Mother Dearest,

[Pax]

When my mom came home to IL she expected to step back into the life she'd left there 25 years before. But we all had our own very separate lives... I finally had to sit her down and tell her some hard truths, my brother and I will NEVER get along, so no matter how much she wanted to recreate that old Leave It To Beaver life she remembered, it wasn't going to happen.

[nuliajuk]

I'd rather chew off my right arm than ever live with my mother again. Unfortunately, my older brother has talked my sister into doing just that. From a financial standpoint it makes sense, as she's on disability due to mental health problems and can contribute a bit to running the household. From the standpoint of her problems, it's a terrible idea. My mother isn't the exclusive cause of my sister's mental health issues, but she definitely contributed to them. Of course, our brother is blissfully unaware of this - he was the golden child who could do no wrong growing up.

[Crankin]

All the more reason your sister should not be there...

[shootingstar]

A sister of mine should get surgery/hysterectomy for a large fibroid (she looks pregnant) at the urging of her gynaeceologist. But no, she is under the pull of helping my mother every weekend. Not healthy.

It gets complicated when one has family members across Canada in different jurisdictions in terms of future care...different laws in different jurisdictions. My concussion earlier this winter proved how important it was to have at least 1-2 local friends/family.

[Crankin]

After reading some of these comments, I greatly appreciate my mom. Not that I didn't before, but as my brother and I have discussed, we had "good (normal) parents."

[salsabike]

I always appreciated mine too, so did my siblings. She died when I was 26, and had cancer off and on with aggressive treatment since I was 10. She's been gone over 19 years, now.

Oh, Sheila. I'm sorry. That's pretty tough.

[Crankin]

That is a nice tribute, Murienn. My mom died 2 days after I turned 43. She was only 67, and everyone in her family lives until their 90s. She found out she had an autoimmune liver disease when she was about 55. She got so sick, eventually, that she had a liver transplant, and at one point before that, even spent 2 months in the hospital, to make her condition look "worse" than it was, to get a transplant. That didn't work. About 6 months later, she had the transplant, but she never regained her health, all kinds of rejection issues, and heart issues, resulting from heavy duty meds. Thankful that my kids spent a lot of time with her as young children. One of her last words of advice was that DH and I needed to develop a common interest; our kids were in 6th and 8th grade when she died, and about 3 years later, DS started riding. We found our common interest!
I will feel better when I live past age 67.

[emily_in_nc]

I am very, very fortunate as I have a wonderful mother. She's 80 now (81 on Nov. 2) and still doing very well both physically (for her age) and mentally. She cooks like crazy for us when we visit, and we share a lot of laughs and discussions, though we are very different in some ways since she's never been athletic and doesn't get the cycling, running, etc. I do AT ALL. But we do both love books and good food and birds and gardening, and HGTV. Sure, she drives me crazy at times: she can be a bit controlling, a worrywort, etc. But I love her dearly, and I just don't know what I'm going to do without her when she's gone as she is my best friend in so many ways.

[rebeccaC]

But I love her dearly, and I just don't know what I'm going to do without her when she's gone as she is my best friend in so many ways.

me too.....i don't even want to think about her not being here to share a conversation, even a good one about a strong disagreement, and a cup of tea while overlooking the mountains surrounding the family home. my parents shouldn't ever need any financial help but i'd be happy to provide it and my time if ever needed and i'd do it with love cuz of all the emotional support, understanding and unconditional love they have given me throughout my life. at 58/60 and both in excellent health my parents should be around for a long time to come though.........that's always one of my prayers

working with a non-profit, with some of my time....i'm working on more severe dysfunctional families, concentrating on the consequences on the girls/women......the kind of thing my mother instilled in me and would say is good for my soul..

[smilingcat]

embarrassed for posting. Train wreck. move along move along nothing to see here.

Terribly sorry for the post.