Thread Drift

[SheFly]

I went back and looked at the string of last texts from him. I should have seen something in some of those.

This is normal survivor guilt, but you need to let it go. I spent years after my high school boyfriend committed suicide in the guilt cycle. In the end, I was finally able to realize that there wasn't anything different that I could have done for him. Instead of feeling the guilt, enjoy the memories that you do have. Honor him with your bike ride, and be glad that you were able to reconnect and enjoy your friendship.

SheFly

[OakLeaf]

(((((Crankin)))))

SheFly has good advice. Thinking of you. Hope your DH feels better soon, for both of your sake.

[Catrin]

{{{{Crankin}}}} hang in there, SheFly is spot-on, not what we need to tell you that. Sending you warm thoughts of comfort and strength in this difficult time and hope your DH feels better soon!

[Crankin]

Yeah, I know what it is, and really, it's not *bad* survivor's guilt. My clinical radar has been up since February, when he texted me the day the divorce was final. Now, he initiated it, but I think he was scared sh!tless, and was also a little used to playing the victim. I told him to call me if he needed to talk, and within 10 seconds of that text, he called and asked how I felt when I got divorced. I told him it was comparing apples and oranges, as I was 23 years old and barely felt married, just mad at myself for getting into that mess. I think he was so distraught over his adult daughters not talking to him and telling him he was evil, causing them go into therapy. He was not allowed to go to the younger one's college graduation. He sold his company a few years ago, spent the $ supporting his parents, and couldn't find a job. Enough to cause anyone to be hopeless.
I am fine, looking forward to a great riding weekend here in Boston.

[Catrin]

...
I am fine, looking forward to a great riding weekend here in Boston.

Have fun, it looks like the weather will be great! I am considering trying out my new brace on a gentle set of dirt hiking trails for a mile or two this weekend myself.