Helicopter parents

[Crankin]

Why do my posts worry you? I was the mom who didn't attend games, unless I wanted to. When I went, I often was grading papers (because that's what teachers do on the weekends or after school). My younger son called me out on that, but when I told him that it was either work at the game, or not go, he was fine. I only went to bike races for DS #2 when I became a cyclist. I didn't go to the games because I couldn't stand the parents. All they did was talk about their kids' teachers and I do remember my principal at Shrewsbury Middle School saying "the soccer field is the most deadly place in the world," because of parental gossip. Teach your kids to be resilient and they will be fine. Those other parents are getting their own personal self-worth from their kids, so no wonder they say "we." That is so unhealthy.
If my kids had ended up as criminals or were otherwise unfit, I wouldn't comment. They were not perfect, but as I often say, maybe we set the bar low, but nobody ended up in jail. No one used drugs or got caught drinking in the woods, set the HS auditorium on fire, or tried to set their home on fire while their parents were inside. Yes, all of those things happened at ABRHS while my kids went there. Just be true to yourself.

[Aromig]

The posts about your kids didn't worry me, but the post about 40% increase in mental health issues for kids in college was troubling. I guess my point was that I've always presumed you had to be a REALLY bad parent one way or another for kids to not overcome "issues" since I think kids are generally resilient but it does sound like a lot of people are messing it up lately. I agree with you -- I think parents often do too much and then their kids haven't learned coping skills and are ineffective adults.

I think our parenting styles are very similar. I think the best thing I can do for my kids is to set an example. I'm independent, I have my own life (that doesn't just revolve around the kids) and I make my own happiness. I'd love for them to do the same. Your kids seemed to turn out OK (and you appear to have a good relationship with them), I hope it works that way for mine too. I'll have to resist the urge to give in to the "well, if my kids want to be competitive, I'll have to do their stuff for them like the other parents do."

It's also nice to know that I'm not the only one who can't stand the gossiping parents at games....