Would you rather...

[Crankin]

Just want to say that the inclusiveness of this forum made it feel safe enough to express my opinion, without fear of being flamed!
And Pam, yes, there are plenty of Jewish people who put up a tree, etc., because, I think they are appreciating the fun and secular things about the holiday. But, if they dug a little deeper, they might find some traditions in their own religion that were just as nice. I am not that religious anymore, and even when I participated a lot more, I belonged (and still do) to a very progressive, non-affiliated synagogue. It provided a wonderful setting to teach my kids values, in a non-dogmatic way.

[Eden]

Maybe it's from not being raised in any religion, but I feel I have the freedom to be happy and celebrate with anyone that I am in the company of and share in their traditions as much as they care to share them with no guilt about being disloyal….. I can't say as I've ever felt unwelcome either - in general I find people love to share their customs and are happy to have you, even if you know little - They'll help you to know what's happening and forgive your faux pas as long as you show that you are interested and are willing to try things. While there are certainly some religious communities who are not particularly welcoming of outsiders, most people are and most people don't think you need to be a convert to celebrate with them.

Going to the Shinto and Buddhist shrines on New Years Eve in Kyoto was a blast. I can only hope to have many more experiences in my life like it.

[lph]

I'm one of the ones sort of waiting for it all to be over. Thats sounds grumpy, but it's not that I don't enjoy some aspects of Christmas. I'm as atheist as they come, but I've still always felt that the most religious songs and rituals around Christmas are the most appealing, maybe because they carry so much meaning. Norway is full of traditions and songs linked to the pagan origin, but I was raised on and love the big, stirring Christian hymns. The newborn child, the great hope, his awful fate, the ultimate sacrifice - this is an extremely powerful story, no matter if you believe in it literally or not. And I think precisely because I empathise with the big emotions that underlie Christmas, I'm always disappointed. I never do turn into a better person, just because it's Christmas. Nor do my family. I dearly love some of them, I put up with some of them, and I have complicated, unsolved issues with a few of them. But none of this magically improves just because it's Christmas and goodwill to all men, especially the loved ones you're supposed to be having a wonderful time with.
Much of this is connected to it being mid-winter, a time of year when I am at my most moody and sentimental and least optimistic, and also indoors a lot, watching tv and reading the newspapers. If it happened in mid-summer, when I'd be too busy running around outside to pick up on everybody else's idea of what Christmas should be like, I'd probably wouldn't give a hoot ;-)
To end in a positive note - I positively LOVE getting gifts from friends, and giving them. They are never obliged to give me anything, so a gift truly means they like me and want to give me something. The same goes for going out to concerts and suchlike.

[lauraelmore1033]

I'm with the waiting for it to be over group. We live one mile away from the mall and the freeway, so from Thanksgiving to new years, it is a major ordeal just getting ANYWHERE. I didn't come from a religious family, so I grew up feeling very confused about the holiday. As a kid, I did enjoy giving and receiving gifts, but had trouble attaching any meaning to all the hoopla. I enjoyed making a Christmas experience for my kids when they were little, but now that they are grown, it just seems like a big, flashy ordeal which gets worse with each passing year.

[PamNY]

This is not really on topic, but I'm sharing it anyway. This is a GoPro video of Christmas lights in Brooklyn. The neighborhood is well-known for elaborate decorations and draws quite a crowd. I wonder what happens if you live there and don't want to decorate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgABL7F4F8

[OakLeaf]

If that "rant against the holidays" was directed at me, I guess that's EXACTLY what I mean.

Going back and reading through what I wrote, I'm at a loss to see how I said anything bashing the holidays. By saying how much I miss the ritual, I thought I was embracing the idea of the holidays and feeling a bit of envy for those who still believe.

What does put me off is the idea that if I don't participate in someone else's holiday, I've somehow ruined it for them. If someone requires a piece of me for their holiday to be complete, well, I do bash that idea, I seriously and truly don't have enough pieces left for everyone, but I also don't think that that's what the holidays are about.

Eden, I enjoy participating in other cultures' traditions too, but it's not always so easy to know when I'm welcome and when I'm not, even in religions that have a lot of local adherents. The church I was raised in, all baptized people are welcome to take Holy Communion, and it never occurred to me that the same is not true in all Christian denominations. I still feel kind of bad about the time I took Communion in a Roman Catholic church, not knowing any better. Another time, when a child handed me a candle they were passing around to light the menorah at a Hanukkah party, I was honored to light a candle, but not being Jewish, I really didn't know if I should. It was such a spur of the moment thing that the best I could do was raise an eyebrow at our hostess and get a smile back.

[smilingcat]

Culturally speaking, Japanese are wierd bunch. They get married in Shinto ceremony and funeral in Budhist ceremony. And big to do children's religious thing called 7,5,3 (shichi, go, san) is to take your child(ren) to shinto shrine to say that your 7 or 3 yo daughter is growing healthy, and for your 5 yo son the same. But its seen not as some religious thing. It was party time for my family. And for the kids, it was time for some sweet confection. Religion didn't even register in my family as something to be concerned with. If its important to you great. if not thats great too.

I do like Christmas for the simple fact that people tend to be more mindful of "peace and good will toward other men." Rest of the year, that sometimes gets lost. And having this holiday to remind us of it is very nice. I did get really mad one year when my ex dragged me to a Christmas church service and some *(&^ nearly caused an accident in the parking lot to butt his way into a parking space that we were patiently waiting. He also flipped us the bird.

So with all the craziness of modern world and the cupcake generation (self centered generation and refuses to share a common cake because they want their own decorated the way they want), this time is nice to remind ourselves that it is about caring for your fellow human being. I also love the tranquail and pastoral music to sooth my worn down and frayed nerve. Thank goodness too for internet buying for the bargain. I would never stand in line at a store or ask a person to work on the holiday. It's a time to spend with our family and friends etc.

Peace be with you,

[Trek420]

Seemed appropriate here. Enjoy;

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3SgVuTSPpWw

[Crankin]

I've seen this before.
Hysterical, and says exactly what I feel.
Oak, I don't think the rant was directed at you. I don't think it was directed at me, either. Like this video says in a very funny way, people just don't understand.