Thread Drift

[emily_in_nc]

Re. friendships, boredom, etc....I could relate to a lot of what several different folks have said above.

Although I'm not very social, being an introvert with some social anxiety, I was used to a certain amount of social interaction from working in a close-knit group setting for decades. There was always someone to talk to and to be friends with even with I didn't always have a "best friend" at work, due to people coming and going. And when I got home at night I had DH, and bike club friends over the weekend. We didn't do a lot of nighttime get-togethers with others, but we met people we were friendly at rides, and that filled all our social needs.

When I retired and moved to Belize one week later, we had lots and lots of socializing -- everyone is outside and connected on Facebook when not out and about, so we did lots of socializing. Living on a small island is like living in a small town, we eventually knew people everywhere we went, and it was hard to even take a walk without having to stop numerous times for a chat.

That got old for a couple of introverts. We found ourselves having to "hide" from and and avoid people at times, going the back way just to avoid being seen, or take trips to the mainland where we could anonymous again.

Now, we've come full circle. Everywhere we travel, whether in the US, or now, in Mexico, we're anonymous again. We have friends all over the place, but none right where we are. We're like an island. And it's been this way basically since we came back from Belize in 2013. We've met up with friends in all kinds of far-flung locations as well as in our home state of NC, but most of the time we're traveling, it's just us.

And yes, we get bored and lonely. It's really strange here especially to think how few people we know. The property manager is about it, at least of English-speaking folks.

I'm glad we aren't Extroverts; we'd be going bonkers. Sometimes we really like being away from the social pressures as we hate entertaining, but it is kinda sad not having ANY friends. We hear people having dinner parties and laughing in all the houses around us (everyone hangs out and eats outside), and we feel isolated at those times. It doesn't seem to bother my DH at all, but it does bother me from time to time.

We have lots of activities and interests to keep us busy most of the time, but it's still strange not having any friends other than DH.

[Crankin]

Emily, what you described is the reason DH and I made the decision a long time ago to stay put when we retire. Besides the fact we love the environment here, I know that when I get really old and maybe a little less active, I will want to be near familiar things/people. We decided we'd rather travel a little, but always come home. I've considered maybe going to AZ for a couple of weeks to a month in the winter, but for us, that comes with some ready made friends. But, we wouldn't buy a place there.
I guess I never realized what an extrovert I am. I love entertaining and socializing, so when the people in my bike group are "friendly," but no friendships developed, it makes me feel, like "what's wrong with me?" I also think that living in AZ kind of ruined me for this aspect of life, when I came back to Massachusetts. In AZ, there's always new people and you always make overt social invitations to include them, invite them over for dinner, etc. People here have more family around and seemed consumed with that. They also are not so outgoing/friendly. I know I can be like that, in that I am picky about who I want for real friends, but I'll talk to anyone. DH is extremely extroverted, but doesn't seem to be as bothered by this as me, although we both agree, we'd like to make more friends who live the same lifestyle as us. I really do worry that I spend so much time just with DH.