Quality of palliative care

[Catrin]

((((Shooting Star, Dad, and family))) Sending all of you warm thoughts and prayers in this difficult time.

[Crankin]

Shooting Star, I am thinking of you. My dad was in palliative care at the VA Hospital in La Jolla, CA from July to Sept. 5 when he died. The people who work there are really special. While I didn't see any fresh flowers, they certainly did everything possible to make life as normal as possible. Like your sisters, my brother spent almost every non-working moment there, until both myself and the nurses told him to take a break! They stabilized his meds from the awful rehab place he had been in, he wore his own clothes, and there was also music therapy and a few other things. There was the most beautiful healing garden where DH and i spent about 3 hours outside with him. We also wheeled him down to have lunch in the VA cafeteria and it was clear many of the workers knew him, despite the fact this is a huge VA facility, also a teaching hospital next to UCSD Med School. We joked that after 35 years, he finally got to move to La Jolla... the priciest suburb of San Diego. The social worker in the unit helped my brother take care of everything, something that no one else seemed to be able to do, even Jewish Family Service.
So, despite all of the horrible things that have occured at the Veteran's Administration hospitals, this place definitely had it together. They got my dad a hat from his Air Force Unit Platoon in WW2, which he wore daily. When each person on the unit passed away, everyone stood or sat at attention and saluted as he was wheeled out, and music was played.
I wrote a thank you email to the social worker and got a lovely response. I think all of this shows us that just because it's public health or other free care, it doesn't mean it's bad.

[OakLeaf]

Hugs to you and your family, Shootingstar. Having such a nice facility must help.

just because it's public health or other free care, it doesn't mean it's bad.

... actually what I've been reading lately is that it's the recent proliferation of for-profit hospices that's hurt their collective reputation for quality ....

[Helene2013]

I'm sending your and your family good thoughts for what you are going through.

I know here too they are trying very hard to make it is more human to the patient and the family. It certainly was not like this 30 years ago where my mother-in-law was "dumped" to die of cancer. It was horrible. And we did not know better then.

Thanks for sharing such a personal part of you with all of us.

[rebeccaC]

I hope your father is always surrounded by caring and love during his last stage of life.

People who work in palliative and hospice care have all my respect for the compassionate and emotional support they give to others!!

[shootingstar]

I know here too they are trying very hard to make it is more human to the patient and the family. It certainly was not like this 30 years ago where my mother-in-law was "dumped" to die of cancer. It was horrible. And we did not know better then.

That would have been very difficult, Helene. It's hard enough now.. Keep in mind not every hospital even has palliative care or even care like this in the 21st century.

Thx for kind thoughts of everyone so far. I gave this excerpt here....actually help anyone here...think about far into the future if /when we need to plan better or ask good, pointed questions to service providers/local health care system.

Totally agree Rebecca, that people who dedicate their work in palliative care are most appreciated.

[zoom-zoom]

I'm so very sorry. We just attended my dad's memorial service 2 days ago. He was diagnosed only a few months ago with stage 4 colon cancer that had spread all over (please, ladies, get your colonoscopies. At nearly 70 my dad had never had one and hadn't been to the doctor since having a stroke 7-8 years ago). He went through about a month of chemo that didn't help slow/reduce the cancer, then spent only a couple weeks in hospice at home before passing. They did a great job helping keep him comfortable in his late days. When my grandparents passed a few decades ago I don't recall their late days to be so comfortable. None of them were able to pass at home.

Gentle vibes to your dad. I hope his end of life is as comfortable for him (and those of you who love him) as possible.