Dear So and So

[Helene2013]

Also we get up at 4:15 a.m. for work. So normally, by 9-9:15pm we're in bed. So that leaves little time to go out or get stuff done as we get home at around 5 p.m. I don't have anyone to mow my grass, clean the house, do my laundry, walk the dogs, etc. So my downtime is used for all of this. Just last night we had to rush home to mow the grass/weed eater before another rain pour came down. We finished at 7 p.m. (in the rain), had a quick bite, took care of pets and then first thing I knew, I was already in bed. Time goes by way too fast. During the week, I have no time for cycling (even less socializing). If I do, it has to be on the trainer at home so I can throw a toy to a dog at same time. At least, doing my gym at home, frees a bit some time for them. And it does not bother me at all as they are a huge part of our lives.

I cannot wait to retire in 2-4 years, sell this home and get something way smaller and less time consuming. Unfortunately, by the time we are retired, probably 3 of the 6 pets (if not more) will be dead (old age and sick). I'm sure I will find that I too, have too much time on my hands.

[emily_in_nc]

I have tons of time on my hands now that I am retired, but I love it and only very rarely feel bored. I am reading lots, blogging, cooking, chatting with friends online, processing photos from our hikes, bike rides, and sight-seeing, and planning our travels. I spend a lot of time outdoors since we're traveling in our motorhome and staying in parks and campgrounds. I do miss going to yoga practice and doing volunteer work with the dog rescue in Playa del Carmen (tho' that was only one day per week, it was still very social), but socializing with friends is a very infrequent thing for us now. When we go back to NC, we do a little socializing, and occasionally we'll meet up with a friend in some other state in our travels, but overall, DH and I are pretty solitary folks. We're friendly to other folks we meet in the campground, but that has never progressed to having drinks or a meal together yet. And we're fine with that.

I used to love going out in the evenings when I was younger, but I hate it now. We take a long walk with our dog after dinner (great for the metabolism), then wind down and start getting ready for bed. We don't watch much TV, but I love a few shows on Create (Chef and the Farmer, America's Test Kitchen, Martha Bakes) and will relax and enjoy them in the evening. I also shower at night rather than in the mornings now since I'm not working.

[Pax]

I miss having a social life. Since moving to FL I haven't met anyone I'd want to socialize with, the activities seem to center on drinking, and while I enjoy my beverages, going out to get sloshed just doesn't appeal. I had hoped once I got back to work that would change, but apparently, I work in the only library in the western hemisphere where the staff are all hard core conservatives. Libraries are normally bastions of liberal, free thinking, social justice type folks, so this is really bizarre.

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

[lph]

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

Bwa-ha-haa! Sorry, Pax, but that was pretty funny... :-D

[Pax]

Bwa-ha-haa! Sorry, Pax, but that was pretty funny... :-D

It actually is pretty funny, it's like living inside a caricature.

[Crankin]

Nice, Pax. I did laugh, but it's not funny.
I also get up super early, between 4:5 and 5:30 AM, even though I don't have to anymore. I go to bed around 10, but I am often in the bed, reading or watching TV at 9. I exercise in the mornings. Sometimes I do laundry. We live in a townhouse now, so no big outdoor work, but I rarely did that before. DH started out loving yard work and gardening, but after he had been cycling awhile, it took up too much time. We hired people for that, too. In Arizona, it was dirt cheap. When we first moved here, DH did it, until like I said, cycling took over our lives.
We don't have pets for the very reason mentioned by Helene. Too much work, time, and responsibility. We did have a cat for 14 years, and when she died, that was it.
Emily, I wish I could be content, like you, but when I totally (and briefly) stopped working, I felt isolated and bereft of connections. I like working part time, as for me, my job is extremely stressful, and hardly anyone does it 5 days a week. I read and exercise, but after 10 years of cycling with the same groups, I haven't made close friends with any of them, except for my friends who are moving. There are 2 other couples we know from AMC that we socialize with occasionally, and I think we may have to up that. We like them, but they won't be traveling with us, like our other friends.
Aromig, I totally feel like you do. It is often easier for me to socialize with men. Of course, I have worked in 2 female dominated fields, but I really notice it in cycling groups. In the winter, less women go on group rides, and I always find a different dynamic. I like the guys I ride with, they are down to earth and interesting. The women are OK, but not friendly, or trying to drop me!

[emily_in_nc]

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

I would much prefer no invitations to those.

[emily_in_nc]

I can't remember which thread it was, this one or Dear So-n-so, or the cycling thread, but I think I jinxed myself. Crankin said she was sick, and I mentioned that I hadn't had a cold since last fall.

DH woke up with a sore throat three days ago, and now I did today. He's been very congested, coughing, blowing nose, and even had one night of chills and sweats (but no body aches or very high fever as with the flu), so I guess that's what I have coming up. Dang it all!

[rebeccaC]

emily....It makes a lot of sense to get well soon since you have hikes and riding and other adventures waiting…...hoping it passes quickly!!!

[Pax]

I would much prefer no invitations to those.

Ditto, Emily. I made it very clear where I stand on issues, now they don't invite me to anything, or really engage with me at all. Far preferable to being privy to their thoughts on Hillary, guns, Muslims, immigrants, stand your ground laws, what Jesus would or would not do...

[shootingstar]

I miss having a social life. Since moving to FL I haven't met anyone I'd want to socialize with, the activities seem to center on drinking, and while I enjoy my beverages, going out to get sloshed just doesn't appeal. I had hoped once I got back to work that would change, but apparently, I work in the only library in the western hemisphere where the staff are all hard core conservatives. Libraries are normally bastions of liberal, free thinking, social justice type folks, so this is really bizarre.

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

Well true, Pax (since I am a librarian by formal training and career-wise, until I switched out nearly a decade ago), libraries should hopefully have staff that are more forward thinking folks in town. What makes people afraid....? That's how I see it..

[Pax]

Well true, Pax (since I am a librarian by formal training and career-wise, until I switched out nearly a decade ago), libraries should hopefully have staff that are more forward thinking folks in town. What makes people afraid....? That's how I see it..

I think they can "get away with it" here because it's a graduate school medical library. The students need little assistance beyond locating things like proper peer reviewed articles, and choosing anatomical models for the correct section they're in.

[shootingstar]

I think they can "get away with it" here because it's a graduate school medical library. The students need little assistance beyond locating things like proper peer reviewed articles, and choosing anatomical models for the correct section they're in.

Ah, those librarians are never faced with the reality of community "standards/values" and censorship, never have to deal with reality diverse information literacy, information gaps with those who don't speak English, never deal with homeless locals who visit the library for a warm place to stay, never deal with people who don't understand basics of govn't structure and how to find information on the 'Net, or even which organization /authority to contact by phone, never deal with helpless poor clients who can't afford a lawyer to deal with divorce, child custody (that's why law librarians might get walk-ins from public), etc.

Information is power and the right information serves to equalize and solve problems.

One doesn't have to work in alternate organizations so I am befuddled why some of the employees are so rigid. They don't want change...

[Pax]

Yes, and the head of the library had only worked in this and a private engineering school library, so he's very accustomed to being in a strongly male environment where his views may have had more traction. He has succeeded in hiring a very conservative staff, none of whom have academic library experience, which why (I'm assuming) he hired me. I actually know how to do the job, and tend to keep my interactions professional.

[Aromig]

I work in a male-dominated field and I find it much easier to socialize with the guys than the girls because its easier (the mean girls are REALLY mean). I do enjoy going to lunch with my work friends, and sometimes we'll have a quick drink (45 minutes or so) after work to socialize. I commute and lose time that way, and am always busy with kid stuff so my work friends satisfy my need to be social yet fits in with my schedule.