Crazy Condo Neighbors

[shootingstar]

This thread confirms that my "retirement dream" is a 1 story on an acre or two in the desert. No lawn/trees to maintain and no neighbors breathing down my neck. We're currently in an unmemorable subdivision (.25-.4 acre lots) with far too many nosey and cliquey people who are very concerned with keeping up appearances and I feel a not-too-subtle competitive vibe over who has the nicest house and the best cars (one look in our garage confirms that we would not win the car competition, but no one can hold a candle to our 2-wheeled collection, heh). The guy who bought the house next-door (and put it up for sale 6 months later) had his lot tilled...but the landscapers ignored lot lines and drove over at least half of the native wildflower seeds I'd planted the Summer before. He never planted an actual lawn and only about once/month mowed the weeds, so it's been a constant battle to keep his yard from encroaching on ours -- and I really loathe dealing with a lawn, much less even faster-growing weeds and the chemicals necessary to keep them from killing our grass and settling into my flower beds.

Yeah, I really find myself wanting to become a hermit more and more. DH feels the same way. We're both homebodies who are happy riding our bikes and vegging on the sofa in front of Netflix. The vast majority of our socialization involves other runners and cyclists.

I like some of our condo board members..they are diligent. We also have a good staff member with the property management firm that our condo building pays annually for their services. You need a permanent good paid staff member from such a firm for this work.



We seriously have to face reality of our future: we will no longer be able to drive nor should we in our 80's and onward. It's just dangerous to others. It's easier to change our transportation habits now....even a life without bikes, one day.

Hey folks...I haven't cycled for past 2.5 months (and there's no snow right now) because of my recovery from head injury. We have no car (and not advisable to drive with a head injury). So I've been walking daily, building my strength, using transit. Bike will come later. And I'm not elderly and still working full-time. (But it freaks me out that I qualify for over 55 developments.) I walked to and from my doctor's office today. 2 days ago it was another 20 min. walk to physio or I could take transit train there in lousy weather.

If all else fails, a short taxi ride.


But we're hermits. We don't socialize...meaning visit homes of other condo owners in same building. We just say hi in elevator stuff. Honest in a multi-unit buildings there's less of that type of nosey, cliquey stuff. In my opinion where I've lived. And I've sensed, I've lived beside some good neighbours but just never made an effort to know them. Ok, by us. As long as one is a responsible owner and makes little noise most of the time.

I live in both nice neighbourhoods in both cities. May I remind people that actually having some retired but still active condo/townhouse owners, some people have just abit more time to care for stuff in general. In Toronto I lived in such a building.

Here where I live our community neighbour association has a board of which over 50% are retired people who had professional/management jobs or are university/college educated prior to retirement....so they make good public speakers, organizers and taking time to understand legal/development matters, think through complex issues, provide some evidence, and document some stuff.

[Crankin]

I have never been friends with neighbors, and I love to socialize. Well, I take that back, we are friends with the couple who used to share our driveway; they sold the house to their daughter and family, and while we have tried with them (they ride, etc), we actually have more in common with the parents, who are older than us. We had one neighbor in AZ we socialized with. It started out with more, but the other family got religion and wouldn't talk to us because we didn't celebrate Christmas, enough said there. But overall, not friends, but friendly, would do favors for neighbors in my last neighborhood, although they were a toned down version of the Stepford wives. I've never cared what people think, so it was fine. I see some of my ex neighbors in the grocery store or around town and they are friendly. The people where I live now are just clueless. The younger ones are totally helicopter parents and the older ones a bit too crunchy granola for me (that is being nice). I have my riding friends and my "regular" friends, and that is fine. I made the mistake of giving my opinion about something and I was given an "inappropriate" warning on the list serve, because I put out deer scram, an organic powder made of chili powder/ dried coyote urine, to keep the deer from eating my hostas! They didn't flame the ones who said they were all for the "culling of the herd," where we individually sign off to allow bow hunters on our property to shoot the deer, as we have a huge over population. Nor did anyone flame those who commented that all they got from deer was Lyme Disease. I suspect someone just doesn't like me, but since I no longer go to any neighborhood things, it seems weird.

[zoom-zoom]

Yeah, we have 2-3 couples/families in our 'hood that we really like, several families that we've never laid eyes on (we were one of the first homes built and have been here 2 years...several families have only been here a couple months). I suspect they're like us and value their privacy. Then the remainder (of about 22 homes) are sorta Desperate Housewives. Most of these families have kids that are significantly younger than our son, so we're in somewhat different places in life (though at least one family appears to view our 14 year old as a free babysitter, which doesn't sit well with me. The dad seemed actually put-out that once school started our son wasn't out hanging and supervising with the younger kids, but 8th graders have serious homework and school responsibilities, plus he was running cross country and busy with that).

And I think a lot of these folks went to school together, too -- definitely a feel that quite a few of these couples have known one-another for decades. When we have gone to neighborhood gatherings there's a pretty significant cliquey vibe coming from a particular group. We didn't grow up around here and avoid some of the local yokel drama.

[shootingstar]

Maybe having children, encourages interactions with neighbours who may also have children. I must be living under a rock for the last few decades because I don't get involved neighbour shenanigans. Nor have I experienced the nosey/gossipy, asset-comparing type of folks. I think most of the residents in my building want to be like us, friendly but private. Several people seem to have some jobs overseas or they are ex-pats from somewhere but working in Canada. I live in Canada's city with oil and gas company headquarter offices here.

Weird as this may seem, but living 2 blocks away from major park with jogging, walking and cycling path helps keeps us all saner. That's what I think.

[Trek420]

We seriously have to face reality of our future: we will no longer be able to drive nor should we in our 80's and onward. It's just dangerous to others. It's easier to change our transportation habits now....even a life without bikes, one day.

This. When we were house hunting I put Knot in charge of location because she knows the area. I got veto powers. I just had a few requirements, just a few;

Walkable to at least a few of the errands we run.
Near public transit options.
Bike able at least for as long as we're able to ride.
And if possible not a lot of stairs or single floor.
Dirt. At least some patch of dirt I can plant on, even small.

While walking the mutt we found a tiny condo that met all my non-negotiable demands. It's a short walk to stores, right on major bus lines and soon light rail will be close. There goes the anonymity of the Internet but we're right off the Burke Gillman so we can't be more walkable/bike able than that! Ground floor end unit gives me dirt on all 3 sides.

I believe it's best when choosing a place to live to factor aging options because we never know. Having worked in services for the disabled for a decade. Many do not plan to become disabled. Particularly I remember one conversation with a client saying "I was once like you. A high paying job, nice apartment and car, lots of activities and then this car crash happened." And there were so many who became disabled at work.

So I felt it worth considering as we looked that whether it's 6 weeks in a cast because I broke my leg skiing or a sudden permanent disability could I get to the bathroom if something happened? Could I get around when I decide not to drive?

So we're not leaving no matter how nuts my neighbor is. We found out that there was another owner she pushed out. Deeply religious she objected to the fact that this couple was living together unmarried. I don't know what happened but she harassed them to the point they sold and left.

We're married! What's her problem?

[Pax]

The criteria for our condo in FL was similar, zero stairs was a non negotiable for me and with this TKA I'm so glad we didn't waver on that. Our place is first floor, no stairs, walkable/bikeable to almost everything, and on the water. The water part was negotiable because of money but we lucked out.

[Helene2013]

Now we have this big nice house. Good neighbours all around...but for this wacko on one side but we try to ignore him. Wife is ok but him...ish...weird things in his mind! oh well, can't have it all.

But funny this discussion taking a turn as we too are retiring in about 5 years and our criterias are changing for housing. No more stairs, or very minimal. With my knee issues, it will not get better. Also, tired of always being up/down 3 levels (including basement) when you want to get something.

We are thinking selling our home and being full-timers in our motorhome. Summer somewhere in Canada and 7 months somewhere in the States where it is warm. Hubby is more insecure and would like to keep a foot inside somewhere. I'm not sure I want to pay to maintain a home when 7 months you are not using it (on top of paying for someone to remove the snow, visit to make sure all is ok - insurance obliged!), etc. But we'll need to make sure that wherever we live, there are on one-floor, near hospital services (we can't ignore that we will be using more those services as we age), bus service or taxis available for days we no longer will be able to drive, no more rural home area, etc. It is a lot to ask but at the same time Canada is so big I am sure we will find a new place to live in that will meet all of standards. Right now it is harder because of our 3 dogs and 3 cats. But dealing with a geriatric home (4 pets out of 6 are over 10 years old), we are sure that by retirement, 3 of them will be gone, if not 4 of them. We'll be only 57 then, so still young. But you never know what the future holds for you and I want to be ready.

But right now, I enjoy what I have have and only wished I started road cycling many years ago. But then again, we've always did sports, just different ones. Now we're hook to cycling but who knows what we will like in 5 years. We change with time and adapt to new realities too.

[shootingstar]

. But we'll need to make sure that wherever we live, there are on one-floor, near hospital services (we can't ignore that we will be using more those services as we age), bus service or taxis available for days we no longer will be able to drive, no more rural home area, etc. It is a lot to ask but at the same time Canada is so big I am sure we will find a new place to live in that will meet all of standards. Right now it is harder because of our 3 dogs and 3 cats. But dealing with a geriatric home (4 pets out of 6 are over 10 years old), we are sure that by retirement, 3 of them will be gone, if not 4 of them. We'll be only 57 then, so still young. But you never know what the future holds for you and I want to be ready.

No doubt this thread, probably sounds positively geriatric to some readers (who haven't spoken up at all yet.)
However I have been living in a 1-level condo unit, ever since I was 32 yrs. old. I'm not a great housekeeper, am not into gardening, so it just suits me. Yes, of course, there has to be storage space for bikes.

No doubt Helene, you and hubby will land on place. Maybe a medium size city with amenities. Will it be outside or within Quebec? Your rv home..will depreciate over time. Not appreciate. It's a home vehicle. However maybe other TE members, have more info., on assessed value of a rv.

Trek, what I have now is a short-term disability. A few days after my injury, I had to ask for go-cart transport assistance at the airport in Jan. because I could not walk a significant distance through crowds of people. It was an effort to get my request met because....I don't look elderly nor frail.

More likely, some of us later may accidentally fall and break /sprain a limb. So we have to find ways to deal with daily living. I couldn't shower for the first 3 days after my injury. I was afraid of falling in the shower. Going up and down stairs at that time: not for me.

[Helene2013]

Nah...not a geriatric thread. Just one deviating once in a while from point A to B. hihi

Oh we know a VR is not an investment. Thus the need to not go out once our home is sold to buy the biggest RV on the market. It would be ridiculous as one day, we may need to go back to a "real" home/condo/whatever and that would be money lost. So we need to be "frugal" in the way we'll be using that type of living. We currently have a motorhome (a class A 34 feet). It is ok to travel a few months a year. We don't need bigger. But if we are going to live in this box year-around, it needs to have wider space, which means slide-outs. Not only one like we have now. For vacationing it is great. For living 24/7/365...not sure.

We are thinking getting out of QC. We were looking for either Ontario or Alberta. But no big towns, nor suburbs. Like you said, mid-size towns, even smaller ones (but not small that they don't even have a store or gas station, or require a car to get anywhere hihi). Like where we live now. About 8,000 people, but the city is so wide-spread that we are 8km from a grocery store, etc. We have only 1 bus in the morning and one back from Montreal downtown in the evening - week days only. So we need better services when we're retired.

Only thing that scares me is that if we decide to move into a condo. You truly need to love your neighbours are they are very close. In a motorhome, if you don't like them, you can ask to move to another spot, or just leave and go to another campground. haha Not so easily done if you bought the condo.

[shootingstar]

We are thinking getting out of QC. We were looking for either Ontario or Alberta. But no big towns, nor suburbs. Like you said, mid-size towns, even smaller ones (but not small that they don't even have a store or gas station, or require a car to get anywhere hihi). Like where we live now. About 8,000 people, but the city is so wide-spread that we are 8km from a grocery store, etc. We have only 1 bus in the morning and one back from Montreal downtown in the evening - week days only. So we need better services when we're retired.

Only thing that scares me is that if we decide to move into a condo. You truly need to love your neighbours are they are very close. In a motorhome, if you don't like them, you can ask to move to another spot, or just leave and go to another campground. haha Not so easily done if you bought the condo.

So what is the appeal of Alberta? Keep in mind in Canmore foothill town outside of Banff, was partially flooded in 2013 by the massive river disaster that also impacted Calgary. I wouldn't buy real estate there if you don't know the floodplain area. There is Red Deer, Airdrie....which well, are just prairie small cities. Except for Calgary and Edmonton, there are no other big urban centres. The towns are far apart and very car dependent in the prairies.... Cycling infrastructure does exist in Calgary and Edmonton, but it's a huge ongoing battle.

I'm here in Calgary because I was offered a good job. Not because I like the lifestyle, milieu here.... That's all.

Prairies, the politics, etc. is quite different in Alberta compared to Ontario. It's not as pleasant in my opinion as Ontario cities of Kingston, or a place just outside of Ottawa, Niagara on the Lake, Stratford, Guelph, London.... I grew up in Kitchener-Waterloo. I lived first 40 yrs. in Ontario and also biked within Toronto and outside in some other (no transit) areas, Perth, Merrickville, etc. Going north towards Goderich there are some pleasant towns but very little to do in cold seasons. So feel free to PM me, Helene, since I still visit Ontario with friends and family.

I've named Ontario cities/towns with some older, historic cores with cultural, outdoor activities, universities/colleges (good for interest courses) and services where they aren't dying off.

[Crankin]

Frankly, I am not looking to make all of the changes you all are talking about for my next move. We are going to put our house up for sale in about a year. I doubt we would ever find a one story home here, as there are very few ranches, and they tend to be old and ready for tear down status. Of course, there are condos on one floor, but I think we have really decided to just buy a smaller home, locally, where we can pay cash for the house. Our biggest goal is to have no mortgage, and this will be possible when we sell. We are willing to spend a good bit to remodel, too. However, being able to walk to a few types of places is a definite requirement. There is a commuter rail here, but it's not something I would depend on, so just having it is fine, I don't need to be able to walk to it, although the area I am targeting, it would be possible to walk there from some locations. I don't plan on quitting work for at least 5 years, and it is important for me to stay within the same short commute I have now, or at least not more than 7-8 miles. And, I may continue working at least one day a week until whenever I can't talk and write! Basically, we are looking for a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home, with a flat yard. We will pay for gardening and snow removal, although, in a smaller home, DH may enjoy doing some of that, at least for awhile.
I do not want to move into a more urban area, or even some of the suburbs east of here, that have more services. I just can't take being too close to people. Where I live is not super rural, or anything, but sort of suburban-rural, with some towns having village centers, sometimes, more than one, with services. Most of all, I don't want to leave the area I am in. I've moved a lot, and I want stability. We also still have the idea of buying a small condo/second home out in western MA, so that is a consideration, too.

[ny biker]

My parents are in their late 70s, and are up and down stairs all day in their house. I actually think it has helped them stay fit. They could live on one floor of the house, but won't do that unless they really have to.