Thread Drift

[OakLeaf]

Meh, I'd rather see tax rates made fairer between wealthy vs working people, than set people against each other based on their differing family situations.

When DH and I first got together, his income was literally ten times mine, and I was paying a higher overall tax rate. Things haven't changed substantially since then. When people with children can afford to pay for their day care without taking a third job, then *maybe* I'll worry about what they pay in taxes.

[Pax]

Actually, married couples without kids get a substantial tax break.

We learned this when we got to file as married for the first time this year, we got an extra $800 back over what we would have gotten filing as single.

[salsabike]

.....when we got to file as married for the first time this year.....

Pax, .

[katluvr]

I am only 51 but seriously want to retire! I have been working in health care since I was 19. Just tired of work. I want to play. And play before I get too old to enjoy. Tired of healthcare politics, cut backs, hierarchy in hospitals, etc. Planning to see a financial planner soon and look at what is possible between me and my SO (soon to be "wife"--another topic!). So since I have a variable schedule now, I am off during the week when it's my weekend to work. So today I am bit bored. Why? Well I need to clean the house and I don't' want to. So I procrastinate. I think if I was "retired" I would have plenty of things to do, not just house chores but then I could plan activities and with people off during the week. I am pretty sure I"ll go part-time or retire before my SO, even if I am younger. But every now and then I think how important it is to have a semi-schedule and activities to keep one busy and active. I'm not sure work is what I need to give me a long life.
So if I didn't feel guilty that I SHOULD be cleaning house or doing something productive on my day off, I would probabablly not be "bored" or procrastinating or wasting time surfing on the computer!
As for volunteer work, I am not sure about that either. I have a friend who retired and she now works as a volunteer at our hospital. Sure she rounds with the play cart and give toys, etc to the kids. But I think if I quit the hospital I would not volunteer there. I have another couple of RN friends who now do a volunteer program specifically for nurses who have retired. They do some of the hands on care, shaving, ambulating, feeding of patients. Things nurses no longer have time to do. Although worthwhile, I too, feel like that is free-labor. And volunteering at an animal shelter is way to dangerous for me!!

K

[Crankin]

Back to a previous topic.
It appears that there is likely going to be a "celebration of life" gathering for the ex-bf who committed suicide last month. It's being put together by the same woman who worked with him on our "60th birthday year celebration/not reunion," in 2013. I didn't know her as a kid, but she seems lovely. She lives out of state, but is up for planning this with the other person who helped before, someone I do know.
It's going to be the day after I get back from France, which will be tough. However, my question is, should I bring DH? It's not a reunion, although it will feel like one. DH has been to 3 other reunions with me and fits in quite well with this crowd. DH met him several times and welcomed him into our home. It just feels a bit weird to me. And, depending on who is there, it might get weirder.

[OakLeaf]

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Death Café (highly recommended, AFAIC there's just a crying need for such denial-free zones in our culture) - but anyway, one of the participants, who works at a funeral home, mentioned a statistic that 65% of attendees at funerals didn't know the deceased. They go to support the bereaved. I don't see any reason why your DH shouldn't go. If it does get weird, you'll probably be glad for his presence, no?

[Crankin]

I think you are right, Oak. After a few FB messages last night, it is still up in the air if this thing will happen.
But, the best thing is, that my close friend, who lives in Richmond, VA is coming up the same weekend. I have not seen her since January, 1972. We will go together, if it happens, so it might be a moot point, about DH. He probably would not think it strange if I went with her, and our other good friend, who lives not so far from me.
I guess I am just afraid that if I am asked to speak, I might get emotional, and while I know DH would not take it the wrong way, I guess I like to keep the different parts of my life separate. In the end, it doesn't really matter. If anything, all of this has given me a chance to reconnect more with my roots, something I never could have predicted, even 15 years ago. I denied this part of my life for so long, when, in reality, this was the part of my life that had the most influence on me.