Oldest person that you knew personally & their quality of life

[OakLeaf]

My first husband's grandmother died a few months after her 100th birthday. Most of her mind was already gone and she was living in a nursing home by the time I met her. I wish I'd had a chance to know her, she was an active and independent woman, very unusual for her time. At least it seemed her physical health was good.

My FIL died a few weeks short of his 96th birthday. He stayed mentally sharp well into his 90s, though less so in his last 2-3 years. His physical health was reasonably good too, but his last few months were very difficult. Really the poster child for both advance directives and home care reform, not that anyone in the family got the message.




I have to say: with the exception of my mom, EVERY old person whom I've known well enough to have that sort of conversation with, has told me, "Don't get old." And I discount my mom, just because her level of denial of, well, just about everything, is nothing short of breathtaking. EVERY other one has told me the same thing, in those exact words, including people who present an active, contented face to the world. Those conversations influenced me pretty strongly in some of the decisions I've made and am continuing to make.