Oldest person that you knew personally & their quality of life

[shootingstar]

My efforts to remain reasonably healthy long-term aren't because I dislike aging. Now I just believe that in order for me to minimize difficulties and pain of aging/towards latter years in life, is that I need to be healthy. My recent concussion and rehab., made me realize that although rehab was long enough, my recovery to move around, etc. was made easier because I had been healthy prior to my accident.

I don't want to flagellate myself for at least not trying at all to be healthy.

When I was at the intensive care unit last year, where my 85- yr. old father was before he was moved to palliative care and died 4 wks. later, there was signage on his hospital floor all over the place, for patients, to move around to remain healthier. Even if moving around meant just walking the hospital hallways ...

Most certainly administering heavy doses of chemotherapy on frailer/older folks in their 80's onward, will weaken them and make it very hard for them to be "stronger" later. It's a serious compromise on their immune system.

[OakLeaf]

there was signage on his hospital floor all over the place, for patients, to move around to remain healthier.

Ah, Canadian health care ...

That was one of the biggest problems with my FIL's care. Medicare and his gap coverage would only pay for one home care attendant. MIL, a bit younger but still in her late 80s, there was no way she could give the attendant any help in getting him out of bed and helping him walk, or later, transferring him to a wheelchair. They could have afforded to pay a second attendant out of pocket ... but to bypass insurance rules, they would have had to go outside any agencies and hire privately, they didn't know anyone who could refer them, and they weren't inclined to hire some random person out of the back of an ad circular (for which I don't blame them one little bit). The result was that he only got out of bed twice a week when the PT came, or when DH came the 500 miles to visit. IIRC, once it was clear that he wasn't going to get better, the PT was discontinued too, since most insurance will only pay for therapy to improve someone's condition, not to keep it from deteriorating. It was heart-wrenching to watch him go downhill for the simple fact that no one was available to get him out of bed.

[shootingstar]

I'm sorry to hear Oak that your FIL was left in that situation.

Attendant care in Canada is not freely available in that way. It's subsidized for low income patients for certain illnesses. ..if you live in a city where there is such support services. It's contracted private service which ranges from ok to awful...depending on what companies have been contracted by public health care system. My father did have the choice, and my doctor -sister did float that idea..but it was too much for them to wrap their head. So my mother did what she could but in the end, it was better he was in the hospital. Last few wks., of life, his skin was very painful/sensitive to anyone touching him.

So my siblings (I live 3,000 km. west and did fly twice over a 4 month period to be with my father) took turns spending many hrs. in the same hospital rm. where he was.. by just being there. That is the best situation because there's professional nursing care and physicians immediately available, with the comfort presence of at least 1 family member on any day. Several of my siblings work in different hospitals within a 20 min. walk in downtown Toronto. This is the advantage of having several family members live in the same city as the dying parent...if the adult-children care about their parent.

People have to realize the psychological and physical strain on your primary family caregiver member if you choose to die at home over a long period of time. This is not something that my mother would have been able to cope with at all since she herself moves slowly, etc. and psychologically for traditional Chinese, they don't deal with death in the greatest way....my personal opinion.

Of course, depending where one lives, type of health care system, cost and hospital bed/long term care availability, there may be no choice but to be at home.

It was frustrating for my siblings to see my father try to pull himself out of bed. But he couldn't because of his weakened state.

Still, the excellent health of my father despite his cancer, was an inspiration to us.... I can't imagine if he had respiratory, heart problems or weight problems on top of his cancer. But he didn't have any of these problems prior nor during his 5-yr. long cancer years.

So he had very high quality of life with cancer right up to the final year of his life.

This is what I mean: Do all that you can now and for upcoming decades to look after your health. You still may not be able to avoid certain illnesses, but at least preventable medical disorders won't make your primary illness more complex to treat.