rides, but I put no pressure on myself. The good thing is that attitude stuck with me. It kind of was the impetus to make sure I was not focused on cycling as my only sport.

[Pax]

salsabike - thanks!

Catrin - glad I could help a little. That is the thing I miss most about those days. When I stepped off the rescue or ladder truck, I knew I would be able to help. Stop the bleeding on a car accident victim while offering a little comfort, crawl into a building and search for someone left behind, or even just go to the local schools and show the kids the cool fire truck and watch the dawning on their faces as they realized "she's A GIRL" and then see the HUGE smiles on the faces of a few of the little girls. Absolutely best. job. ever.

Crankin, my mom always said I had the face of an angel... and that it was very misleading. LOL


We will be home to Illinois by the end of August, once we get settle I think I'm going to try yoga. There is an amazing studio nearby that offers classes for people with physical issues, so I think it might be a good place to start to see if I can get some of my flexability back.

[shootingstar]

Very cool, Pax. Actually one of my former jobs was librarian for a provincial govn't regulatory agency on fire code enforcement, fire protection engineering (a specialty engineering area) and firefighting. So our clients including govn't folks, engineering community and fire departments. From a distance I sort of know your world Pax and of course, a ton of info. on physical demands and risks. I also met women firefighters who were the rare ostriches in their large fire depts. 1 of them lauched formally a human rights legal case against a major fire dept..

I also met the rare....Asian-Cnaadian and black firefighters in Metro Toronto. It was so rare at that time... in mid 1980's.

Above has nothing to do with disability post-firefighting, just being part of a time when barriers were being broken down. Some of those barriers are still there.

I wrote this awhile ago and coincidentally I wrote it before I had my concussion: https://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com...ions-for-life/

[Pax]

Nice blog post, SS.

On my shift there was one black guy, they didn't want him there either, so they paired us off for all drills and training. They thought it was hysterical when I had to carry his 6'4" 240lb carcass down a ladder, and they were stunned that I could do it... fellas never seem to understand leverage, they just thought I was freakishly strong.

[emily_in_nc]

Pax, very cool.

I can't imagine being a firefighter. You were and still are fierce! Thank you for sharing your stories with us. And yes, do give yoga a try. It can be very difficult, but any instructor worth his or her salt will work with you and respect/honor your limitations. That's part of what yoga is all about. Namaste!

[Pax]

Namaste, Emily. I got to take some chair yoga when they offered it at work and it was wonderful! The instructor invited me to this studio and said they would do anything they could to help me; I'm pretty excited to give it a try.

[rebeccaC]

Sometimes I wonder if the difficulty with change is we compare what we had with what we have now, and then scare ourselves when we think where this could go in the future. And maybe the better option is embracing the present as we are now with an appreciation that life continually changes, and it can be exciting and cool wherever we are.

thanks sylvia...an excellent suggestion for everyone!!!!!!!! it's not always the circumstances that threaten us but our reaction......

[Pax]

Sylvia - agree about that difficulty, it is a rough go when you start seeing what you can't do anymore. I'm trying to embrace "the new me", but it's a process. I have to grieve a bit for what I lost, but I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel these days.

[rebeccaC]

Wait - I missed something! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

thanks ...it feels good saying it!!!! and one month this coming tuesday.

from the salt lake city thread

after a little over a month of planning, family and friends watched and celebrated Alexandra’s and my marriage last Saturday in Gordes. We’re staying in France this week and then traveling back home to the new journey of sharing our lives together.

btw….thinking I’m not going to be on the net much for a while

…..safe rides for all

[Sylvia]

Crankin, I think this reaction is not uncommon.
RebeccaC, yes things have come a long way.

It doesn't bother me when someone uses the word disabled or even handicapped; they are words with a specific meaning that I'm fine with. But what I find difficult, is when the differences are made out to be much larger than they are. For me, differently abled, or special needs, often become a form of euphemistic labels which still have an emphasis on the difference. When we make differences out to be greater than they are, or place more emphasis on the differences than on the similarities, it is like there is a tie or a bond that we damage. Almost a "you are not like us" even though it is never blatantly stated that way. And so when someone suddenly finds themselves on the receiving end of that, WOW... not only do you have to deal with the physical changes but you have a pile of other stuff as well. Things like pity, or patronizing attitudes, or even being someone's inspiration. And you just want to say STOP because you just want to be accepted as yourself.

I have often wished that my disability were seen as no different than someone who just had to wear glasses to see.
And I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining when I say that, but I do think how we view disabilities could have an impact on how we (as we get older) and others are able to adjust to our limitations.

[rebeccaC]

Lots of e-bikes in this area. I have no problem with those who want to use them for whatever reason and especially when they have a major impact on lessening fossil fuel use like they do in Asia and somewhat less in Europe. For climbing, e-assist kits like the Gruber Assist can give you 70 minutes of 200 watt assist on a regular road bike now with only adding 4 lbs and it will only get better as new technology is developed. I've done some climbing where I could use that now

As much as I enjoy bicycling (for a number of fitness, mental and transportation reasons) if I found bicycling more physically difficult to do then an e-bike for my bicycle transportation use would be where I’d go. There are also other ways I can keep fit and more importantly, keep a spirit of adventure and determination.

[emily_in_nc]

DH has mentioned the possibility of an e-bike for me so I can keep up with him, but honestly, I think we'd do better with a tandem. I just can't get my brain around an e-bike, at least at my age (55). Perhaps in 10, 20+ years, okay, but not yet. I am afraid it would make me lazy, and I want to keep burning as many calories as I can so I can eat all the yummy things I enjoy. E-bikes are heavy, so I am sure I would rely on the motor too much and lose fitness. No thanks, not yet.

[rebeccaC]

DH has mentioned the possibility of an e-bike for me so I can keep up with him....... E-bikes are heavy, so I am sure I would rely on the motor too much and lose fitness.

I have to slow down sometimes now when climbing with Alex....and i enjoy the ride nonetheless

the weight issue has changed a lot with new developments. It's going to get even better with time. There are assist systems that work well for some help with threshold inducing climbs/strong headwinds and much lesser circumstances too Some even fit in the seat tube with a battery in a seatpack and the bike doesn't look any different or handle any differently with the assist off....plus while adding only 5+/- lbs too.