Would you rather...

[OakLeaf]

If that "rant against the holidays" was directed at me, I guess that's EXACTLY what I mean.

Going back and reading through what I wrote, I'm at a loss to see how I said anything bashing the holidays. By saying how much I miss the ritual, I thought I was embracing the idea of the holidays and feeling a bit of envy for those who still believe.

What does put me off is the idea that if I don't participate in someone else's holiday, I've somehow ruined it for them. If someone requires a piece of me for their holiday to be complete, well, I do bash that idea, I seriously and truly don't have enough pieces left for everyone, but I also don't think that that's what the holidays are about.

Eden, I enjoy participating in other cultures' traditions too, but it's not always so easy to know when I'm welcome and when I'm not, even in religions that have a lot of local adherents. The church I was raised in, all baptized people are welcome to take Holy Communion, and it never occurred to me that the same is not true in all Christian denominations. I still feel kind of bad about the time I took Communion in a Roman Catholic church, not knowing any better. Another time, when a child handed me a candle they were passing around to light the menorah at a Hanukkah party, I was honored to light a candle, but not being Jewish, I really didn't know if I should. It was such a spur of the moment thing that the best I could do was raise an eyebrow at our hostess and get a smile back.