Knee surgery

[OakLeaf]

Catrin, hope the extra money will be a small offset of everything you've had to go through ....

I think about how bad it gets and then consider what it would be like if I didn't occasionally have the extra resources to purchase what I need to stay active (trying to do so in regular athletic shoes is almost crippling). It makes me think of other women with similar problems who simply don't have the funds for it - ever - and how easy the couch option then becomes. If everything hurts, at what point do you just give up?

I think about that every single time I get on the table for the hours of bodywork I get every week, almost none of which is covered by insurance. My LMT talks a lot about how he sees people walking around and knows he can help them. It makes me super sad and super angry, actually, that good care is accessible only to those who can afford it, especially when you think about how some people want others to have even less access to care.

Of course if most of my injuries had been competently treated when they happened, I probably wouldn't need the hours and hours I do now. And it's not an unrelated discussion, that there are so many licensed practitioners out there who really have no clue what they are doing, but they stay in business because insurance pays them and because people who are in pain or other types of discomfort seek out whatever treatment they can find.

Sigh.

[Crankin]

A bit off topic, but the same thing happens in my profession. I hear horror stories from my clients. Part of being a professional is admitting that you don't have the expertise to do something.

[Catrin]

My reaction to the "permanent partial impairment" of my leg from the fall has been surprising. It's actually been almost comforting - and it finally dawned on me WHY. As most of you know who have been following my various adventures since joining the forum 6 years ago I tend to always want to push my limits. PART of that is due to the fact that I literally don't get sore like most people seem to that I've observed. It HAS happened, but extremely rarely - not even once a year. No matter how hard/often/intensity level/etc., it just doesn't matter - I don't get muscle soreness. I do get fatigued, but that isn't quite the same thing. So traditionally when I feel something it's actual pain and it's too late. Of course now I've so many arthritic bits and broken parts I get pain - but that isn't the same thing either. At least now my body has found a way to get my attention

My recovery period from the knee surgery has been frustrating because there has been that little internal voice that I'm just being too easy on myself, not pushing hard enough, giving in, etc. The official notification that I've a permanent partial disability has actually served to shut up that internal voice for the most part and "given me permission" in a way to look at different options to stay active. It was also a surprise to read the actual DX for the impairment on the workman's comp settlement papers:

"Right knee pateltofemoral condyle tearing. Medial femoral condyle tearing of the articular surface"

Youch, no wonder I still can't walk quite right - though the arthroscopy and lateral release DID improve things, fortunately. I think that perhaps I am lucky that it isn't worse, not combined with patellofemoral arthritis.

So I am grateful it isn't worse - and the impairment would be far worse if the surgery hadn't helped as much as it did. So the point here is to listen to your body...

[Crankin]

I can't imagine not feeling sore! I am the opposite from you, and my need to pay attention to rest, recovery, and stretching is increasing exponentially, as I age. I can feel sore from taking a 2 mile walk, despite all of the the stuff I do. I hate this.
Something makes me think that a lot of really good athletes don't feel pain and soreness until it's really bad. My son who raced was like this, and I think it has a lot to so with the ability to endure a high level of suffering.

[OakLeaf]

Hang in there Catrin. Your determination definitely has both positive and negative effects on you - way to emphasize the positive!