Thread Drift

[Crankin]

I don't like the fact my mom missed seeing my kids grow up into wonderful adults. She was very close to them, despite the distance. I am glad they spent a lot of time together when they were very young, and we lived in AZ and my parents were in San Diego.
On the other hand, my mom has been gone for almost 20 years. She was way too young to die, but she had been sick for awhile, which kind of prepared me. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me, in that I don't really "miss" her, in the way most people describe. We had a good relationship and she was a good parent. But, I've been on my own since age 17, with only 3 years living in the same town since then. When I think of my mom, it's always in a good way, like what she would think of a particular thing, or i can hear her laughing about something. It is exactly what she would have wanted; she would not have wanted crying and sadness. I do find myself missing my phone conversations with my dad, who died in September, despite the fact we had never been that close. On a good note, his death has brought me closer with my brother, and I talk to him pretty often now.

[OakLeaf]

Hugs to all of you.

[Trek420]

Hugs to all of you.

More hugs to all. Almost a year since my mom died. We lost dad 10 years ago and I miss him every day.

[shootingstar]

On another cycling forum today, a guy was wondering when he visits, what to say to his dying brother who just found out he had liver cancer. My response was: Just let go now, of whatever barriers there maybe between the 2 of you....

Like others here, I miss some family members. My sister who we suddenly lost almost 5 years ago, my father just last year... Right now, I'm dealing with lack of sleep (nearly 4 consecutive nights of no sleep except for 3 hrs. in total), because of messed up sleeping cycles due to head injury recovery, thoughts of the past, etc. Prescribed drug is not the greatest thing for me..1 drug caused a heart tightness when withdrawal symptoms occurred.

Hoping for baby sleep soon..

[salsabike]

Shootingstar, lack of sleep can be so miserable. Hoping you have some most-loved music and/or books that soothe you.

[shootingstar]

Still working on the sleep thing --to be drug-free as much as possible.

I did go for my lst slow bike ride almost 3 months since my injury. Went half a km. in the warm sunshine and clear dry pavement. It felt victorious...! The pathway was too crowded with cyclists and walkers at that time of day so I turned around to go home.

[Crankin]

Good work, Shoooting Star. You might find that as you get back into riding, the sleep issue may diminish.
Ah, warm sunshine and clear, dry pavement.

[Pax]

I don't like the fact my mom missed seeing my kids grow up into wonderful adults. She was very close to them, despite the distance. I am glad they spent a lot of time together when they were very young, and we lived in AZ and my parents were in San Diego.
On the other hand, my mom has been gone for almost 20 years. She was way too young to die, but she had been sick for awhile, which kind of prepared me. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me, in that I don't really "miss" her, in the way most people describe. We had a good relationship and she was a good parent. But, I've been on my own since age 17, with only 3 years living in the same town since then. When I think of my mom, it's always in a good way, like what she would think of a particular thing, or i can hear her laughing about something. It is exactly what she would have wanted; she would not have wanted crying and sadness. I do find myself missing my phone conversations with my dad, who died in September, despite the fact we had never been that close. On a good note, his death has brought me closer with my brother, and I talk to him pretty often now.

I feel the same way about my dad as you do your mom, they had lived in FL for twenty years and I only saw him a couple of times a year, we talked on the phone and had a wonderful relationship but I don't exactly "miss" him since he wasn't part of my day to day life. The difference with mom is that she was omnipresent after we moved her home when dad died. I think that makes missing her more real for me.

[SheFly]

I totally feel for all of you. I am approaching the 6th anniversary of losing my younger brother, and I miss him every day. Also coming up on three years since I lost my grandma, who was a major influence in my life. There are lots of days when the ache is pretty deep - often for seemingly no reason at all. I am lucky to still have both my parents.

Hugs to all of you.

SheFly

[salsabike]

Oh SheFly, that's a tough one about your younger brother.

My parents were supercool folks--smart, wise, funny, active, delightful. A year or two ago, I posted this picture of them on FB, and the number of friends and family from around the country who say, "Oh, I LOVED your parents so much!" was just a delight to see. I was lucky to have them as my parents.

I think it's natural to miss and simultaneously enjoy memories of people you loved. Pax, it does get less painful and more enjoyable with time.

[Crankin]

In 2013, I went to a party celebrating the communal 60th birthday year of the people in my class. Over and over again, friends from my childhood told my DH that my mom was "so beautiful, so sweet, nice." I was kind of getting sick of hearing it! She was beautiful, she looked like Audrey Hepburn. I think a lot of the comments stemmed from the fact that she was very different from the other suburban, Jewish women of her generation. She put on her jeans and rode bikes with me!