Oldest person that you knew personally & their quality of life

[shootingstar]

I'm sorry to hear Oak that your FIL was left in that situation.

Attendant care in Canada is not freely available in that way. It's subsidized for low income patients for certain illnesses. ..if you live in a city where there is such support services. It's contracted private service which ranges from ok to awful...depending on what companies have been contracted by public health care system. My father did have the choice, and my doctor -sister did float that idea..but it was too much for them to wrap their head. So my mother did what she could but in the end, it was better he was in the hospital. Last few wks., of life, his skin was very painful/sensitive to anyone touching him.

So my siblings (I live 3,000 km. west and did fly twice over a 4 month period to be with my father) took turns spending many hrs. in the same hospital rm. where he was.. by just being there. That is the best situation because there's professional nursing care and physicians immediately available, with the comfort presence of at least 1 family member on any day. Several of my siblings work in different hospitals within a 20 min. walk in downtown Toronto. This is the advantage of having several family members live in the same city as the dying parent...if the adult-children care about their parent.

People have to realize the psychological and physical strain on your primary family caregiver member if you choose to die at home over a long period of time. This is not something that my mother would have been able to cope with at all since she herself moves slowly, etc. and psychologically for traditional Chinese, they don't deal with death in the greatest way....my personal opinion.

Of course, depending where one lives, type of health care system, cost and hospital bed/long term care availability, there may be no choice but to be at home.

It was frustrating for my siblings to see my father try to pull himself out of bed. But he couldn't because of his weakened state.

Still, the excellent health of my father despite his cancer, was an inspiration to us.... I can't imagine if he had respiratory, heart problems or weight problems on top of his cancer. But he didn't have any of these problems prior nor during his 5-yr. long cancer years.

So he had very high quality of life with cancer right up to the final year of his life.

This is what I mean: Do all that you can now and for upcoming decades to look after your health. You still may not be able to avoid certain illnesses, but at least preventable medical disorders won't make your primary illness more complex to treat.